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I’ve spent a considerable amount of time in this part of the world (Stanley/Challis) with CA and 5B plates. I can, without hesitation say I’d rather have CA plates vs 5B. Lots of transient traffic up 75/93, especially in summer, so out of state plates are not uncommon. So if that’s your concern- I’d get over it. I can’t speak to his “attitude/mouth” but sounds like this would be an issue anywhere …
Rough living in central ID up 93 - beautiful part of the world but not for everyone.
If you've said what you think you should say to them out of concern for them (or a little less), GIVE yourselves peace (as much as you can) for doing you what you could. You will need your strength for yourselves and future challenges whatever they may be, so save it and don't lose it all now.
Salmon doesn't usually get that much snow in town, so hardcore builders might push thru the winter or at least the better days.
A typical winter does have 20 nights below zero though. You could mention that. To try to make sure the kids and everyone have clothes and fortitude for that. And to maybe encourage further consideration.
Craigslist has 1 2br apartment available. Realtor.com and Zillow.com have no rental listings. There may be some put there, but it will take further looking.
Why not suggest that the young man go ahead and start the transition on his own? You know let him be the first to move, get settled and then send for his family once they have a landing spot? Then if it doesn't work out to their expectations its only going to be the cost of one person moving back and not an entire family,
That is our concern... they are going to get there and then not have the resources to move back.
Currently, they went to Challis/Salmon for a wedding in early September. They have a "not really family member" (an old step mother) who lives there in Salmon. We are not sure what she does but she is providing a lot of misinformation to them.
Supposedly, my son-in-law has found work framing houses (in November?) but told his employer he will need a month before he can get to Salmon. This makes it December and I question how much home building will go on in the winter. But he has to have a month or two of paychecks before they can apply for a loan (USDA). This also brings up the question where will he live in the interim and where will he get his meals? He is the very loud Hispanic member of the household and is used to having his way. I am really afraid he will get up there and truly get his ass kicked by someone who isn't going to appreciate his California plates, attitude, and mouth.
My wife is beside herself with worry and anxiety and we are already dealing with being Paramedics in the middle of a COVID crisis (they have their own opinions about that as well...). And no amount of trying to get her to do research is working. They are convinced that if they "pray about it, then God will tell them what to do."
I am scared for him, them, and for my wife.
Thanks all here for the words. Not sure what they can do for anyone else but it makes me feel better to talk about it.
You're right about this being a hard season to move. If there is any way possible to set the big move later, I think late February to mid-March would be probably a better time to move the entire family and all the stuff.
Your son-in-law could be working all winter if his employer has several houses that are completely enclosed and unfinished on the inside. Contractors here rush this time of year to get their projects buttoned up, and during the winters, all the time is spent on the interior work. The projects are typically heated inside with portable heaters until all the duct work and the furnace is installed.
Heavy snow can slow this work, but usually doesn't stop it. It's all in the planning, and pretty much out of the laborer's hands.
Your son-in-law would have to know how to do some finish carpentering, and if he can do dry wall, that would help him to work steadily.
I once made and interstate move with a boy who was 13 at the time, and my kid had a far harder time adjusting to the new town than I did. The move was just over the border from Idaho to Montana, where the cultures are very similar for adults, but the kid cultures were very different.
He really struggled to make new friends, and was generally cut out until one of the most popular boys his age took him under his wing. But even then, he grew to miss his old life, where he was popular and well known and had a lot of friends, until he really wanted to go back.
That he couldn't depressed him vet ry much, which only added more stress onto him. Eventually he did go back, and soon returned to his old self, but he never wanted to live in Montana again.
Since I don't know the ages of your kids, I honestly don't know how hard it would be for them, but I'm sure it will not be easy or smooth.
I think joining a church and becoming active in its activities would help everyone in the family become accepted and adjusted. I think the kids joining FFA may be a good thing too. Or any activity where the any of the kids can do well, such as sports.
One advantage they have are their siblings. if they are stair-stepped in age, one child's new friend could lead in more ways to other new friends. Being alone without a brother or sister really made my boy stand out as being different.
But I'm sure school life is so different in California that all the kids will stand out if there aren't any more similar kids their age enrolled.
If it was me, there's no way I would want to move my family to Salmon so close to winter after living in California a long time.
The first winter is the hardest for any transplant, and winter is never easy in Salmon, even if the winter is unseasonably warm and open down on the Snake River Plain.
'Warm and open' is relative. The natives will know its warm, but no Californian ever will until they've lived through a few winters here. One thing about our winters that's unanticipated is how dark they are. Idaho is farther north, so the days are short and the cold nights are very long. The hours at sunrise are always the coldest, and that's when our kids are leaving home to go to school. They'll be coming home in the darkness too.
If there was any way possible for your son-in-law to move there alone to take the job, I honestly think that would be the best. That would give him some time to assimilate, time to plan, save some money, and get established. The move would be smoother and I think much more successful for the rest of his family.
