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I don't think Alabama is anywhere near as bad as posted here. I know plenty of people of various sexual orientations and races who live in Ala. They rarely have problems. I partially grew up in Huntsville, and have family there. I never found it to be any more racist than any other place. In fact, my mom's neighborhood in Huntsville (NE) is very diverse. People are super friendly in Alabama. When I go back, I am always shocked at how many people start conversations with me and say, "Hi." People are always willing to lend a helping hand. If you have found a negative attitude toward you, then you need to look at what you are doing. Do you always talk about how much better things were where you used to live? Do you look down on Southerners? Do you criticize the way things are done where you live now? Maybe you need to just slow down. It might be hard for native Alabamians to understand your accent. What have you done to be a better neighbor? a better friend?
I'm from south Alabama but have been in north Alabama for 5 years.There is a big difference but I like both, because im from Alabama and I like the the gulf,river heritage region, and mountains in the north. Thats what make this state great.
But i love south Alabama most, because of its old southern building ,homes and history.You also have Spanish moss from Montgomery down to the gulf which i love.In north Alabama I just don't get that same feeling, but they do have mountains if you are in to that.South Alabama has more of a home or family feeling for me. I guess because im from the region.I'm African American and i know Alabama has racism but its no different than any other place.I grew up in the black belt region of the state and never experienced racist like a lot of people on these forum claim Alabama has.But thats just me.
I agree with you totally about the negativity. I have walked with a neighbor every day for the last 1+ years. However, I am just about at the end of my rope with her negativity. All she talks about is how much she hates Madison, hates her house, hates the other neighbors, etc. And then she says "Nobody is friendly!" Well duh! She is from Tennessee but talks continually about how much better she liked it in Indianapolis where she lived before she moved here ~20 years ago. People can take only so much negativity before they pull away.
No kidding. You know, we moved here from Chicago and were embraced immediately. We have plenty of friends here, and get along with everybody.
Rude people? Unsociable? Dentaigirl, are we even in the same state? First, politeness seems to be almost part of the genetic code here. Second, Alabamians are the most sociable people I've ever met. When we moved into our old neighborhood on Birmingham's southside, three different neighbors brought us desserts by the end of the first day. Four other sets of neighbors rang the doorbell to say hello. One woman returned the next day with a typed list of interior design shops, paint stores, painters, plumbers, and everything else you could care to name. By the end of the second week, we were on a first-name basis with practically everybody on our block--something we couldn't say about our old neighbor up north.
What's more, let me tell you that Chicago is a lot more racist than Alabama at this point. There's simply no comparison. Yeah, there's still an old mossback lurking around here and there, but every town is segregated to some degree.
Second of all, I've read your past posts, heathanoah, and negativity and condescension drip from every syllable. If it's like that on this message board, I'm betting you're like that in person. If so, you're communicating all kinds of things without saying a single word, and you're probably going to be unhappy almost anywhere you live. And that's coming from a guy who's lived in Chicago, Cleveland, San Diego, and Maryland.
Sure, Southerners can be an insular bunch sometimes. But that's a cultural issue. Once they get to know you, you're practically family. What's more, they're sensitive about people coming down here and ramming the Northern perspective down their collective throats. Guess what? If an Alabamian moved to Chicago, he wouldn't dream of telling everybody what they're doing wrong. Yet a lot of my fellow northerners seem to think they have carte blanche to criticize everything about Alabama, not realizing that they're new here.
A lot of people here don't want to accept that because it threatens the way of life down here.
People accept change when they see a need for change. Perhaps they don't see the need as exhibited by your behavior toward them. Not everybody does things better in other parts of the world. After all, why is not possible for you to change, just us?
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
Rude people? Unsociable? Dentaigirl, are we even in the same state? First, politeness seems to be almost part of the genetic code here. Second, Alabamians are the most sociable people I've ever met. When we moved into our old neighborhood on Birmingham's southside, three different neighbors brought us desserts by the end of the first day. Four other sets of neighbors rang the doorbell to say hello. One woman returned the next day with a typed list of interior design shops, paint stores, painters, plumbers, and everything else you could care to name. By the end of the second week, we were on a first-name basis with practically everybody on our block--something we couldn't say about our old neighbor up north.
I was taught and teach my daughters that you may not like someone, but you dang sure better be polite to them.
I was born here and live within 60 miles of my hometown. Where I live now is an eclectic bunch of families, from all over the nation and Canada. My neighbors that I am friends with are my friends because they make the effort also to be friendly.
