Toronto Asian Canadian dying to move to California. need help/opinions from people (San Diego: appointed, home)

[missjellyfish]

Hi there, Im an Asian Canadian in my mid twenties (Chinese born Canadian to be specific) and I am currently undergoing what I feel a quarter life crisis.

I have been living in Toronto most of my life and had the opportunity to live in Asia for 2 years (hong kong)

I would love opinions from people that are familiar with both Canadian and American culture, and has also lived in Asia/Europe.

I personally find that Toronto is such a dull boring city, and everyone tends to stick to their own little group. the social scene is just terrible in this city as most of the people I know in Toronto tend to hang out on weekends with the same friends they had since highschool, or even elementary school. always the same people, same group, same place.
it is just extremely depressing as people are not willing to expand their social circles, mingle. also the cold winters, large space, scattered population does not help either.

I understand that for certain extremely outgoing charismatic people, making friends is easy for them anywhere in the world, however, I do believe that in some cities it is harder to make friends/be social than others.

I was able to make lots of friends in Hong Kong, people tend to want to socialize there, more willing to hang out after work, attend social events etc. the city was more energetic, people are much more willing to meet up.
but in Toronto, everyone just goes to work and rushes home (cold winter, long commute, nobody wants to stay out late after work). I remember myself trying to meet up with old friends in Toronto after coming back from Asia, some of these people were so busy and unwilling to meet up I literally had to wait months before seeing them. ridiculous. it made me sad and upset. Toronto people tend to hide at home during winter and really don't care about having a social life at all. I never experienced this in Hong Kong, I felt much less lonely in Hong Kong than I did in Toronto.

however, due to the fact I am Chinese Canadian, I enjoy the western culture more than eastern, which is why Hong Kong did not work out for me although I loved the energy and social scene.
therefore, I feel that I should explore the US and give another city a try.

I am seriously thinking of moving to California, right now San Francisco is on my radar as I hear wonderful things about it.

need people that have the experience of having lived in the cities I mentioned above (san fran, hong kong, Toronto etc) so I can have a better understanding of what it's like in America.

are people in California more social? more willing to hang out, is SF an energetic city? as opposed to the dull,boring Toronto?

thanks!

[u225615]

If you're an extrovert you should be just fine in SF. It would help if you have a liberal/green agenda as many people in SF identify with such causes, whether superficial or otherwise, and it follows that your chance of establishing relationships increases when you move to an area that has a larger pool of like minded individuals (but don't think it's an absolute).

SF seems to shut down at 9:00 pm (not like NYC or Las Vegas) but the clubs in the SOMA (South of Market District) stay open late along with a few local restaurants/pubs and cafes scattered throughout the City including North Beach (Little Italy).

Just a thought for making new friends...in the US (and probably beyond) there are "meetup" groups in many areas featuring a variety of planned get togethers from hiking to biking to motorcycling, dining out, etc.

I like SF for the distinct neighborhoods...Mission (Latin and Bohemian vibe). Marina (young athletic professionals), Lower Haight (grunge/Anarchist), Inner Sunset (youngish crowd/students from UCSF/couples/small families) etc...and outdoor attractions...Golden Gate, Chrissy Fields, The Presidio, Fort Funston, Lake Merced, etc. The vibe of the whole city to me, anyway, is one of energy and live and let live attitudes (mostly). Hope I don't offend anyone with these characterizations because it's just my impression others may well see it differently.

[HappyinCali]

I would SF is not the easiest place to make friends. I posted in another thread that it feels very cliquish. I think that you could create your own clique through work, but I have noticed it is hard to just meet people at events like soccer league or flag football. I met some people that I was pretty friendly with in those leagues and the relationships never lasted past the season.

That said, there is a very large Asian population that is heavily involved in the clubbing scene etc. so if you have game, meeting a girl could be relatively easy. But from my interaction with that population, it is even more cliquish than the general SF population. I knew two girls from work in another city, so when I moved here, I went to hang out with their friends and they all had been together since high school or college.

edit: oooops, I just noticed your username. My comments about meeting a girl can be safely ignored. BTW, my wife is Asian-American, who was born in the U.S. and I feel she would totally agree with some of your sentiments.

