Why Do Guests Think THEY Call The Shots? (rings, invite, fiance)

[Jdawg8181]

So we are only inviting people in relationships with guests, to keep costs down.


My fiancé's sister is coming with her 3 kids who we've happily invited but we did not invite her with a guest b/c she is not with anyone. His sister does not have any money so she flat out said she is not giving us a wedding gift. Additionally, 2 of her kids are under the age of 12. We are offering kids meals for any kids under 12 ... she chose the adult meals for her youngest which are about 4 times the price of the kids meal. I don't see why a 4 year old needs to eat a $160 plate of fish.


I'm just annoying b/c we are essentially paying for 5 people and getting nothing in return. My fiancé doesn't know the person she is bringing as a guest and feels a bit uncomfortable about it. I said I really didn't care do what he wants b/c it's his sister ... but I don't think it's right to come empty-handed, order your 4 year old an adult meal when a kids meal is available and then INSIST on bringing a guest who we don't know.


Wrong or right? I think my fiancé is going to tell her she can bring someone to just get her to shut up but we both feel as a guest she shouldn't be making demands like that ... she isn't the one paying.

[maciesmom]

I can understand some annoyance at the adult meal but....this....

...and getting nothing in return..

Guests are not invited with the expectation of receiving a gift. Of any amount. Your guests are invited because they mean something to you and you want to share this important event and your happiness with them.

That is all.

[HokieFan]

Originally Posted by Jdawg8181

We are offering kids meals for any kids under 12 ... she chose the adult meals for her youngest which are about 4 times the price of the kids meal. I don't see why a 4 year old needs to eat a $160 plate of fish.

Do you have a fish option for kids? If so, just change it to the kid's meal.

Originally Posted by Jdawg8181

I'm just annoying b/c we are essentially paying for 5 people and getting nothing in return.

That's the wrong attitude to have.

Originally Posted by Jdawg8181

My fiancé doesn't know the person she is bringing as a guest and feels a bit uncomfortable about it.

Your fiancé needs to tell her that only spouses or significant others are invited as a +1.

You're right about some things, you're wrong about others. Nothing brings out family drama like weddings and funerals.

[Jdawg8181]

Originally Posted by HokieFan

Do you have a fish option for kids? If so, just change it to the kid's meal.



That's the wrong attitude to have.



Your fiancé needs to tell her that only spouses or significant others are invited as a +1.

You're right about some things, you're wrong about others. Nothing brings out family drama like weddings and funerals.

No there is no option for kids fish. Her kids are the only kids coming .. we picked the kids meals because that is what she initially told us they would want. Then when they RSVP'd they apparently chose the adult meal options ... as a guest you don't get to make demands.

[HokieFan]

Originally Posted by Jdawg8181

No there is no option for kids fish. Her kids are the only kids coming .. we picked the kids meals because that is what she initially told us they would want. Then when they RSVP'd they apparently chose the adult meal options ... as a guest you don't get to make demands.

Then you should just change it to the kids meal, and don't mention it.

[Katnan]

Originally Posted by HokieFan

Then you should just change it to the kids meal, and don't mention it.

This. They get kids meals. It's the easiest solution that also eliminates resentment.

[evening sun]

It is wrong to expect a gift in return for an invite.

However, 4 year olds should get a kids meal & let her know it, does she want the kids to get an adult meal, so she can eat it? Most 4 year olds would far prefer a kids meal anyhow. If your fiance is agreeable, then enforce the spouses & s.o. rule. But no point in making a fuss over one plate of food.

[fleetiebelle]

Maybe she's a little tacky, but this is your fiance's sister. Her gift to you is her and her children's attendance at a momentous occasion intended to bring loved ones together to celebrate the creation of a new family.

[Sydney123]

I don't know why anyone.... child or adult would need to eat a 160.00 fish plate. Lol

[Missy2U]

Just tell her that there is no option for the kids under 12 - the option is for adults. The kids get kids meals.