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My sister thinks I need THERAPY because of HER issue with MY pets. She Thinks there is something WRONG with me.
I have 3 gorgeous cats. ALL rescues !!! And all we have had since 6 weeks. ALL adult now.
And we also one 5 pound chihuahua/maltese/jack russell mix (adorable). They ALL have been spayed/neutered. ALL get regular vet visits. ALL are up to date on their shots. I can ALWAYS provide a healthy diet and fresh water daily. Our home is nice size. 1,200 SQ feet. clean, warm and inviting. And I change litter box so often people aks HOW i do it with multiple cats. And always compliment me on the way our home smells. I love burning Vanilla oils for spiritual peace and healing. Try it !!
I also have a 14 year old daughter.
I am stay at home Mom. Which means they are never left alone, unless we go out which is usually on the weekend. groceries.shopping etc. Never more than 3 hours. Unless we take day trips. And the dog usually comes along everywhere. - except grocery shopping (dog is also a support animal )
One day my sister invites herself to my home one day. Sits next to the doorway. REFUSES to enter the living room or other area of my house saying "you have TOO MANY PETS !!!!" and asked me to put our black cat in my daughter's bedroom because she doesn't "like black cats". this cat is sweet and NEVER did anything to her !!! And cried until my sister left. 3 hours later. And YES ! SHAME ON ME !! The whole time I felt bad because she sneered and made faces and shook he head whenever one appeared.My sis needs to bring something to my home this week. And wants me to PUT ALL my pets in another room with door closed until SHE leaves. I will never make that mistake again of putting my cats away because ANYONE thinks I have 'too many"
My mindset is everyone has their own life to live and comfort zone. I do not judge or say how they run their life is their business and works for them. My sister is VERY controlling IF you do not agree with her or do things her way or as she would. She will either cut you off, or say as she to you have a problem.
Four is not that many. Obviously we only know your side, but short of it affecting your life adversely (you can't afford to care for them, say, or your house is always a mess and smells, or something like this, none of which is true by your description) I don't see why four is too many. Some might argue that 1200 sq ft is a bit small for four, but cats don't need a ton of space if they get along and you can find room for enough litter boxes. I'd probably only have two with the run of a similar amount of space (okay, with some rooms closed off, it's going to be less space than that actually).
From the way you describe it, it sounds to me like your sister is the one with the problem. Now, I can't say it's completely unreasonable to not want to visit a smallish house with four pets. Some might not feel comfortable with them or whatever, and that's fine. But it's unreasonable IMO to insist to be able to come and stay and then make demands or suggest you are somehow unfit or strange or whatever. I am not versed in sibling relations because I don't have any. But if it were me, if she needs to bring something over, then let her drop it off and leave instead of hanging around 3 hours. You can visit your sis at her house right?
As long as you're not planning to keep adding more, I think you're okay. I would suggest you're probably at a good stopping point. But not too many as long as you're handling it well. We can't really be a good impartial judge of that over the internet given that we would naturally take your side based on this description. But it doesn't sound like your sis is a particularly impartial judge either. Good luck to you.
I agree 3 cats are nothing when you consider those with dozens of cats, often stinking up the place and their family have no issues. Throw in a small dog and still no big deal so long as the place is clean and respectable.
Your House - Your Rules. If yuo decide your pets will have the roam of the house, thats yuor business and only your business. Unless your sister has a allergey, which we can all understand is not her fault, askingt o put the pets away in yuor house for her convinience is absurbed.
If she has a problem with your pets, she's free to call instead of coming by.
Rainbow Connection wrote: My sister is VERY controlling IF you do not agree with her or do things her way or as she would. She will either cut you off, or say as she to you have a problem.
I think you just answered your own question there! No, 3 cats, 1 dog & a child is not too much, that does not make you a hoarder! If I had a relative or friend who came to visit but refused to come inside because I 'had too many pets' - I would have suggested they stay where they are or not bother to come back. You are letting her push you around, if she doesn't focus on this aspect, she'll focus on another.
btw: it is is known that people who physically abuse/kill other humans often begin by mistreating animals. It seems your sister seems to have a problem relating to animals. I'm not saying she would try to harm them or others, but she seems on a path that wouldn't surprise me. It seems to me that your sister is being pretty emotionally abusive to you.
