Relocating Grandma?

[winecohusky]

Originally Posted by StealthRabbit

Look for housing near the Firstenburg Center (It has a library too) and is near frequent bus service.
https://www.cityofvancouver.us/firstenburg

Marshall Center (near downtown) might be a second choice, since they have more senior activites.

Thanks for the transportation links. Whole house fans are incredible!

[Jane917]

Originally Posted by winecohusky

Thank you.
She has said she will give up and die if she has to move into a senior facility and is even leery of 55+ neighborhoods. Her mother said the same. The time eventually came when I couldn't help grandma 24/7 so she moved into a private home care situation and only lasted a few months. My mom has friends in really nice places in Seattle, but they are $8-10,000/month. If it comes to needing more help, she'll have to suck it up in the heat with me and we'll look into private night care. Can't be more than $10,000 a month, right?

The CCRC I am referring to in Lacey looks like anything but a 55+ community.

I am sorry you are in the position you are in. It can be exhausting. I am so fortunate to have had parents who wanted to make it easy on us. Toward the end it was mom’s dementia that made it more difficult, but when that got to the last stages it actually made decision making a bit easier. One thing Dad did before he died was to put the family trust in my brother’s and my names. My mom never even knew she really did not have a cent.

Your mom sounds like a strong independent woman.

[StealthRabbit]

Originally Posted by winecohusky

Thank you.
She has said she will give up and die if she has to move into a senior facility and is even leery of 55+ neighborhoods. Her mother said the same. The time eventually came ... Can't be more than $10,000 a month, right?

sounds familiar.

My mom did some trial runs on 3 facitlities when the need became imminent, but refused all , (always with a private cottage and garage just for her) and eventually decided to stay put in her monster house, large enough for a caregiver family and herself (and never bump into each other), but...

Situation worsened, (FT oxygen and critical not to run out...), a few scares, driving herself to hospital at 3AM.

Eventually she chose a Light assisted living place and called it her 'city apartment'. Spent the night there (FT supervison), and each monrning had them bundle her up in her car, with oxygen devices and she would drive to her house during the day. Covid put an end to her going out (NM regs). so she has been stuck, car still sits outside her room, with flat tires and dead battery (She tried to drive herself to the hospital last week).

Good Grief, beyond stubborn, beyond reasonable, beyond any imagination of the pain and hassle she causes all others.

But... someday it will be all over

I do hospice volunteering, so I see this type of thing often. Stubborn until they can no longer make the decisions. Some get tired and become placid, some fight to their last breath. Gotta just love 'em all and be honored to help () usher them through the end of their journey. So we all will go, someday soon.