anyone know a good place to meet some single women (desperate here)

[canudigit]

Ok, I've been following this thread silently, mostly just out of curiosity, but now I have to know. how do you live and work in Toledo without a car or drivers license? Do you take TARTA everywhere or hitch rides with friends?

I'm not picking on you, just honestly curious because if there is one thing Toledo is not, is a city where one can get anywhere easily without a car. And not having a car or drivers license, well, that's something that you probably should have revealed early on in this conversation with Tobias C, because that is probably a large part of not having luck with women, especially in a city as unforgiving to anyone without a car to get around in as Toledo is.

I sincerely wish you well, it sounds like you've had some hard knocks. I'm sure the perfect woman is out there somewhere, it's just a matter of finding her. Don't give up!

[markn96]

Originally Posted by canudigit

Ok, I've been following this thread silently, mostly just out of curiosity, but now I have to know. how do you live and work in Toledo without a car or drivers license? Do you take TARTA everywhere or hitch rides with friends?

I'm not picking on you, just honestly curious because if there is one thing Toledo is not, is a city where one can get anywhere easily without a car. And not having a car or drivers license, well, that's something that you probably should have revealed early on in this conversation with Tobias C, because that is probably a large part of not having luck with women, especially in a city as unforgiving to anyone without a car to get around in as Toledo is.

I sincerely wish you well, it sounds like you've had some hard knocks. I'm sure the perfect woman is out there somewhere, it's just a matter of finding her. Don't give up!

live with my younger brother, so he basically drives me anywhere. don’t have any friends.

really? its that taboo to not have a drivers license here? and how are any of these women supposed to know that i don’t drive or not? i only cold approached one.

[Tobias C]

Honestly, I would kinda agree with canudigit about having a car. This isnt a big cosmopolitan city with super walkable neighborhoods and excellent transit. Its entirely plausible that you may meet someone who will have some kind of feeling about you if you dont have your own ways of getting around. Maybe thats petty and someone you wouldnt want to entertain anyway (i would probably agree)...but im just sayin. In a typical midsize midwestern city, someone may look at you like you arent "of means" or dont have your **** together or whatever, regardless of whether thats actually true or not. Maybe it hasnt presented itself as an issue yet, but it might be something to at least be a little cognizant of in the future.

Anyway. I really dont have good advice. I dont have much dating experience/expertise since ive been with my wife the majority of my adult life, and before that I didnt try to date seriously. Im an anxious person so I personally would always feel weird approaching women in a "hey id like to get to know you" kinda way. Im uber conscious of being non-threatening so I would probably never shoot my shot, so to speak. I suppose I would probably just hang out places like the park or a coffee shop or club often and hope I run into the same person multiple times to where they become familiar with me. Hopefully you are a little more assertive than me. Unfortunately, its not the simplest thing to just go hang out places and approach people, lest you invade a sensitive persons space.

I know you havent had luck with it, but I honestly cant see a better solution than online dating. My reserved self, I would probably try to make connections with people on Twitter where I tend to talk to people about things of mutual interest. Just be friendly and conversational with no outwardly noticable agenda out the gate, and if they seemed like someone I was into, and they were near me geographically, ask if theyd wanna meet up and hang out sometime.

haha, I dont know, this stuff clearly cant be easy.

[markn96]

Originally Posted by Tobias C

Honestly, I would kinda agree with canudigit about having a car. This isnt a big cosmopolitan city with super walkable neighborhoods and excellent transit. Its entirely plausible that you may meet someone who will have some kind of feeling about you if you dont have your own ways of getting around. Maybe thats petty and someone you wouldnt want to entertain anyway (i would probably agree)...but im just sayin. In a typical midsize midwestern city, someone may look at you like you arent "of means" or dont have your **** together or whatever, regardless of whether thats actually true or not. Maybe it hasnt presented itself as an issue yet, but it might be something to at least be a little cognizant of in the future.

Anyway. I really dont have good advice. I dont have much dating experience/expertise since ive been with my wife the majority of my adult life, and before that I didnt try to date seriously. Im an anxious person so I personally would always feel weird approaching women in a "hey id like to get to know you" kinda way. Im uber conscious of being non-threatening so I would probably never shoot my shot, so to speak. I suppose I would probably just hang out places like the park or a coffee shop or club often and hope I run into the same person multiple times to where they become familiar with me. Hopefully you are a little more assertive than me. Unfortunately, its not the simplest thing to just go hang out places and approach people, lest you invade a sensitive persons space.

I know you havent had luck with it, but I honestly cant see a better solution than online dating. My reserved self, I would probably try to make connections with people on Twitter where I tend to talk to people about things of mutual interest. Just be friendly and conversational with no outwardly noticable agenda out the gate, and if they seemed like someone I was into, and they were near me geographically, ask if theyd wanna meet up and hang out sometime.

haha, I dont know, this stuff clearly cant be easy.

well if i got a number from someone the first time, shouldn’t be a problem the 2nd. only this time i would like a woman to be honest and not be a total ***** and say why she wasn’t interested, instead of not saying anything at all. its just really rude and condescending.

as for invading peoples personal space, yeah that would be if you are unattractive. you would be labled as a creep, pervert, and so forth. but good looking guys have options. i am unfortunately not one of those guys.

[Srszee]

Just a woman's point of view from reading this thread & responses, but I agree with the people who said to work on "you." If a guy told me he lived with his brother and had his brother drive him around, I'm thinking big red flag--not financially or emotionally stable. You come across as being desperate, at least in this thread, so if you come across this way in person, you're not going to get a good response. Your comment about average guys with women who are out of their league says a lot about your perspective--it's about personality, compatibility, companionship, common interests--not looks. You say you have no hobbies and don't care to--again that's a huge red flag to me because I have a lot of things I like to do and I would want a partner to share in those things. Your victim mentality isn't playing well for you. Not trying to be mean, but just stating my honest observations.