How is the single life in San Jose? (San Francisco, Santa Clara: transplants, houses)

[CouponGal]

I am considering relocating to SV from Texas. Please share any thoughts or experiences about how easy it is to make friends, and how open that San Jose is to newcomers. Also, what are your thoughts regarding the dating prospects for a 32 year old single white female, who has no children, but has an advanced degree?

I realize that similar posts may exist, but my demographics may be unique (or at least they are in Texas ).

[ccm123]

SV, San Jose and the Bay Area is like any "big metropolitan" area. Find like minded people, who enjoy similar things that you do and you can make friends. SV males are mainly engineers and computer intellectuals. There are more males here than females and the environment is quite diverse.

[sjnative]

For you- great! Why? Because you're a woman.

Not being sarcastic but the scales will be tipped in your favor in places like Man Jose wherein you'll find Mantana Row. You generally won't want to hang out in SJ, though. Try downtown Los Gatos, downtown Campbell, Mountain View and generally just anywhere but San Jose.

The best singles scene in the SFBA will almost always be in San Francisco, though, as both historically and now, the Silicon Valley is where people buy houses and raise kids and The City (SF) is where the singles are concentrated.

Regarding "newcomers," many if not most of the people here are transplants in this valley of two million people. You won't be the odd woman out here as you would in small town USA where everyone grew up together and then there's suddenly.. you.

[bobby_guz_man]

Man Jose? Are we still rooted in the 90's here? So according to you, SF would be Man Franciscco, considering it also has more men than women?

Mantana Row? Sigh...*rolls eyes*

OK, we get it. You don't like San Jose. But to say "you generally won't want to hang out in SJ, though" is disingenuous.

Look, San Jose's Santana Row is still the most popular hotspot in the South Bay even though it's been around for only 10 years. Downtown San Jose, for all its warts, still has 2x more bars and lounges combined than all the cities you just mentioned, and San Pedro Square Market in downtown is the new hipster/chillax spot in the South Bay. In the evenings you can always go to Willow Glen and walk its charming main street.

In fact, I got back from Dancing on the Avenues festival today in Willow Glen, and it was packed to the gills. The bands were awesome, and the crowd was swelling. Parking was a pain in the butt, unfortunately, but the atmosphere is all worth it.

And there are many many other spots to congregate as well in San Jose, especially in its many ethnic-concentrated conclaves.

The only other South Bay hotspot worth mentioning alongside Downtown San Jose and Santana Row would be downtown Palo Alto.

[bobby_guz_man]

Originally Posted by ccm123

SV, San Jose and the Bay Area is like any "big metropolitan" area. Find like minded people, who enjoy similar things that you do and you can make friends. SV males are mainly engineers and computer intellectuals. There are more males here than females and the environment is quite diverse.

I agreed. San Jose is large enough that finding someone to go out with comes down to finding people like you. *Hint: It ain't going to be at the bar scene, try volunteering*

[roadwarrior101]

Originally Posted by CouponGal

I am considering relocating to SV from Texas. Please share any thoughts or experiences about how easy it is to make friends, and how open that San Jose is to newcomers. Also, what are your thoughts regarding the dating prospects for a 32 year old single white female, who has no children, but has an advanced degree?

I realize that similar posts may exist, but my demographics may be unique (or at least they are in Texas ).

Ok, the demographics are tipped in your favor. Here are the issues though:

1. With a large proportion of of engineers/techies, you may have trouble finding single men that have the social skills you are looking for
2. Just because there is a large male population, doesn't mean that it works for you. There is a large Indian population, so you may find your dating pool not as good as you'd like.

You may want to look into activity clubs, depending upon your interest. In general, it is tougher here, not just due to demographics, but because everyone is just so busy working. If you seek it out, you can find your niche, as there are nearly 2 million people in Santa Clara county. However, in general, I think the dating scene down here is poor, as compared to other metro areas and even to SF.

[bobby_guz_man]

Originally Posted by roadwarrior101

Ok, the demographics are tipped in your favor. Here are the issues though:
You may want to look into activity clubs, depending upon your interest. In general, it is tougher here, not just due to demographics, but because everyone is just so busy working. If you seek it out, you can find your niche, as there are nearly 2 million people in Santa Clara county. However, in general, I think the dating scene down here is poor, as compared to other metro areas and even to SF.

I agree with everything except I would disagree on the bold point, but to each his/her own. I never had any problems dating here in the South Bay. I don't think it will be any more difficult for a lady, as long as you are a fun person and open-minded.

Now, the South Bay will have more married folks than the SF area. This is true. But this does not merit the "dating scene down here is poor". I would say it's a decent dating scene. SF is an extremely decent dating scene, certainly a notch or two above the South Bay.

But, SF is the congregation center of the Bay Area, most people you see in SF on any given nights most likely are not from SF itself, but from the whole area. And since single people tends to go out/drive to SF more, you will obviously see more singles in SF on any given night. This is SF's advantage over the entire region. It cannot be disputed.

[bobby_guz_man]

Originally Posted by roadwarrior101

1. With a large proportion of of engineers/techies, you may have trouble finding single men that have the social skills you are looking for

Oh lord...

It's a popular image, but it's not even close to being true. Most of the guys whom I have worked with in my field, who are single, are just as normal social-wise as everyone else.

I know, techies make a lot of money, A LOT. And people "resent" that, and make them out to be anti-social worker bees. I mean, they can't BOTH be sociable AND make a ton of money, can they? How are the average Joes going to compete with THAT? Good grief!

[nagleepark]

I agree with roadwarrior101 mostly. Bobby_guz_man always has to rise to the defense but I don't agree.

I know some permanently single techie guys. The stereotypes are mostly true, not entirely but mostly.

Of the recently married guys that I know, they all met their wife outside of dating in the Silicon Valley.

Of the married people that I know, nearly all of them got married, THEN moved to the Silicon Valley.

Of the single women that I've met, I've always felt a little sorry for them. One, it seems like the same single women run into the same single guys over and over and over again. There are three or four single women who I bump into all the time. Two, for some reason, I've never really "fell" for Silicon Valley women, even the nice ones. I sympathize with them but I never wanted to get involved beyond friendship.

If I were single again, I'd almost certainly date outside the Silicon Valley. Maybe that's me but maybe that's an indicator, too.

[bobby_guz_man]

For me it's 50/50, I have friends who married out of the area and I have friends who met their spouses in Silicon Valley and married.

I guess it's just dependent on who you hang out with...

And why would you need to feel sorry for the lades? It's always the same group of people going to the same group of bars/lounges, so of course they're going to run into each other. One of my friend who's a techie met his spouse while going to Earthquakes game. Another met his fiancee while both were out doing volunteer work cleaning the Guadalupe.

Heck, I'm a techie, and I met my wife here as well

I dated all over the entire Bay Area when I was younger. There are nice and pretty women all over the Bay and, except for SF, no one place has a dominance over another in terms of "quality" and "quantity". SF is THE congregation spot, so there are naturally more ladies there.

To be honest, back in the days I prefer to date East Bay ladies and San Jose ladies more than SF ladies, but that's because I hated driving in SF and couldn't stand driving in that city with a stick car. But even with that, I still dated my fair share of SF women.

I guess bottom line is it's up to YOU