Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Not rich but not poor - the last wedding I gave $100 - the cost of the 2 dinners. If they have a home and good jobs - they don't need it - your attendance should be more than enough.
Agreed. I usually give $100 at weddings. I feel that's plenty generous.
I get they want to make money back but it's not a damn business.
I've always thought that the idea that your wedding gift is supposed to offset the cost of the wedding as misguided at best and ridiculous at worst. People's decisions in wedding planning aren't generally public information, and they should spend what they can afford, and invite people because they want them to celebrate, not because they're expecting to profit. Sure, people traditionally want to give a gift, but not everyone on the guest list is going to be in the same financial situation. For some people, their taking time off work and buying an outfit and traveling and booking a hotel to be at the event is going to be the gift.
Agreed. I usually give $100 at weddings. I feel that's plenty generous.
I get they want to make money back but it's not a damn business.
Leave it to our modern culture to monetize every damn thing, even a wedding.
Here's a thought: no money. In their 30s and already set in their own home and professional careers? Give them a special and unique gift that they will hopefully use and enjoy together as a married couple. Could be a tangible item or a gift card to a restaurant.
Nephew is in his 30’s and it will be marriage to longtime live in GF. They already own a house. Both highly paid professionals. No registry, (so they want cash.) We will fly from Nevada to FL and rent an Airbnb. We will rent a car. Wedding is in an “upscale” barn with a country theme. Day after there is a brunch for family.
All of this is completely irrelevant information.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WorldKlas
We can afford to give; but we have two other similar weddings coming up (stepdaughter’s child and cousin’s child) so we want to kind of do similar gifts for all.
This is actually relevant. Trying to keep it fair amongst the family is a good goal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by skeddy
At minimum pay for the cost of your attendance.
The cost of the wedding should have zero influence on the amount of your gift. Period. You are an attendee at a party they are throwing. You are not obliged to fund their party.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
I've always thought that the idea that your wedding gift is supposed to offset the cost of the wedding as misguided at best and ridiculous at worst. People's decisions in wedding planning aren't generally public information, and they should spend what they can afford, and invite people because they want them to celebrate, not because they're expecting to profit. Sure, people traditionally want to give a gift, but not everyone on the guest list is going to be in the same financial situation. For some people, their taking time off work and buying an outfit and traveling and booking a hotel to be at the event is going to be the gift.
ok, I agree with most of this post. Yes, you do not need to offset any of the party costs. And, yes, you are not required to give a gift. And, certainly, if you are in a tough financial situation, travel costs alone might prohibit also buying a gift.
BUT, if you decide to buy yourself an outfit in lieu of a gift for a wedding you are attending, that's a selfish choice.
When I got married, I wasn't looking for wedding gifts, and I wasn't expecting cash gifts to pay for the wedding. I invited people to come celebrate with us, and be happy for us. Truly, THAT was my bottom line. Anything and everything else was icing on the cake.
So...I say buy that outfit if you want to. Give us a pretty card with heartfelt congratulations. OR...give us $500 and know our eyes would've bugged out of our heads at the amazing generosity. It would've been greatly appreciated...and unexpected.
Opinions about gift size vary from region to region.
When we married in California, we hosted a reception we could afford, to show how we valued our friends and family. People gave us gifts they could afford, and we appreciated them.
But when my sil married on Long Island, her NY groom said things like, "they better cover their plate," meaning the gifts should cost at least as much as the bride and groom paid for the reception.
I thought they overdid the reception; first an omelet bar, followed immediately by a sit down dinner, then a dozen kinds of dessert. Was that all to make people feel like they had to give bigger gifts?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
