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Old 11-14-2023, 05:17 PM
 
1 posts, read 2,512 times
Reputation: 10

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I’m a store manager at a retail outlet mall and recently, I wrote up an employee over harassment, even though the behavior doesn’t meet the legal definition of harassment, and now my employee doesn’t like me. I don’t understand what I did wrong.

My assistant store manager came to me that she and who I will call employee A were talking about gay rights. Within that conversation, employee A stated that employee B made her uncomfortable a year prior because employee B made a comment that the idea of same-sex relationships are weird. Also, in that conversation was another person, who I will call employee C. I was shocked and horrified by this revelation and asked my assistant why neither employee A and C came to me right away about this highly inappropriate discussion. My assistant store manager told me that employee B made both employee A and C horribly scared of working with B, even though A and B closed multiple times together, that they're scared for their life and that must've been why they didn't say anything until a year later, employee A had been ruminating about the event since a year ago, and that employee B must've gotten up in their faces and intimidated A and C to not speak up.

Because of my training as a store manager, I’m supposed to take every harassment complaint seriously and investigate the claims because I'm legally required to. If not, me and my assistant manager can be fired from the company for knowing about this incident and not doing anything about it. I talk to employee A, who confirms the allegations, but she kept telling us that it happened a year ago, that she's over it, and that it's nothing and the assistant manager didn't have her consent to report it. I then call employee C who gave me more information that employee B asked employee C's views on the political landscape and asked if C believed in God. I then investigate harassment and sexual harassment under the employee handbook. Unfortunately, neither employee A and C made it known to employee B that the behavior was making them uncomfortable, there was no repeated discussions after this incident, employee B doesn’t have a record of anything and has been a stellar employee, I spoke to all my other employees and no one has said that employee B say anything harassing since then or before, employee B has treated everyone kindly and friendly, this incident occurred a year prior, and with that, it wouldn't fall under legal harassment according to harassment laws federally and in the employee handbook.

Even though the behavior and incident are a one-off, I still find it totally inappropriate to discuss politics at work and ask if someone believes in God (!), and employee B should know better than to ask and start this type of discussion. I'm also so angry that employee B made both A and C scared for their lives that they couldn't bring this up until a year later. I must protect them from employee B since B must've intimidated them in some way. I then write employee B up for harassment, even though it doesn’t fit in the legal definition of harassment. I also want to cover myself as a store manager and have a documented case against this worker to make sure employee B doesn’t do it again. I was going to fire employee B, but I decided against it because she does great work, even though I don't want a bigoted, homophobic member on my team, so I write up employee B without getting her side because I already know everything that was said to me is true and I've got the proof and witnesses.

When I spoke to employee B, she admitted to some of the allegations (saying that same-sex relationships are weird), but she stated that she never asked C about her religion. Employee B said that she only made a remark about how people, who attend church and CCD class, were bullies to her and she didn't understand why they attended CCD class since they're hypocrites. I don't believe a word of what B says, and I say that this is beginning to be a she-said-she-said case, and that I believe employee C's words over B's. After all why would C lie to me? Well, employee B didn’t take it well and quit on me. I don’t see what I did wrong. What did I do wrong?
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Old 11-14-2023, 05:33 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,565 posts, read 47,614,734 times
Reputation: 48158
Quote:
Originally Posted by managerboss1 View Post
I’m a store manager at a retail outlet mall and recently, I wrote up an employee over harassment, even though the behavior doesn’t meet the legal definition of harassment, and now my employee doesn’t like me. I don’t understand what I did wrong.
This is it in a nutshell, and you answered your own question!
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Old 11-14-2023, 05:56 PM
 
120 posts, read 103,783 times
Reputation: 152
Bring all the parties involved asked if they can't keep the subject to their self keep it to yourself or leave.
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Old 11-14-2023, 07:52 PM
 
12,104 posts, read 23,262,756 times
Reputation: 27236
Let's see, you assumed facts that you can't substantiate, you overreacted, and you only addressed one offender. Why would she want to stay there?
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Old 11-14-2023, 07:54 PM
 
Location: Central Virginia
6,556 posts, read 8,381,935 times
Reputation: 18781
Dejavu

We’ve discussed this exact topic before, right?
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Old 11-15-2023, 04:21 AM
 
860 posts, read 1,336,410 times
Reputation: 1680
Quote:
Originally Posted by managerboss1 View Post
I’m a store manager at a retail outlet mall and recently, I wrote up an employee over harassment, even though the behavior doesn’t meet the legal definition of harassment, and now my employee doesn’t like me. I don’t understand what I did wrong.

