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I also have anxiety and depression and yes, I feel guilty AND that I failed her but your kind words and the kindness of others here and in private messages has helped somewhat. Thank you all.
Yes, I agree that they want to keep her happy healthy and alive. I'm glad she'll be with a vet tech, even a shop pet in the office, rather than euthanized. Remember, she has 9 lives and you were 2 or 3 of them, and you taught her love is possible, so I think don't sell her short on resilience. She might not like being with other cats or adjusting again, but she can do it and you sent her out with more ability than she came in with.
The tears are fine; you would mourn her if she were passed on and you're mourning her now not being with you. Let it all go, and I'm sorry you couldn't keep her.
BTW, watch Dr. Jeff on the animal channel. He runs a non-profit veterinary practice and all his employees have animals (plural) they adopted because they were in a situation like Rowan's. Have faith that there are people who love animals as much as you do.
Okay the not knowing has been very upsetting. I called the office and the lady that answered said she had been adopted and is being treated by the vet for her latest UTI or whatever it was; she wouldn't tell me. She also wouldn't tell me if it was somebody in their office that adopted her. She did tell me she is in a one kitty home and that if she knew this adoptee like she thinks she does, Rowan is probably sitting on a velvet pillow. Don't know how much of that is true but it helped me have a good cry, get it out of my system and feel a little better about the situation.
I still feel bad that Rowan, at only 8 years old, has been in at least 5 homes since she was born that I know of. Hopefully this is her last one. I still miss her as she was becoming more and affectionate with me.
That sounds promising - I hope! Thanks for the update!
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