There's a real shortage of skilled labor right now all over the area, so if he was alone, and discovered Salmon really isn't the best place for him and his family like he thought it would be, both the Upper Snake River valley and just over the Montana border both have enough other small towns and cities that are a few hours away he could find at least one that is more suitable.
Missoula is about as far away as Idaho Falls is in the opposite direction. In between both of them are smaller cities of various sizes. I don't think being Hispanic will be a big deal at all anywhere in the region, but coming from California will be.
I honestly don't know how much, though.
Rexburg is closer to Salmon than I.F., and Rexburg is full of young families that are from everywhere, so being California natives isn't a big deal there. Being LDS is the big deal in Rexburg, so the church is where all the social relationships are made most commonly.
Each city will be different. Cities in Idaho don't have the same commonality that's found in California.
Transition is going to be easier in the larger cities than in the smaller towns.
I also think Covid will be lifting its heavy grip on us all by the end of this coming winter, so by late next spring, life will be more normal than it is now for everyone. I think Covid has put the entire nation on edge, and while it will likely still be here, it will be a lot easier to live with in a few months.
Prayer helps, but planning helps more.
Last edited by banjomike; 11-09-2021 at 05:53 AM..
Why not suggest that the young man go ahead and start the transition on his own? You know let him be the first to move, get settled and then send for his family once they have a landing spot? Then if it doesn't work out to their expectations its only going to be the cost of one person moving back and not an entire family,
That is what has to happen as he has to work in that area for at least a month before they can apply for a loan... and what they are looking at is a double wide with a basement on one acre. I will not add any more than that except they expect to qualify for USDA lending.
Meantime, if they sell the house here so that they can move, they a) do not acknowledge there are capital gains taxes to be paid and b) they will be out of a place to live.
We are beyond exasperated and last night realized we would drive ourselves nuts trying to reason with the unreasonable.
One wrinkly I haven't thrown is that the family is also the caretaker of my wife's 80 year old mother. She cannot live with us as we are both Paramedics and are gone for long shifts so we cannot take care of her 24/7 as she needs. And so plans are being made to move "Grams" (That's what the kids call their grandmother) with them to Idaho. We think this is very dangerous.
Thank you all for allowing me to vent a bit. I cannot talk to anyone here about all this as it just adds to the stress. And if I am out of line, it's okay to tell me so... but thanks again.
You're right about this being a hard season to move. If there is any way possible to set the big move later, I think late February to mid-March would be probably a better time to move the entire family and all the stuff.
Your son-in-law could be working all winter if his employer has several houses that are completely enclosed and unfinished on the inside. Contractors here rush this time of year to get their projects buttoned up, and during the winters, all the time is spent on the interior work. The projects are typically heated inside with portable heaters until all the duct work and the furnace is installed.
Heavy snow can slow this work, but usually doesn't stop it. It's all in the planning, and pretty much out of the laborer's hands.
Your son-in-law would have to know how to do some finish carpentering, and if he can do dry wall, that would help him to work steadily.
I once made and interstate move with a boy who was 13 at the time, and my kid had a far harder time adjusting to the new town than I did. The move was just over the border from Idaho to Montana, where the cultures are very similar for adults, but the kid cultures were very different.
He really struggled to make new friends, and was generally cut out until one of the most popular boys his age took him under his wing. But even then, he grew to miss his old life, where he was popular and well known and had a lot of friends, until he really wanted to go back.
That he couldn't depressed him vet ry much, which only added more stress onto him. Eventually he did go back, and soon returned to his old self, but he never wanted to live in Montana again.
Since I don't know the ages of your kids, I honestly don't know how hard it would be for them, but I'm sure it will not be easy or smooth.
I think joining a church and becoming active in its activities would help everyone in the family become accepted and adjusted. I think the kids joining FFA may be a good thing too. Or any activity where the any of the kids can do well, such as sports.
One advantage they have are their siblings. if they are stair-stepped in age, one child's new friend could lead in more ways to other new friends. Being alone without a brother or sister really made my boy stand out as being different.
But I'm sure school life is so different in California that all the kids will stand out if there aren't any more similar kids their age enrolled.
If it was me, there's no way I would want to move my family to Salmon so close to winter after living in California a long time.
The first winter is the hardest for any transplant, and winter is never easy in Salmon, even if the winter is unseasonably warm and open down on the Snake River Plain.
'Warm and open' is relative. The natives will know its warm, but no Californian ever will until they've lived through a few winters here. One thing about our winters that's unanticipated is how dark they are. Idaho is farther north, so the days are short and the cold nights are very long. The hours at sunrise are always the coldest, and that's when our kids are leaving home to go to school. They'll be coming home in the darkness too.
If there was any way possible for your son-in-law to move there alone to take the job, I honestly think that would be the best. That would give him some time to assimilate, time to plan, save some money, and get established. The move would be smoother and I think much more successful for the rest of his family.
