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My friend for her second marriage decided she wants to get married on an island in Florida and expects all her family had friends to go. We can’t afford it this year. Plain tickets, hotel, wedding gift etc....her sister has 5 kids and they can’t afford to go either. My other friend did something similar for her 3rd wedding. I think it’s a bit selfish to expect family and friends to all be able to afford all this.
My friend for her second marriage decided she wants to get married on an island in Florida and expects all her family had friends to go. We can’t afford it this year. Plain tickets, hotel, wedding gift etc....her sister has 5 kids and they can’t afford to go either. My other friend did something similar for her 3rd wedding. I think it’s a bit selfish to expect family and friends to all be able to afford all this.
Is there a question in here? Tell her you wish her the best and send her a gift, but tell her you can't afford to attend. Doesn't matter which wedding it is.
My friend for her second marriage decided she wants to get married on an island in Florida and expects all her family had friends to go. We can’t afford it this year. Plain tickets, hotel, wedding gift etc....her sister has 5 kids and they can’t afford to go either. My other friend did something similar for her 3rd wedding. I think it’s a bit selfish to expect family and friends to all be able to afford all this.
Just let them know.
FWIW, I agree with you. It doesn’t matter which wedding it is. Expecting people to travel to fancy places is ridiculous IMO.
Personally I think having a big thing for a 2nd, 3rd, or whatever wedding is a little tacky. Maybe if the first wedding was at a JOP I could understand it but these people that go crazy with subsequent weddings are delusional.
They should just go and do their thing, but not expect others to go along.
This happened to us. When we could least afford it. My niece wanted to get married on the beach in Nantucket, even though they had already gotten married at city hall. Since it was important to my sister, we went, but we weren’t happy about it.
Destination weddings are a dilemma even when it's the first marriage. (I posted my own thread about my nephew's fiancee insisting on being married in Charleston when both families, and much of the extended family, live in Charlotte.) The couple has to understand that not everyone can afford the extra travel costs, vacation time, hotels, etc. You do what you can and if it's out of the question, you tell them, "Sorry- that's not in the budget".
Last week I attended the second wedding of two wonderful people who had both been widowed a few years ago, but in their late 60s. She wore a long dress in pearl grey, it was a full church ceremony and they have a very nice reception afterwards, with over 100 people. They both looked radiant. So, yes, they went all out but it was local. Big difference.
My friend for her second marriage decided she wants to get married on an island in Florida and expects all her family had friends to go. We can’t afford it this year. Plain tickets, hotel, wedding gift etc....her sister has 5 kids and they can’t afford to go either. My other friend did something similar for her 3rd wedding. I think it’s a bit selfish to expect family and friends to all be able to afford all this.
You're really talking about two separate things.
1) Destination Weddings are basically for narcissists. Hey, it's one thing if just the two of you want to stand on a hillside in Italy or a beach in the Caribbean with your beloved and say your vows. It's another thing entirely if you expect that your family and friends show up for the thing. It's expensive, it entails extra travel time, and you're essentially dictating to a entire group of people what their vacation is going to be for the year, versus just flying or driving somewhere and staying at a Hampton Inn for a couple of nights. Plus that kind of travel could impose a serious hardship to older family members. Anyone who has ever had to shepherd an 85-year-old through an airport will know exactly what I mean.
2) If you've been married once, you had your opportunity for the Blow It Out wedding ceremony. Hey, throw a party, but don't try to create the magic of your special day all over again, only with a different co-star.
Personally I think having a big thing for a 2nd, 3rd, or whatever wedding is a little tacky. Maybe if the first wedding was at a JOP I could understand it but these people that go crazy with subsequent weddings are delusional.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver
2) If you've been married once, you had your opportunity for the Blow It Out wedding ceremony. Hey, throw a party, but don't try to create the magic of your special day all over again, only with a different co-star.
WOW there are some judgemental people around here!
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 2 days ago)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Missy2U
WOW there are some judgemental people around here!
But honestly, I agree with them. The first time you vowed to be together til death do you part, and then that didn't work out, and we all get that.
I don't know how many times more friends and family have to stand there and toast to you saying you'll be together till death do you part.
2nd and 3rd and more weddings should be more modest than the first.
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