[missjellyfish]

Originally Posted by u225615

If you're an extrovert you should be just fine in SF. It would help if you have a liberal/green agenda as many people in SF identify with such causes, whether superficial or otherwise, and it follows that your chance of establishing relationships increases when you move to an area that has a larger pool of like minded individuals (but don't think it's an absolute).

SF seems to shut down at 9:00 pm (not like NYC or Las Vegas) but the clubs in the SOMA (South of Market District) stay open late along with a few local restaurants/pubs and cafes scattered throughout the City including North Beach (Little Italy).

Just a thought for making new friends...in the US (and probably beyond) there are "meetup" groups in many areas featuring a variety of planned get togethers from hiking to biking to motorcycling, dining out, etc.

I like SF for the distinct neighborhoods...Mission (Latin and Bohemian vibe). Marina (young athletic professionals), Lower Haight (grunge/Anarchist), Inner Sunset (youngish crowd/students from UCSF/couples/small families) etc...and outdoor attractions...Golden Gate, Chrissy Fields, The Presidio, Fort Funston, Lake Merced, etc. The vibe of the whole city to me, anyway, is one of energy and live and let live attitudes (mostly). Hope I don't offend anyone with these characterizations because it's just my impression others may well see it differently.

thanks for your reply, yes you are right, my goal is to find the right place, then meet the right people...and possibly Mr.Right =)
I feel Toronto people are very closed off and reserved in terms of expanding their social circle and Toronto itself is a dull, boring cold city. the winters are simply depressing.
I'm glad you saying that the vibe of SF is more energetic. I feel Toronto is extremely dead. Hong Kong is the most energetic city ive ever been to.
thanks for your help =)

[HappyinCali]

SF is nothing like Hong Kong. I would describe HK as NYC on steroids. NYC is also cold, though.

[missjellyfish]

Originally Posted by HappyinCali

I would SF is not the easiest place to make friends. I posted in another thread that it feels very cliquish. I think that you could create your own clique through work, but I have noticed it is hard to just meet people at events like soccer league or flag football. I met some people that I was pretty friendly with in those leagues and the relationships never lasted past the season.

That said, there is a very large Asian population that is heavily involved in the clubbing scene etc. so if you have game, meeting a girl could be relatively easy. But from my interaction with that population, it is even more cliquish than the general SF population. I knew two girls from work in another city, so when I moved here, I went to hang out with their friends and they all had been together since high school or college.

edit: oooops, I just noticed your username. My comments about meeting a girl can be safely ignored. BTW, my wife is Asian-American, who was born in the U.S. and I feel she would totally agree with some of your sentiments.

haha, I guess America and Canada is similar in that sense, makes me a bit worried about moving to SF..

[missjellyfish]

Originally Posted by HappyinCali

SF is nothing like Hong Kong. I would describe HK as NYC on steroids. NYC is also cold, though.

HAHA woa. didn't expect that...
I guess I am very disappointed now as Toronto is nothing compared to HK and its hard to find such a vibrant city in north America.
I don't mind the cold since im Canadian but I heard the dating scene in NY is terrible for women so I don't really want to go there.

[Social Democrat]

Is LA out of the question for you? Also, what about US immigration rules?

[roadwarrior101]

Originally Posted by missjellyfish

haha, I guess America and Canada is similar in that sense, makes me a bit worried about moving to SF..

I've lived both in SF and in San Diego. I would have to say that it was a lot easier to meet friends down in SD. In SF, it is cliquish and similar to what you have experienced in Toronto. Also, people tend to be very consumed with work and such. Its a more laid back vibe in SoCal.

[missjellyfish]

Originally Posted by Social Democrat

Is LA out of the question for you? Also, what about US immigration rules?

im open to anything. i just want to experience california. i heard some people say LA is for me, some people say the opposite..ive been to LA once, loved it. probably because it was a 4 day trip and i walked around beverly hills for a bit.
as for immigration rules, i havent given much thought as of yet because im not moving to the US anytime soon, just researching as much as I can and need feedback from more people =)