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I'm considering moving to South Carolina, likely Charleston, and starting a business focused on selling traditional Southern foodstuffs. In doing my homework I've discovered many cultural differences between the South and the rest of the country.
It's troubling to see so many of my fellow Yankees moving down south only to discover they've made a mistake and retreat north or west. I'd like to avoid the same mistake by making good impressions on the people I meet, socialize, and do business with. To my way of thinking, I've found South Carolina to be the state with the richest southern culture and I want to avoid making mistakes.
What can I do to be a polite and respectful person in southern society? While I may always be a Yankee, perhaps I can aspire to being considered a copperhead . I'm from a formerly rural farming town in upstate New York (where we don't have an NYC accent), and am generally saddened to see the manners of the NYC transplants who have moved up here. I'd like to avoid being considered as someone like that were I to move to South Carolina.
If you would be so kind, please tell me what I, and others contemplating the move, can do to avoid being a rude and ugly Yankee. I'm certain there are behaviors that we take for granted which might be misinterpreted. I'd like to make any move a pleasant experience and contribute positively to the community I live in.
Thank you for your generous assistance and consideration.
NEVER talk about how good it was back home!
NEVER say "Back where I come from, we did it this way...."
NEVER make comments about the way people drive in the snow!
NEVER say "You think THIS is cold? Back where I come from...."
ALWAYS be respectful of local customs and accents.
ALWAYS be friendly and make comments like "I can't believe how NICE it is here" or "People are so nice and friendly here in the south!"
The above might be silly and a little too obvious but most of the people that can't "assimilate" are the ones that bring too much baggage with them and can't seem to 'move on'.
If you are friendly and respectful, you won't have a problem.
As simple as it sounds, be respectful of things you don't always understand. Be adventurous and try new things without allowing your previous likes/dislikes to influence you. If you are willing to meet me halfway without crying and moaning about it, I will certainly forgive you for coming all the way.
Often we joke about silly things only to find someone takes them too serious. Imagine if I came to your neighborhood and turned up my nose at your table of traditional favorites because they did not look as good as what I grew up with.
Just because something is different, doesn't mean it is bad. Some things wont be as good, others will be better.....just like back home. Do you like Scrapple? You wont find it here. Is that a problem? If you make it a problem it will stay a problem. I like Texas BBQ, but it is hard to find outside of Central Texas. I haven't given up on all these pig lovers in the deep south because they do make really good pies and veggie dishes.
Stay tolerant of the traditions, no matter how silly they appear at first. Learn what is behind them and many of them will become quite quaint.
NEVER talk about how good it was back home!
NEVER say "Back where I come from, we did it this way...."
NEVER make comments about the way people drive in the snow!
NEVER say "You think THIS is cold? Back where I come from...."
ALWAYS be respectful of local customs and accents.
ALWAYS be friendly and make comments like "I can't believe how NICE it is here" or "People are so nice and friendly here in the south!"
The above might be silly and a little too obvious but most of the people that can't "assimilate" are the ones that bring too much baggage with them and can't seem to 'move on'.
If you are friendly and respectful, you won't have a problem.
This is pretty good advice coming from someone who has been in NC for 6 years. This isn't where you're from, things are different, some good some bad, but that's it. Myself and some of my native friends joke about the things in this list, but nothing more.
Since you asked - I'll give my honest opinion, so please don't take this the wrong way.
There is a perception among southerners (including myself) that northerners (males, in particular) sometimes have a problem with out-talking people, or trying to talk over them. Compared to us, they talk more, they talk faster, and they talk louder. I sometimes feel that I'm being 'talked down to' when I'm speaking with a northerner. I just smile, nod, and end the conversation.
Since I presume you'll frequently be talking with traditional, old-fashioned southerners, my recommendation would be to not live up to these stereotypes. Smile, speak slowly, and be sure to listen (as opposed to thinking of what you'll say next) - I think people will be more likely to appreciate occasional wit, rather than an endless barrage of facts, opinions, and statements.
Again, I'm not trying to offend anyone, this is just a trend I've seen.
