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We had a new manager a year ago who is toxic. In our annual appriasals we have all put about the setbacks we have experienced. The manager said we should remove some of these things. Why should we, it was a set back.
I stated about a colleague in another team who sent managers an email on 2 occasions saying I had not done a task which involved an external agency when I had which was very stressful. Luckily other colleagues backed me up. The manager said he and another manager spoke to her about her conduct so it can be removed. I don't see why it should, I had done the task and had to spend a lot of time to resolve it with the external agency as they had been ignoring the emails due to staffing issues and it was stressful period.
Then another team are quite lazy passing their work to our team. I stated this has been ongoing for 2 and half years and 2 other managers told them to do their own work but soon as new people start they go back to their old ways. He said it needs to be changed and that we will still be doing their work.
He admitted he has no sector qualificatioms and no management qualification. Yet the rest of the team have sector qualifications. Another manager complained about him and he left as the organisation said they will not do anything about him. A colleague has put a grievance in against him and was told they just need to get along.
He told me in my appraisal I need to speak up more and yet on the 2 occasions I have he looks annoyed and outright dismisses your concerns. Other colleagues have experienced the same.
How do you deal with obstructive managers?
I am actively looking for a new job as I cannot work with someone like this long term.
So you post a lot about toxic people, your negative colleagues, how everyone has wronged you, etc etc. Just pointing that out as it could be that you are the person who has the problem, not everyone else around you. Sorry but just reading through all your posts they are nothing but negativity and problems.
So you post a lot about toxic people, your negative colleagues, how everyone has wronged you, etc etc. Just pointing that out as it could be that you are the person who has the problem, not everyone else around you. Sorry but just reading through all your posts they are nothing but negativity and problems.
I disagree, everyone in the team feels exactly the same way about the manager and other colleagues in other teams have had similar experiences. It is a toxic workplace and I need to get out but need a job lined up.
He told me in my appraisal I need to speak up more and yet on the 2 occasions I have he looks annoyed and outright dismisses your concerns. Other colleagues have experienced the same.
How do you deal with obstructive managers?
I am actively looking for a new job as I cannot work with someone like this long term.
Did it occur to you that the manner in which you "spoke up" was the problem, not that you did? There are constructive and carefully strategized ways to express concern about workplace issues. Then there's whining. No one was a fly on the wall when you brought whatever it was to the attention of this manager so no one here could possibly guess why your feedback was received the way it was. Both parties probably had something to do with the outcome.
One thing I've learned about less-than-perfect managers is how to coexist with them, learn how to ignore them, and also how to neutralize them. Observe and find out what approaches and communication methods/styles tend to achieve the best results. I'll try that before I ditch the entire job hoping to find employment nirvana. Which hardly ever exists. I've often said that I've probably learned more from bad managers than I did from good ones...including how and why NOT to emulate them.
Last edited by Parnassia; 05-10-2024 at 04:26 PM..
No one was a fly on the wall when you brought whatever it was to the attention of this manager so no one here could possibly guess why your feedback was received the way it was. Both parties probably had something to do with the outcome.
One thing I've learned about less-than-perfect managers is how to manage, even neutralize them. Observe and find out what approaches and communication methods/styles tend to achieve the best results.
I've often said that I've probably learned more from bad managers than I did from good ones...including how and why NOT to emulate them.
Thank you for the helpful advice. I think the best outcome is to work out how to navigate communication with this person. He is difficult with most people but there must be a way of diffusing it. The same issue could crop up at another organisation.
OP - Thanks for posting this! I am going through something similar with my boss at work and can't understand how to co-exist with such types of bosses. He keeps setting unrealistic expectations and whole team talks about it behind his back but hardly speaks in front of him. If I try to say a single word, he bullies me in front of every one and slanders my name in other teams too and he has done this with others as well.
I am super stressed out because of his behavior and work pressure and the field I am working in is going through recession so it's difficult to find another job too even though I have been trying. I have no WLB left and it has now started affecting my health.
Just couple of weeks back, he asked us to do 3 months worth of work in 1 month. I along with another co-worker spoke up and told him that it's unrealistic. He didn't mind my co-worker speaking up since he likes her (not in romantic way) and she have been working together for 11+ years (v/s I have been working with them for 6 yrs). I did try giving him an alternate option of some things that we can achieve out of the entire project and those would look better and he yelled at me saying I am setting expectations which is not my job. Later he comes to my office and yells at me again stating it's his job to set expectation and my job is to deliver whatever he asks me to without even saying a word. I am a leader in my field and in my team too. This is just one incident of many. We have process improvements meetings for the team and even if I give an idea, he sometimes twists and turns it to make it negative and then states it in a way which means I am suggesting that idea because it is benefitting me. My entire team understands me well except for him. Sometimes my team stands-up for me/each other, but sometimes they keep quiet since some are also jealous of me.
So you post a lot about toxic people, your negative colleagues, how everyone has wronged you, etc etc. Just pointing that out as it could be that you are the person who has the problem, not everyone else around you. Sorry but just reading through all your posts they are nothing but negativity and problems.
Some people I just start to ignore, without actually using the site feature. Grace84 is one of those people.
OP - Thanks for posting this! I am going through something similar with my boss at work and can't understand how to co-exist with such types of bosses.
Sometimes my team stands-up for me/each other, but sometimes they keep quiet since some are also jealous of me.
Some people have a good skill on dealing with these managers. I have found my team members get hostility from him when they speak out so they rarely speak out now. He asks how everyone is doing or any issues at team meetings and no-one says anything as he only asks as a tick box exercise. If you say anything he is very hostile.
I disagree, everyone in the team feels exactly the same way about the manager and other colleagues in other teams have had similar experiences. It is a toxic workplace and I need to get out but need a job lined up.
Of course you disagree, you clearly cannot see that you are most likely the problem here, not the world around you. Just looking through your posting history you've posted dozens of complaints here alone, I can't imagine what it's like in the "real world" for you. This not a personal attack either, this is an observation based on all of your various posts here and elsewhere that talk about how no one at work likes you, how you were blocked from someone on social media, how you feel like you have too much work, etc. etc.
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Did it occur to you that the manner in which you "spoke up" was the problem, not that you did? There are constructive and carefully strategized ways to express concern about workplace issues. Then there's whining. No one was a fly on the wall when you brought whatever it was to the attention of this manager so no one here could possibly guess why your feedback was received the way it was. Both parties probably had something to do with the outcome.