I've had 5 kitties at one time and never felt like I had too many at all. I felt great that I saved their lives, gave them a safe and warm place, lots of love and a full tummy.
I think you sound like a lovely person. Your sister is very abusive. Sisters who love one another accept them for who they are, they don't say such cruel things and behave in such bizarre ways.
Write her off. Life is too short to allow such toxicity in.
And if you can afford to take care of them, and they are well fed, get plenty of attention, healthy, and so on, no, 3 cats and a dog are not "too many pets".
Sadly everything I sad is true without exaggeration. This is the same sister who cut me off and didn't speak to me when I lived in New York, right after the Sept 11th attacks! I never heard from her after. Not even to ask if me and my child were okay. Not for 9 monthes! And why?
-Because she does not like New York. Doesn't understand how anyone can live there. And she was against me raising my child there. Even though I lived on a gorgeous treelined street. Safe area. Beautiful apartment. Excellent school for my daughter. Great career and income. And my daughter and I were super happy!!!
When she finally DECIDED to call me, she said the reason for her silence was "I told you to leave. So you got what you deserved". How heartless can a sister be ?
Same sister who cut me off years before because I gave my Mother a card with the surprise note saying I was pregnant. -This after YEARS of trying. She happened to stop by, again out of the blue. Although I did know she was coming and had planned to share the news as well. She came upstairs and my Mom and I were beaming. So happy! My sister of course smirked and frowned ( being TOO happy is just "too much" she always says) She asked what was going on. My Mom gave he rthe card. She read it. Just stared at the card for about 2 minutes. I asked did she get to my good news? She never looked at me or my Mom, politely put the card down, and just left. No words. Just left. I didn't hear form her until my 9th month of pregnancy. My crime that time:
-You told Mom before you told me. And the thing about it was, you didn't have to tell me that way. The same way you told her. I felt left out. You should have given me my own card or told me separately. The way you told me was - "a matter of a fact" or "oh by the way".
I meant no harm in telling her that way. And didn't mean to heurt her felings. I just wanted her to SHARE my joy. I felt like she made the most special moment of my life about her. Anf to just cut me off with no explanation. Was what I did really THAT terrible?? I ask you?
there have been more cut offs. Because I do not live my life as she does. How she thinks I should. Or how SHE wants me to. Nothing that endanger me. THAT I would understand.
Just personal life choices.
-dating someone of a different race ( I'm mixed... And she is my half sister..) one man was Italian, one was Irish.. My daughter's father Italian... and ya know what.... - who cares!!) GOOD men! GOOD!
I could go on but as I write all of this I realize just how ridiculous I sound. To let someone else effect me. It is tricky though being a family member. Your OWN sister.
But from here on out my number one concern is my my child and myself! The reason I moved back home was because I had cancer. I beat it but do not need the stress. Or feeling like I am lacking or flawed because my sister's vision of my life does not agree with her. A new me from her eon out!
"TOWANDA" !!! Line from "Fried Green Tomatoes" when Kathy Bates characater finally becomes empowered.
My daughther and I are leaving the are soon, and I will have minimal contact with my sister. With probably not much detail of my life. I don't want my fresh start tainted. A sI am certain my life choice will never agree with her. I will keep in touch every now and then and if that is not good enough. -SO be it.
Not being cold. Just realizing my child, my animals, and me -we need no negative transmitters in our lives.
I have so many great friends. So many. they have always been as family.
Well, in your sister's beleif system, you have too many pets. I personally, think one pet is plenty. I think somepeople with pets don't have a clean house, it smells like pets....they don't notice it. I have not been in my Mom's house for several years, because of all the cats. I don't know how many cats she has....mores than 20....
We manage to just not discuss it. Perhaps you can get there with your sister.
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