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The main downside to giving cash is that it might just go to fuel the person's drug, alcohol, or tobacco habit. But I am not saying you were wrong to give the cash. I think it's very difficult to know what is the "right" thing to do. I give you credit for your compassion.
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Originally Posted by craigiri
Same goes with paychecks people get every week. As you note - so what?
I don't see where I noted "so what?". Sure, people can spend their own money on drugs, alcohol, and tobacco, but we are talking here about voluntarily giving money to people in a situation where it is quite likely that the money will go for those things.
The employer pays for services rendered by the employees and then the employees are free to make choices about their expenditures. If I am face to face with a homeless person, that is an entirely different situation. Why would I want to subsidize the continued assault on the health and well-being of a homeless person?
Or maybe they are hungry and that is the only way they can get something to eat.
Sometimes it is easier to project our own agendas onto the poor so that we can distance ourselves in an attempt to feel safe and "above that situation".
But it can happen to any of us.
"There but for the grace of God go I".
Another oldie but goodie: "Never assume".
This.
OP, glad you were of assistance.
Those who know MY story on here, know I WAS HOMELESS for a while, as medical issues, lack of insurance and eventually loss of job and no address to get another on IF my health held out left me homeless and living under a bridge next to the RR tracks. AND NO, family nearby and 15 miles away would NOT HELP. meanwhile my parents gave a sibling multiples of thousands of dollars to buy several rentals. I was, for whatever reasons still a mystery to me today, NOT the "favorite child". I eventually was approved for welfare, and suggested i apply gor SSDI, but it took 5 applications, and getting mail at a friends landlords house to get the needed welfare. Welfare is supposed to be there to help those in need, but only shortly. With what I did get it was still hard to find a place to live. My sibling even refused to rent to me unless I could pay "fair market value", not a discounted " help the family out " rate!!!!! ( I could not pay FMV!!) I eventually rented a dump of a cottage, where the landlord let me pay on the 1st, and the 15th when my rent funds came in. It was hard to find housing I could afford, and most mens houses were for those who had an addiction, and I didn't have that problem.
Ps: I never panhsdled, but I did walk the streets picking up stray returnable bottles. If in the recycling bin, it is illegal to pull them out, but if laid beside you could collect them. In a wealthier neighborhood near my RR bridge , and the people there would actually line the returnable up on the lawn besides the recycling bin. I would collect them for money. I waved and mouthed thank you to one guy I saw watching me one collection night, he gave me a thumbs up.
OP, you don't know her history, perhaps it was like mine, perhaps it was an addiction, perhaps it was just that she wanted to be a "nomad". But if she was displaced from a place she could afford to the streets she'd definitely be earning of your good will.
At this time of year, a little goodwill goes a long way. I've decided the next time I pass the Salvation Armys red kettle, I'll drop a $10 in it following OP s compassion. I know the S.A. DOES help to provide housing rooms for people in trouble, just when I needed them that winter being homeless in N.Y., they were FULL UP.
best of luck to those displaced this holiday season!
I am so happy that most of the posts in this thread have been compassionate, with fewer skeptical remarks than I anticipated reading.
I wonder if it is because this is the retirement forum and many of us have seen enough to want to open our hearts to those less fortunate than ourselves.
a friend used to keep snack bags in her car; each had a jar of peanut butter, some crackers, and a plastic knife. When someone asked her for money because they were hungry, she gave them a snack bag.
One time a guy asked me for money for food. I happened to have a doggy bag of lunch leftovers, so I gave that to him. He was thankful. A few minutes later, he came into the thrift store where I was shopping and bought a statuette. Apparently, he sold the food to get a knickknack.
That is a philosophical issue. I do not agree. By subsidizing those habits, you are helping them destroy their health.
You are not technically wrong. Yet it can be ... wrong. I understand how counterintuitive this seems:
I have frequently taken care of patients in the hospital who were homeless alcoholics & we administered alcohol to them, per doctors order, because without it they will die.
It is usually Vodka, supplied from the in-patient Pharmacy in liquid pharmaceutical bottles & we would measure one or more 30cc “shots” every 4-6 hours, around the clock, depending on the level of dependency. The shakes are “okay” but if they have a seizure the amount of alcohol must be increased.
Some will die before they get to the hospital.
Same for opiate addiction; they will die without a monitored taper. Newborns born to drug-addicted mothers sometimes require an over 3 month stay in the hospital for a very slow opiate taper & withdrawl symptoms will still be observed at 6 months old.
Have you ever seen the beginning stages of withdrawl? The vomiting, the violent diarrhea & the shaking? Then the seizures begin. Painful muscle spasms in the limbs so strong that even those safe in bed will land on the floor as their legs thrash around.
That’s where the phrase “Kicking the Habit” originated: From observing the leg spasms of an addict in acute withdrawl.
Most of us would agree that basic survival would require oxygen, hydration & nutrition; in that order.
Addiction disrupts that hierarchy by bumping the last two down a notch. What they fear the most is that they will become incapacitated before they have a chance to save themselves. The look on the face of an addict who is shaking too violently to get the needle in their arm is one of abject fear.
Did you know that most drug & alcohol rehab facilities won’t admit people who are in active withdrawl? That if a person requires medical detox they must have the resources to first safely detox at a medical detox center & then be transferred to a residential program?
The homeless might be able to access a county run detox program but many counties don’t have them or are not equipped to handle medically dependent patients. It’s still a valuable resource; “Three hots & a cot” to sleep it off but there is no residential after care unless you can private pay or have excellent insurance options. If you want to light a cigarette to take the edge off you have to leave. If you lose the ability to ambulate or have a seizure they call 911 & send you to the ER. If you are on oxygen or you are an insulin dependent diabetic they will refuse you.
This & more; is why they wind up on the side of the road with a sign that says “Hungry”. They know that we might respond to hunger. Most of us don’t know there is something far worse.
I'd like to revisit the idea of providing alcohol money for alcoholics. The poster suggested to let them have a little pleasure. I think this is a misunderstanding.
As others noticed, usually by the time an alcoholic is down and out they are no longer drinking because they enjoy it but rather because they need it. It is true that this is a complicated issue and needs to be discussed on a case by case basis. But I have a thought on that.
An intoxicated alcoholic is less apt to get the help he needs than an alcoholic in withdrawal. People picked up for intoxication are often treated very poorly, sometimes even jailed which really puts their health at risk as someone can die from alcohol withdrawal.
But an alcoholic in withdrawal is more apt to be viewed by others, including paramedics, as someone at risk and be placed in a medical setting.
I have read about too many cases of intoxicated street people being victimized or murdered by others to be willing to help enable that situation. The stories are horrendous.
Many people see addicts as laughable buffoons. Some think he's having a good time. More people are apt to rally and seek help if they see someone having a seizure.
The medical world has an ever-increasing store of information about addiction and yet, despite how commonplace it is, most of us have very little understanding at all.
At any rate not all people on the street are addicts but a great number of them are. More, I think, than we are led to believe. This just complicates their ability to make use of the help available.
In almost 100% of cases such people made a series of wrong decisions starting in their early teenage years and throughout their life. Women generally do not feel the need to work at a paying job every day of their life and thus suffer the most when they are no longer able to kick the can down the road and wake up to zero net worth..
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