My assistant store manager came to me that she and who I will call employee A were talking about gay rights. Within that conversation, employee A stated that employee B made her uncomfortable a year prior because employee B made a comment that the idea of same-sex relationships are weird. Also, in that conversation was another person, who I will call employee C. I was shocked and horrified by this revelation and asked my assistant why neither employee A and C came to me right away about this highly inappropriate discussion. My assistant store manager told me that employee B made both employee A and C horribly scared of working with B, even though A and B closed multiple times together, that they're scared for their life and that must've been why they didn't say anything until a year later, employee A had been ruminating about the event since a year ago, and that employee B must've gotten up in their faces and intimidated A and C to not speak up.

Because of my training as a store manager, I’m supposed to take every harassment complaint seriously and investigate the claims because I'm legally required to. If not, me and my assistant manager can be fired from the company for knowing about this incident and not doing anything about it. I talk to employee A, who confirms the allegations, but she kept telling us that it happened a year ago, that she's over it, and that it's nothing and the assistant manager didn't have her consent to report it. I then call employee C who gave me more information that employee B asked employee C's views on the political landscape and asked if C believed in God. I then investigate harassment and sexual harassment under the employee handbook. Unfortunately, neither employee A and C made it known to employee B that the behavior was making them uncomfortable, there was no repeated discussions after this incident, employee B doesn’t have a record of anything and has been a stellar employee, I spoke to all my other employees and no one has said that employee B say anything harassing since then or before, employee B has treated everyone kindly and friendly, this incident occurred a year prior, and with that, it wouldn't fall under legal harassment according to harassment laws federally and in the employee handbook.

Even though the behavior and incident are a one-off, I still find it totally inappropriate to discuss politics at work and ask if someone believes in God (!), and employee B should know better than to ask and start this type of discussion. I'm also so angry that employee B made both A and C scared for their lives that they couldn't bring this up until a year later. I must protect them from employee B since B must've intimidated them in some way. I then write employee B up for harassment, even though it doesn’t fit in the legal definition of harassment. I also want to cover myself as a store manager and have a documented case against this worker to make sure employee B doesn’t do it again. I was going to fire employee B, but I decided against it because she does great work, even though I don't want a bigoted, homophobic member on my team, so I write up employee B without getting her side because I already know everything that was said to me is true and I've got the proof and witnesses.

When I spoke to employee B, she admitted to some of the allegations (saying that same-sex relationships are weird), but she stated that she never asked C about her religion. Employee B said that she only made a remark about how people, who attend church and CCD class, were bullies to her and she didn't understand why they attended CCD class since they're hypocrites. I don't believe a word of what B says, and I say that this is beginning to be a she-said-she-said case, and that I believe employee C's words over B's. After all why would C lie to me? Well, employee B didn’t take it well and quit on me. I don’t see what I did wrong. What did I do wrong?
Wow you are a terrible manager. I’m glad I don’t work for you.
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Old 11-15-2023, 07:06 AM
 
9,875 posts, read 14,112,458 times
Reputation: 21762
Saying that you think same sex relationships are weird and asking if someone believes in god are, in no way, harassment. Full stop.


Are these topics that people should discuss at work? Probably not. But you also shouldn't be discussing that medical procedure you had last week, and people do that all the time, too.


You wrote someone up for something they clearly didn't do, so they quit. And you are surprised?


You are a horrible leader and should be fired.
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Old 11-15-2023, 08:02 AM
 
5,655 posts, read 3,139,106 times
Reputation: 14361
A and C were afraid for their LIFE? Seriously? That's pretty dramatic. LOL
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Old 11-15-2023, 08:16 AM
 
Location: In Little Ping's Maple Dictatorship
333 posts, read 153,016 times
Reputation: 877
Quote:
Originally Posted by SnazzyB View Post
A and C were afraid for their LIFE? Seriously? That's pretty dramatic. LOL
I was about to post the same thing. It sounds like A and C are a couple of drama queens.
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Old 11-15-2023, 08:18 AM
 
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
44,551 posts, read 81,085,957 times
Reputation: 57744
A more appropriate action in this case would have been to announce to all of your workers, without mentioning any names, that discussion of sexual identification and religion are not appropriate in the workplace because it can be offensive to others.

I would consider the result, employee leaving, to be fortunate. This could have blown up into a full-on HR investigation or even a lawsuit.
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