Several years ago, a lesbian to move in across the street. The first day she moved in, my wife and went across to introduce ourselves offer help if she needed as we always do with new neighbors. She let us know in none too uncertain terms that she didn't need our help. Not knocking her lifestlye, just our distance from then on was because of her attitudes. My neighbor two doors down heard her playing the guitar one afternon in a style he also plays and invited her over to his home to play with "band" later on. Trust me, he's no lothario, being a 50 year old, never married, good guy. He said you'd have thought he ask her to do it right there on the front porch with her reaction. She eventually moved and was replaced by a *gasp* black family. Well, they've been good neighbors, the two middle boys teaching my youngest daughter to ride a bike. My "redneck" (I don't like the term, but it gets the point across) neighbor around the corner went with the dad to buy a riding mower because the dad had never been on one and didn't know what to get. They are accepted because they try to be good neighbors.
Quote:
Second of all, I've read your past posts, heathanoah, and negativity and condescension drip from every syllable. If it's like that on this message board, I'm betting you're like that in person. If so, you're communicating all kinds of things without saying a single word, and you're probably going to be unhappy almost anywhere you live. And that's coming from a guy who's lived in Chicago, Cleveland, San Diego, and Maryland.
true
Quote:
Sure, Southerners can be an insular bunch sometimes. But that's a cultural issue. Once they get to know you, you're practically family. What's more, they're sensitive about people coming down here and ramming the Northern perspective down their collective throats.
Yes, why is any habit a Southerner has is automatically found to be deficient? You treat me right, I'll treat you right. It works both ways.
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Guess what? If an Alabamian moved to Chicago, he wouldn't dream of telling everybody what they're doing wrong. Yet a lot of my fellow northerners seem to think they have carte blanche to criticize everything about Alabama, not realizing that they're new here.
Bingo!
Quote:
Originally Posted by dentaigirl10
I dont live in arab I live in madison but I couldnt agree with you more. We are moving . I moved here from Michigan and I have never meet such rude,unsocialble people in my life I hate it here we are move back up north were the people are friendly and social. Oh and your right no one can drive here.
Maybe, just maybe your actions toward them are saying the same thing and they are responding in kind.
Quote:
Originally Posted by heathanoah
I admit I do have a negative attitude towards Birmingham now. You would too if you had been through what I have here. My girlfriend and I have both been assaulted-me by my drug addicted (and now imprisoned thank god) neighbor, and her by a complete stranger for kissing me in public. We have tried to make friends through work, school and church with not one "true" friend coming out of it. I just think it's funny that I have lived in many other places and find it very easy to get along, so it can't be all me. There is a lot of bad energy in Alabama as far as I am concerned, but that is my opinion. Oh, and I have also been degraded in a published forum by a state elected official, who made fun of my sexual idenity and my race. I know that no place is even close to perfect, but I think people need to know what they are getting into when they move to Alabama-the stereotypes are alive and well and very palpable for people like me.
Where do you live to have that much violence around you? Yeah, I guess you could go back to whatever ultra-safe northern city you came from. They have no crime there, I guess.
I guess you never make fun of Southerners? I'll refrain from calling us rednecks, because for some us that word in analogous to a disrpectful term for blacks that they use but whites can't.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Threestep
Ok, you moved into a soso neighborhood. Personally - I keep displays of affections from public view.
This is another one of your pitty party hangers - you have been degraded..... Not everyone may be interested in your sexual preferences. Your race is of no interest as far as I am concerned.
If it is so bad - relocation may be an option before it gets worse.
We moved a lot. I always considered myself the one coming to a new community. They did not ask me to come. I came. So I did my best to respect their way of doing things without loosing mine in the process.
PDAs between the same sex? Heck, I don't really care for heterosexual PDAs either, when two are stuck together like Siamese twins. If you need to slobber that much all over each other, get a room.
People accept change when they see a need for change. Perhaps they don't see the need as exhibited by your behavior toward them. Not everybody does things better in other parts of the world. After all, why is not possible for you to change, just us?
I was taught and teach my daughters that you may not like someone, but you dang sure better be polite to them.
I was born here and live within 60 miles of my hometown. Where I live now is an eclectic bunch of families, from all over the nation and Canada. My neighbors that I am friends with are my friends because they make the effort also to be friendly.
