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I thought they overdid the reception; first an omelet bar, followed immediately by a sit down dinner, then a dozen kinds of dessert. Was that all to make people feel like they had to give bigger gifts?
The thing I don't get about that is by the time you see what kind of wedding a couple has planned, you've already bought and sent the gift, right? With this mindset are you supposed to say, "An omelet bar? I guess we need to send them another check"?
Wedding of Husband’s nephew whose father (DH’s brother) passed away 20 years ago. We’ve seen nephew maybe 3 times in the past 20 years.
Nephew is in his 30’s and it will be marriage to longtime live in GF. They already own a house. Both highly paid professionals. No registry, (so they want cash.) We will fly from Nevada to FL and rent an Airbnb. We will rent a car. Wedding is in an “upscale” barn with a country theme. Day after there is a brunch for family.
We have no idea of what amount of cash to give. We can afford to give; but we have two other similar weddings coming up (stepdaughter’s child and cousin’s child) so we want to kind of do similar gifts for all.
I say $500 is more than generous, my DH thinks $1K.
Suggestions?
Actually, no registry does not mean anything. I was in my 30s when my husband and I married. We didn't register. We actually didn't want gifts. I would find getting money embarrassing. It is considered in poor taste for some reason, to put no gifts please on the invitations. Although maybe it wouldn't be anymore as etiquette seems to be a bygone thing.
This is someone you have seen three times in 20 years? There is no relationship. Maybe your husband is wanting to be generous because of his late brother. It's certainly not wrong to give him 1k. It's not necessary, either. It's also not necessary to give the same amount to each couple getting married. It depends on your relationship with them.
It is considered in poor taste for some reason, to put no gifts please on the invitations. Although maybe it wouldn't be anymore as etiquette seems to be a bygone thing.
We put "Please, no presents; your presence is gift enough." on our invitations twenty-ish years ago. I didn't know that it was consider bad etiquette.
My rule of thumb for weddings is usually $100-$125 per guest (so $200-$250 for me and my husband) at any wedding, regardless of relationship (figure that if I'm invited to a wedding, there's some kind of decent relationship there). For a niece or nephew, I'd probably give $400-$500. The fact that the groom's father (your brother-in-law) is deceased shouldn't really factor into the decision, in my opinion.
We are EXACTLY doing this same thing right now--wedding of nephew.
We have no children and this nephew is son of our favorite sister-in-law, divorced from my brother.
Because it is a plane ride away and we don't do planes anymore (got a super bad virus on a plane couple years before COVID) we are sending more than $500. Why? Because we have a small family, we have the money and we like our nephew even though we have had little contact with him in many years.
People should give what they can afford without causing themselves financial distress. It would cost us a couple thousand to attend in-person and I know they want us to come. Our check will tell them we care.
Wedding of Husband’s nephew whose father (DH’s brother) passed away 20 years ago. We’ve seen nephew maybe 3 times in the past 20 years.
Nephew is in his 30’s and it will be marriage to longtime live in GF. They already own a house. Both highly paid professionals. No registry, (so they want cash.) We will fly from Nevada to FL and rent an Airbnb. We will rent a car. Wedding is in an “upscale” barn with a country theme. Day after there is a brunch for family.
We have no idea of what amount of cash to give. We can afford to give; but we have two other similar weddings coming up (stepdaughter’s child and cousin’s child) so we want to kind of do similar gifts for all.
I say $500 is more than generous, my DH thinks $1K.
Suggestions?
Good LORD. I'd never consider that much $$ for a wedding gift. Certainly not to someone that you have seen "maybe 3 times in the past 20 years". That's crazy. And I would not give cash anyway
I've always thought that the idea that your wedding gift is supposed to offset the cost of the wedding as misguided at best and ridiculous at worst. People's decisions in wedding planning aren't generally public information, and they should spend what they can afford, and invite people because they want them to celebrate, not because they're expecting to profit. Sure, people traditionally want to give a gift, but not everyone on the guest list is going to be in the same financial situation. For some people, their taking time off work and buying an outfit and traveling and booking a hotel to be at the event is going to be the gift.
Wedding of Husband’s nephew whose father (DH’s brother) passed away 20 years ago. We’ve seen nephew maybe 3 times in the past 20 years.
Nephew is in his 30’s and it will be marriage to longtime live in GF. They already own a house. Both highly paid professionals. No registry, (so they want cash.) We will fly from Nevada to FL and rent an Airbnb. We will rent a car. Wedding is in an “upscale” barn with a country theme. Day after there is a brunch for family.
We have no idea of what amount of cash to give. We can afford to give; but we have two other similar weddings coming up (stepdaughter’s child and cousin’s child) so we want to kind of do similar gifts for all.
I say $500 is more than generous, my DH thinks $1K.
Suggestions?
$500?! That's an insane amount.
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Good LORD. I'd never consider that much $$ for a wedding gift. Certainly not to someone that you have seen "maybe 3 times in the past 20 years". That's crazy. And I would not give cash anyway