There's a real shortage of skilled labor right now all over the area, so if he was alone, and discovered Salmon really isn't the best place for him and his family like he thought it would be, both the Upper Snake River valley and just over the Montana border both have enough other small towns and cities that are a few hours away he could find at least one that is more suitable.
Missoula is about as far away as Idaho Falls is in the opposite direction. In between both of them are smaller cities of various sizes. I don't think being Hispanic will be a big deal at all anywhere in the region, but coming from California will be.
I honestly don't know how much, though.
Rexburg is closer to Salmon than I.F., and Rexburg is full of young families that are from everywhere, so being California natives isn't a big deal there. Being LDS is the big deal in Rexburg, so the church is where all the social relationships are made most commonly.
Each city will be different. Cities in Idaho don't have the same commonality that's found in California.
Transition is going to be easier in the larger cities than in the smaller towns.
I also think Covid will be lifting its heavy grip on us all by the end of this coming winter, so by late next spring, life will be more normal than it is now for everyone. I think Covid has put the entire nation on edge, and while it will likely still be here, it will be a lot easier to live with in a few months.
Prayer helps, but planning helps more.
Thanks Mike! I would add two things... they/we are not Mormon. They are more evangelical in religious bent. And second, the kids currently are home schooled because the schools here "are too liberal" and the subjects are not "Christian based". I reserve all comment about that.
As a result of these two things, for the most part, the only friends the kids have are themselves. The older two (16 and 15) have both had paying jobs outside the home (Domino's and a local BBQ place) and I think they use that as an excuse to get away from home. Also, I think having 10 people in one place is taxing enough without making this kind of move.
As far as convincing them this is a poor time to make this decision, that is moot. They are hell bent and will not let anyone reason with them. It is about to drive my poor wife nuts... she has a close relationship with all her grandchildren and this mean 7 of them, her mom, her daughter, all move a long ways away.
There is also an expectation that my wife and I will sell our house and move there as well. Which ain't gonna happen... I have no interest in moving to Salmon and selling our log house in California. I am already buying property in Alaska and if I move anywhere, it will be there. ****, I'm 68 years old! I'm tired of moving!
That is what has to happen as he has to work in that area for at least a month before they can apply for a loan... and what they are looking at is a double wide with a basement on one acre. I will not add any more than that except they expect to qualify for USDA lending.
Meantime, if they sell the house here so that they can move, they a) do not acknowledge there are capital gains taxes to be paid and b) they will be out of a place to live.
We are beyond exasperated and last night realized we would drive ourselves nuts trying to reason with the unreasonable.
One wrinkly I haven't thrown is that the family is also the caretaker of my wife's 80 year old mother. She cannot live with us as we are both Paramedics and are gone for long shifts so we cannot take care of her 24/7 as she needs. And so plans are being made to move "Grams" (That's what the kids call their grandmother) with them to Idaho. We think this is very dangerous.
Thank you all for allowing me to vent a bit. I cannot talk to anyone here about all this as it just adds to the stress. And if I am out of line, it's okay to tell me so... but thanks again.
Its clearly not my call, but Salmon being remote is not where I would want my 80 something relative living!
Its clearly not my call, but Salmon being remote is not where I would want my 80 something relative living!
Well neither do we... but it's with the daughter or a nursing home. My wife nor I can take care of her as we both do shift work as Paramedics. And the nursing home situation is very palatable to us.
Construction workers are in short supply in that region for sure. So jobwise, this might work out. While it may seem like a snap decision, in another way it is not. In construction and contracting in general, opportunities pop up when they will and you have to be willing to make quick decisions. It is usually not like applying for an more usual 8-5 job.
And building indeed continues apace in winter.... the regional demand is such that builders are backlogged for 2-3 years in many rural towns up this way, and they have to keep rolling through winter. This is unusual but is reality right now. Builders are looking all over for good workers; one here locally in WY hired a guy from MN. Why I know all of this: I am being my own builder simply because the local builders in Dubois WY (population <1000) are backlogged that far out. as for winter work, I just sheathed a roof with 1 other guy yesterday in 35 degree weather after an overnight low of 19F. Thank goodness the wind was down! And we'll possibly be pouring a garage slab just before Thanksgiving, with additives to the concrete and concrete blankets applied while it cures.....gotta get it done. The cold is not as bad as you might think... the dryness takes the edge off of the cold and if you layer clothes, you'll be fine.
The adjustment to not having large shopping, the climate, the locale, etc., are all up to them. I see lots of advice on the ID and WY forums about how hard it is to adjust for outsiders (with the often implied 'don't do this' theme), but it does not hold true to for everyone. I don't think anyone here can judge the outcome.... we don't know them at all.
The cultural assimilation is the same way.. it all depends, I know a Hispanic fellow here in Dubois WY who has been here a long time, has a subcontracting business, and is getting along fine. He worked for several years as an interior carpenter for one of the few local builders, and has branched out on his own. If your SIL is brash and outspoken, then this may be an indication of the exact attitude needed to shrug any problems off and keep on. You can bet that out of 7 kids, some will do fine and some will not.
Hope that helps.
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