[scongress1234]

• We don't keep firearms in this house.
  Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer?
  You can't feed that to the dog.
  I thought Graceland was tacky.
  No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.
  Wrasslin's fake.
  
  Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
  We're vegetarians.
  Do you think my hair is too big?
  I'll have grapefruit instead of a bowl of gravy.
  Honey, these bonsai trees need watering?
  Give me the SMALL bag of pork rinds.
  
  Deer heads detract from the decor.
  Spitting is such a nasty habit.
  I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
  Trim the fat off that steak.
  Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
  The tires on that truck are too big.
  
  I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
  I've got it all on a floppy disk.
  Unsweetened tea tastes better.
  Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
  My fiancee, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
  Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
  
  Checkmate.
  Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
  Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
  I don't have a favorite college team.
  I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
  Elvis who?
  Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
  

[southernnaturelover]

I hear at least half of those.

[undertheironsea]

Ugh, stereotypes.

I know these are supposed to be cute, but it gets old. Sometimes I wonder if my fellow Southerners are little too self-depricating.

[scongress1234]

Originally Posted by undertheironsea

Ugh, stereotypes.

I know these are supposed to be cute, but it gets old. Sometimes I wonder if my fellow Southerners are little too self-depricating.

Sorry, I'll try to find better ones....those are too Jeff Foxworthy-ish...

Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace was pretty good, though...never heard that one

[steve062989]

just for the record.

i have a bonsai tree
i don't let people ride in the back of my truck because its unsafe.
"wraslin" is fake and everbody knows that
nobody uses floppies hardly anymore

most of the rest is true for the most part.

LOL

[cpg35223]

Originally Posted by scongress1234

• We don't keep firearms in this house.
  Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer?
  You can't feed that to the dog.
  I thought Graceland was tacky.
  No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.
  Wrasslin's fake.
  
  Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
  We're vegetarians.
  Do you think my hair is too big?
  I'll have grapefruit instead of a bowl of gravy.
  Honey, these bonsai trees need watering?
  Give me the SMALL bag of pork rinds.
  
  Deer heads detract from the decor.
  Spitting is such a nasty habit.
  I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
  Trim the fat off that steak.
  Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
  The tires on that truck are too big.
  
  I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
  I've got it all on a floppy disk.
  Unsweetened tea tastes better.
  Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
  My fiancee, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
  Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
  
  Checkmate.
  Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
  Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
  I don't have a favorite college team.
  I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
  Elvis who?
  Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
  

Get your own material.

[southernnaturelover]

I have never heard of anyone named "Paula Jo", or "Linda Sue", or "Cyndi Lou", or "Ellie Mae". If they do have names like that they sure don't use them. Where do people get this from, the Beverly Hillbillies??

[One Thousand]

"I'd never eat that."

[Sadler's sweetie]

You can ALWAYS find something at WALMART!!!!

[TimtheGuy]

Originally Posted by scongress1234

• We don't keep firearms in this house.
  Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer?
  You can't feed that to the dog.
  I thought Graceland was tacky.
  No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.
  Wrasslin's fake.
  
  Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
  We're vegetarians.
  Do you think my hair is too big?
  I'll have grapefruit instead of a bowl of gravy.
  Honey, these bonsai trees need watering?
  Give me the SMALL bag of pork rinds.
  
  Deer heads detract from the decor.
  Spitting is such a nasty habit.
  I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
  Trim the fat off that steak.
  Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
  The tires on that truck are too big.
  
  I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
  I've got it all on a floppy disk.
  Unsweetened tea tastes better.
  Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
  My fiancee, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
  Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
  
  Checkmate.
  Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
  Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
  I don't have a favorite college team.
  I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
  Elvis who?
  Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
  

Well, I though it was pretty funny and accurate too.