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as my friend would say,
you're exactly where you are supposed to be, doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing.
otherwise, you'd be somewhere else, doing something else.
Sure, but... If you take this to its logical conclusion, no one would ever do anything different. If you sit around the house doing nothing but saying "If I'm supposed to get married, God will bring me the right person," you are probably never going to get married. Is the "right person" suddenly going to burst in the door while you sit there?
Same for deciding to move, change jobs, etc. Are we supposed to think God doesn't want us to be proactive?
Sure, but... If you take this to its logical conclusion, no one would ever do anything different. If you sit around the house doing nothing but saying "If I'm supposed to get married, God will bring me the right person," you are probably never going to get married. Is the "right person" suddenly going to burst in the door while you sit there?
Same for deciding to move, change jobs, etc. Are we supposed to think God doesn't want us to be proactive?
no, it doesn't say do nothing.
if a person feels moved to do something, then they do it.
if they don't, then they don't.
but that is very different from a set of "shoulds" should i be doing this or that.
there is another saying:
don't should on me.
as far as "what does god want" well then a person includes that in their ongoing dialogue with god. "what does this situation ask of me" "show me what is next for me" "I will to do thy will" "how best can i respond to this" "what do i need to be aware of in this situation" and my favorite caveat which i add for pretty much everything in conversation with god, "--and make it so clear i can't possibly miss it."
and then just show up for your own life and see what opens up along the way in their own daily life. i don't always trust myself to know what to do or to make the best decision. but i do trust that divinity leads me and guides me and divinity can see the big picture of my life whereas i only have a tiny limited view. And i know that divinity ALWAYS has my best interests at heart. so as long as i am in close connection and dialogue with divinity with a whole lot of "show me the way" then that i do trust.
in a nutshell, i trust divinity guiding me and showing me the way, all along the way, at every step, i trust that a whole lot more than i trust what people around me might be telling me i "should" be doing, even the well meaning people.
Last edited by Tzaphkiel; 05-04-2024 at 03:33 PM..
I understand that I have free will and can choose to marry or not. But as a Christian I thought God wants relationship with us and to me a relationship with Him means involving Him in decisions such as whether to marry (as one example). Thinking about it this way, it's only natural (I think) for me to ponder what His will is for me.
Hey Op. It's very hard to take God too literally or mistake the message. After all, aside from Moses, there's not a lot of direct communication. What might have been a no, could also be a not now. It could be a not until x is done and someone in a similar situation is waiting for you. What I do know is God gave us all unique sets of talents and we need to use our unique talents wisely. Perhaps your talents will match with anothers to make both of you increase your respective faith levels.
When i was younger, I thought I was called to make the world better by righting wrongs. I worked in some unorthodox areas and had some interesting perspectives for financial frauds etc. Finally I discovered Deuteronomy and realized I'd been foolish....free will obliged me and Holy Spirit guided me to keep me safe, but there really is much more value (and difficulty) in building good up as opposed to attacking evil. However, the experience did arm me quite well to bring companies safely out of harms way later in life, so perhaps that was the right path...for the time.
I don't think there's an absolute answer to your issue. I think you should consider a relationship, but look carefully for a partner that will help you build, instead of negate, your faith. If that happens, there's really know reason why God would disapprove. It could be as the couple's leader, the student or simply a sum that is more than the individual parts situation. If you want it, I do hope you find someone that can help you grow further in your faith.
Question for you - are you lonely in general, or do you still do life with friends and take occasional trips, or are you involved in some sort of sport group, or garden group, or industry group where you are regularly in relationships with others?
I think I'm moreso lonely in general. But it doesn't happen often because I am an extreme introvert. I became a caregiver to my disabled parent so I am not able to leave her alone; the most I can do is a meal or other short local outing nearby with my 1 close friend (BFF) that lives in the same town as us. I am part of a caregiver group that is online only. So I'd say no, I'm not in relationship with others.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DRob4JC
I'm black also and in many cases (not all) black women would prefer black men - but it sounds like that's not the case for you, which is fine.
I do have certain preferences, but they aren't strong. And I had mentioned race not necessarily being relevant only because I'm not exclusionary with respect to race. Hope that makes sense.
Congrats on having a 30+ year long marriage by the way!
Hey Op. It's very hard to take God too literally or mistake the message. After all, aside from Moses, there's not a lot of direct communication. What might have been a no, could also be a not now. It could be a not until x is done and someone in a similar situation is waiting for you. What I do know is God gave us all unique sets of talents and we need to use our unique talents wisely. Perhaps your talents will match with anothers to make both of you increase your respective faith levels.
When i was younger, I thought I was called to make the world better by righting wrongs. I worked in some unorthodox areas and had some interesting perspectives for financial frauds etc. Finally I discovered Deuteronomy and realized I'd been foolish....free will obliged me and Holy Spirit guided me to keep me safe, but there really is much more value (and difficulty) in building good up as opposed to attacking evil. However, the experience did arm me quite well to bring companies safely out of harms way later in life, so perhaps that was the right path...for the time.
I don't think there's an absolute answer to your issue. I think you should consider a relationship, but look carefully for a partner that will help you build, instead of negate, your faith. If that happens, there's really know reason why God would disapprove. It could be as the couple's leader, the student or simply a sum that is more than the individual parts situation. If you want it, I do hope you find someone that can help you grow further in your faith.
I appreciate you sharing your story and your insights/thoughts.
He is very married, and with many children! That is his devout Catholicism. Marriage is primarily for the production of children.
Marriage is not for the production of children, per se. Rather, marriage exists to provide a stable and legally and ecclesiastically-protected structure in which to care and provide for the children that naturally proceed from it. Marriage exists because children have rights; namely the right to be cared for and educated by their biological father and mother.
I agree. My late fiance and I both desired a relationship, but we were also both OK being on our own and of the mind that we would rather be independent than in the relationships either of us had previously. In fact, one of the best parts of that relationship was that both of us recognized the need for times of having our own space, and we allowed that for ourselves. If I am ever in another relationshio, I would have to have that again.
To answer the title question..."because we got engaged and made plans to marry and then God killed him."
Or so I would have believed at one time. Now I know, as one of our posters said, it's just biology.
MQ, I like to read your posts a lot. I did learn that you lost the love of your life. Although I did not say anything at the time you told everyone on here what happened, I felt very sad about that too. I don't know you in person, but I see that you are a very smart, strong, kind and caring person.
If you believe in God (I believe you did and still do), and if your late fiance believed in God, you may think he is in Heaven now. He does not have to suffer any more pains in this world. Someday, you will see him again. This life on earth is just temporary. If you did not believe in God, and you feel very sad, lonely, you may still think that he does not suffer pains from any kind of sickness any more. Maybe his spirit is flying around and high above watching you and protecting you in some way.
I have to admit that I was baptized, but I'm not a strong believer. Many times, I had/have to ask God for forgiveness because I have doubts. Back to the topic, I believe God gives everyone a free will. You can choose to be single or married as you want. Everything has pros and cons.
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