Several years ago, a lesbian to move in across the street. The first day she moved in, my wife and went across to introduce ourselves offer help if she needed as we always do with new neighbors. She let us know in none too uncertain terms that she didn't need our help. Not knocking her lifestlye, just our distance from then on was because of her attitudes. My neighbor two doors down heard her playing the guitar one afternon in a style he also plays and invited her over to his home to play with "band" later on. Trust me, he's no lothario, being a 50 year old, never married, good guy. He said you'd have thought he ask her to do it right there on the front porch with her reaction. She eventually moved and was replaced by a *gasp* black family. Well, they've been good neighbors, the two middle boys teaching my youngest daughter to ride a bike. My "redneck" (I don't like the term, but it gets the point across) neighbor around the corner went with the dad to buy a riding mower because the dad had never been on one and didn't know what to get. They are accepted because they try to be good neighbors.
true
Yes, why is any habit a Southerner has is automatically found to be deficient? You treat me right, I'll treat you right. It works both ways.
Bingo!
Maybe, just maybe your actions toward them are saying the same thing and they are responding in kind.
Where do you live to have that much violence around you? Yeah, I guess you could go back to whatever ultra-safe northern city you came from. They have no crime there, I guess.
I guess you never make fun of Southerners? I'll refrain from calling us rednecks, because for some us that word in analogous to a disrpectful term for blacks that they use but whites can't.
PDAs between the same sex? Heck, I don't really care for heterosexual PDAs either, when two are stuck together like Siamese twins. If you need to slobber that much all over each other, get a room.
When in Rome...
Just to let you guys know, I live in Southside, one block from Highland park, but nobody welcomed me to the neighborhood. I was attacked by my neighbor who wanted drug money I assume, and my girlfriend was beaten on the front porch of our home, so it's not like we were slobbering on each other at the Galleria. I love the assumptions everyone has made about me, just because I am a strong, gay, liberal woman. I MUST be a negative, horrible person. My only crime is being true to myself and trying too hard to make friends. Shame on you guys for getting SO riled up over my personal opinions and my attempts to help others who are going through what I am. This is a place for us to share and learn, not to be rude to each other. If I want to vent along with others who hate Alabama, let us be! Get on a thread about how freakin' great it is here and leave those who are having a harder time alone! By the way I'll make sure to "get a room" the next time I want to kiss the person I love goodbye.
PDAs between the same sex? Heck, I don't really care for heterosexual PDAs either, when two are stuck together like Siamese twins. If you need to slobber that much all over each other, get a room.
Apologies if you thought I was referring to you specifically. I wasn't, it was directed at people in general. My poorly worded sentence could have been better written as, "If people needs to slobber that much all over each other, they need to get a room."
I must comment to the person who lives in Madison and finds the people unfriendly. I moved to Madison ~9 years ago from Houston where I had lived for ~30 years. When I left Houston I had a few acquaintances but no real friends. Since moving here I have found the people to be very friendly and I have a large circle of friends living in Huntsville and Madison (African American and white) that I socialize with frequently. We go to each other's houses, eat out together, go on day trips, etc. I have been impressed with the friendliness and helpfulness of strangers in stores as well.
I dont live in arab I live in madison but I couldnt agree with you more. We are moving . I moved here from Michigan and I have never meet such rude,unsocialble people in my life I hate it here we are move back up north were the people are friendly and social. Oh and your right no one can drive here.
Although I am from Tennessee, I attended UAH for a year and lived in Madison. Something that is apparent in Madison is that very few people are from Madison originally and Alabama for that matter. I'm surprised so many people gave you the cold shoulder there since so many people there are transplants themselves.
The transplants I met in Madison seemed to fit in and some even pointed out that they would never move back to where they came from. As far as driving, I've seen alot worse than the Huntsville area, but generally people can't drive nationally.
Thanks dentaigirl10! I was wondering if maybe I didn't live in the same place as these other people. Maybe it's just because we are from the north? I have lived in South Alabama for 15 years and loved it! People were so friendly and nice and then I moved here. I grew up in Michigan though. Where are you from in MI? Anyway, I wanted to comment once more about my living here for the past two years. I am out and about alot around here and I never see an African American. I asked someone trustworthy one day how come there isn't any black people in this town and she said "well, they come but realize they are not welcome and move away". I think that is just awful! I don't want to raise my kids here!!!! I think a little diversity is good for everyone. And I am not saying I have not met ANY nice people because I have but in two years I have met many more that are not nice. And I refuse to wait 40 years to be accepted because by then I will be dead and not care anyway. We are moving out of here and I can't hardly stand waiting until it finally happens.
Are you saying you saw no black people in Madison? Madison is 20% black. My neighbor was black and I saw black people at the Wal-Mart and all around town. And they didn't have a look of terror on their faces either.
It's funny that someone from Michigan is preaching about Alabama's racial climate. We all know Michigan has no problems in that department.
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