My initial thought for this question was - stay home. But then I realized that isn't nice and it's not fair to deny anyone a piece of our pie. We do pretty much everything slower here. We eat slower, we definately talk slower, we shop slower, we drive slower. Not many people here get in a hurry. And we DO NOT like to be rushed. Not in the store or on the road or in the middle of a sentence. We do not talk loud and take offense when someone speaks too loudly to us. And you might want to get used to being called a yankee. That's what most southerners call yankees. Eventually we will get to know you and learn your name, but until then, you will be simply 'yankee'. And when we talk about you to other people, we will call you 'yankee' and they will know exactly who you are. And whatever you do, don't make fun of how we deal with snow. We know it may only be 0.5" of snow that won't even accumulate, but we have to empty the store shelves just in case we are "snowed in" for a few days. We see so little snow, we just don't know any better. The south is a wonderful place to live. I cannot imagine living anywhere else. And you are a better man (woman) than I, because I would NEVER pick up and move to a yankee state. Since you seem willing to put forth an effort into fitting in, I'm sure you will be very happy down here.
Yes, us northerners are fast paced. I dont know why we are in such a hurry I was just born here. One of the things I loved about SC was the slower pace of things. Even my 10 year old noticed after 5 days of vacationing in NMB he hadn't heard a car horn. While crossing the street in NMB cars would just stop in the middle of the street to let us cross, we would stand there looking stupid because in Md you would get run over if you looked like you was going to step out into the street in front of car, and if if you stopped in the middle of the street to let somebody cross you would get cursed out and beeped at. I don't know why I just live here. We are moving to SC because we love the southern hospitality, we love the slower pace of things. We don't want to change a thing, and probably wont even think about how it was where we come from, if that's the case we might as well stay where we are.
And you might want to get used to being called a yankee. That's what most southerners call yankees. Eventually we will get to know you and learn your name, but until then, you will be simply 'yankee'. And when we talk about you to other people, we will call you 'yankee' and they will know exactly who you are.
I think you're exagerrating. I agree that he should get used to the term "Yankee", and try to think of it objectively and not as an insult. However, I don't think people will just address him as 'Yankee', and I've definitely never heard anyone use the word as a title.. like "Hey Yankee, good to meet you." Unless you're trying to insult someone, I can't see that being said.
People might say that he is a yankee, like "Even though Joe is a Yankee, he likes college football."
And you might want to get used to being called a yankee. That's what most southerners call yankees. Eventually we will get to know you and learn your name, but until then, you will be simply 'yankee'. And when we talk about you to other people, we will call you 'yankee' and they will know exactly who you are.
Yes, you may hear a lot of statements like "You'll never believe what the yankees who moved in next door are doing to their lawn." or "Bob is an okay guy, for a yankee."
Oh, and when you tell people that you are from NY they are going to give you some good natured ribbing about your home state. Accept the fact that you may NOT reciprocate by making a joke about the South. A slight against the South, no matter how it was intended, will never be forgiven. I'm still a little upset over a comment that MY COUSIN from California made 2 years ago about North Carolina.
Last edited by JohnnyBreakdance; 06-05-2007 at 04:34 PM..
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. I'm from a formerly rural farming town in upstate New York (where we don't have an NYC accent), and am generally saddened to see the manners of the NYC transplants who have moved up here. I'd like to avoid being considered as someone like that were I to move to South Carolina.
We do pretty much everything slower here. We eat slower, we definately talk slower, we shop slower, we drive slower. Not many people here get in a hurry. And we DO NOT like to be rushed. Not in the store or on the road or in the middle of a sentence. We do not talk loud and take offense when someone speaks too loudly to us. And you might want to get used to being called a yankee. That's what most southerners call yankees. Eventually we will get to know you and learn your name, but until then, you will be simply 'yankee'. And when we talk about you to other people, we will call you 'yankee' and they will know exactly who you are. And whatever you do, don't make fun of how we deal with snow. We know it may only be 0.5" of snow that won't even accumulate, but we have to empty the store shelves just in case we are "snowed in" for a few days. We see so little snow, we just don't know any better. The south is a wonderful place to live. I cannot imagine living anywhere else. And you are a better man (woman) than I, because I would NEVER pick up and move to a yankee state. Since you seem willing to put forth an effort into fitting in, I'm sure you will be very happy down here.
