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When I relocated the first time I made great friends. Best friends I had in years. We had to relocate a few years later due to a job. We still miss those friends. We have been here 5 times as long and just haven't made the same type of connection with anyone. We're closer to family but rarely see them as we're still several hours away. The dynamics of relationships change once you move away. If you moved back home tomorrow it wouldn't be the same as it was before you left.
Is anyone else struggling with this or struggled with it in the past.
If you did move away, how was it? Was it harder or easier than you expected?
That's why I'm looking far from Vancouver for low income housing. My younger sister is estranged, but that's good, older sister is (at times) irritating to me, and sometimes tries to steamroll me into things, she's backed off, but every so often. Grrrrrrr......
Lots to choose from, Spokane, Tri-Cities, Yakima and Walla Walla. Spokane is favored. 10 hour drive... Just waiting for SS to start coming
Mine (family, friends) are so toxic that I can hardly wait to move! Though it will probably still be about 18 months before I can, being the executor of an estate. Avoid being an executor if at all possible.
As someone who moved for work to a place where I knew no one, 10 years later I am still not happy here and will be moving once I retire. I will move back to where I have friends or close to family. Sometimes cost is not the overriding factor.
Why wouldn't they move to be near us? They wouldn't have to live in our retirement community to live near us if that's what they wanted to do.
We're not planning to live out in the middle of nowhere. There will be job centers within a reasonable distance.
We moved away from our hometown nearly 10 years ago and many of our friends/family members have moved also or passed away so our hometown isn't the same place for us that it once was. So even if we stayed put where we are right now, it's still not our hometown and our kids will likely wind up moving out of the area anyway.
The move was a positive in terms of life style. With the internet you do have the ability to talk to your family and friends and see them at the same time.
I moved from the dc area where my job had been, to our long time family vacation spot in the northern Midwest. In dc, my very much loved brother and his family were right across the street from me, so that was the biggest wrench in moving. Lots of good friends too. But I had always wanted to try living in this place, and at the last minute a good friend who was also retiring, was so intrigued by the location that he came along to try it out. We bought a house and 11 years later are very happy. I did make as many friends here as I need or want. Plus living in my first choice place means a great deal. Every day looking at Lake Michigan makes me feel glad. Unexpected things can happen, too. A year after I moved up here, my folks decided they needed to be closer to one of their kids, and since this was familiar territory to them, they moved here too. For the next seven years, I saw a lot of my brothers, because they came up here to visit our parents. Now that my folks are gone, our relationship is strong enough that I’m still talking on the phone a lot to my brothers, and seeing them on occasional visits. Not as much as living across the street, but enough to really matter in my life.
I’ve seen loners move here who are satisfied with just saying hello at the bank or post office, then going back to their homes for the week. I’ve seen people move here who immediately set out getting to know everyone and working hard to create a huge circle of friends. It seems people find what they are looking for, as long as they figure out what that is.
Plenty of people move here as well who find it’s not what they want long term, which is fine too. Often you don’t know if something is right until you’ve tried it out for a while. If you move and it’s not a good fit, you can always change paths again. Either way, hope you find a great place to live!
Even if we stayed put where we are right now, it's still not our hometown and our kids will likely wind up moving out of the area anyway.
Why would they?
I would assume by the time you need help, your kids will have established lives of their own. Even if they DO end up moving, it may well be for their careers or to where their spouse wants to go or their spouse's family lives or someplace they deem better for their own children.
It was hard at first. We left our childhood home of many generations. But looking back we are so glad we did. We don't have parents, children or grandchildren, so that may have made it easier.
We initially left and moved to a place where we knew no one. We were only there a few years, but we were able to meet friends and get involved with local things.
Then we moved out of state a few years ago to where we are now, and didn't know anyone here either. We have been fortunate again to find friends and community. My husband has since become disabled, so our options are limited right now, but we are still glad we left our hometown. Neither of us would want to move back because it's not the place we came from and is way too overdeveloped and over crowded.
That being said, it took us YEARS to pull the trigger. We don't get to see our siblings and their kids often, though, but we stay in touch. I wish you the best.
That is hard. I had to move a lot growing up. If you relocate choose an area with lots of retirees. We found it very easy to fit in and have so many activities. So many new friends. But if you are struggling maybe not right time or place for you. Ask yourself, are you truly active in person with many people where you are at? And do you enjoy it with enough activities and support there?
You could try renting in location interested in for a couple of months first.
When I relocated the first time I made great friends. Best friends I had in years. We had to relocate a few years later due to a job. We still miss those friends. We have been here 5 times as long and just haven't made the same type of connection with anyone. We're closer to family but rarely see them as we're still several hours away. The dynamics of relationships change once you move away. If you moved back home tomorrow it wouldn't be the same as it was before you left.
You can never go home again....
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