Thank-you notes - What is the norm and what is considered rude? (rings, fighting)
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So, I have recently attended two weddings and have yet to receive thank-you notes for the gifts. When I got married (15 years ago), I wrote out and sent my thank-you notes within 5 days of the wedding. I know that time frame is OVERLY aggressive, but what is considered appropriate? One wedding was 5 months ago, one was 3.........
(oh, and I know they received the gift, because they cashed the check within two weeks of the wedding...)
So, I have recently attended two weddings and have yet to receive thank-you notes for the gifts. When I got married (15 years ago), I wrote out and sent my thank-you notes within 5 days of the wedding. I know that time frame is OVERLY aggressive, but what is considered appropriate? One wedding was 5 months ago, one was 3.........
(oh, and I know they received the gift, because they cashed the check within two weeks of the wedding...)
A lot of people think hand written thank yous are very old fashioned. Was there any sort of thanks, like an email, or acknowledgement in person?
In any case, I think 6 months is around the norm, and some people will say a year. I knew one woman who insisted that you didn’t need to send a TY until you used the gift. Vehemently insisted. As in trying to tell her otherwise would cause a huge fight.
Been married for 36 years, and I did ours in less than a week, also.
A lot of people think hand written thank yous are very old fashioned. Was there any sort of thanks, like an email, or acknowledgement in person?
In any case, I think 6 months is around the norm, and some people will say a year. I knew one woman who insisted that you didn’t need to send a TY until you used the gift. Vehemently insisted. As in trying to tell her otherwise would cause a huge fight.
Been married for 36 years, and I did ours in less than a week, also.
I would expect a TY note within a month or two of the wedding. And I find the pre-printed, generic, unsigned notes that are sent out by the printing company to be highly unsatisfactory.
I would expect a TY note within a month or two of the wedding. And I find the pre-printed, generic, unsigned notes that are sent out by the printing company to be highly unsatisfactory.
But I realize I am fighting a losing battle.
It really is.
I went to a wedding 38 years ago of a good friend, and she had these adorable scrolls wound up in a little wedding ring on every place setting — remember Cracker Jack rings? Like those. A really nice poem about thanking their friends and family for sharing their day — very touching.
And it was the first time we had seen these things.
She told me later she was so upset that people didn’t understand those were the Thank Yous. And then her mother made her write thank yous...and she bought a preprinted fill in the blank of the item TY.
I didn’t care, in fact I thought it was funny, because she had yelled about what ETIQUETTE says for months as she planned her wedding. Why does everyone who scream about etiquette not really know about etiquette?
My family is kind of strict on TYs. I send the kids checks for birthdays and Christmas, and I get notes back. Mom may write the sentiment, but the crayon drawing is all theirs. Kind of nice...
So, I have recently attended two weddings and have yet to receive thank-you notes for the gifts. When I got married (15 years ago), I wrote out and sent my thank-you notes within 5 days of the wedding. I know that time frame is OVERLY aggressive, but what is considered appropriate? One wedding was 5 months ago, one was 3.........
Were you writing thank you notes during your honeymoon?
I don't think most people do that.
I've received thank you cards up to six months after a wedding or shower. But I frankly don't care when they send it out.
My family is kind of strict on TYs. I send the kids checks for birthdays and Christmas, and I get notes back. Mom may write the sentiment, but the crayon drawing is all theirs. Kind of nice...
These days, I may not write a note, but I always acknowledge it with the sender. My mother was very strict on TYs too. Unfortunately that didn’t trickle down to the next generation. I’m always left wondering if they got their gifts or not. Still waiting on a wedding thank you from October. They cashed the check 2 days after the wedding.
When I got married the first time in 1974, a lot of people sent presents beforehand. I wrote my TY within 2 days, to keep up with them. Got several compliments on that. I still feel bad about a gift received at the reception that had no card. Two hand towels and a nice ceramic soap dish. If one of you sent it, my sincere thanks!
Thank you notes are becoming less and less common. So for some, I'm willing to overlook not receiving a thank you note. For other's, I'll never give them another thing.
Were you writing thank you notes during your honeymoon?
Didn't go on a honeymoon.
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Solly says — Be nice!
