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A language instructor was explaining to a class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.
One puzzled student asked ‘What gender is a computer?’
For fun, she split the class into male and female and asked each to decide whether ‘computer’ should be a masculine or feminine noun.
The men’s group decided that computers should be of the female gender because: -
1) No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2) The language that they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3) Even the smallest mistake is committed to long-term memory for future use.
4) As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending most of your salary on accessories for it.
The women’s group however, decided that computers should be masculine because: -
1) In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2) They hold a lot of data but they are still useless
3) They are supposed to help you solve problems but mostly, they are the problem.
4) As soon as you commit to one, you realise that if you had waited a little longer you could have got a much better one.
A little girl from Minneapolis came home from church with a frown on her face and delared she would never go to back because she did not like the Bible they used in Sunday school. Her mother asked "why not"? The little girl replied "because the Bible they use is always talking about St. Paul, and it never once mentions Minneapolis."
Martha recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table.
Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him. "Herman, you know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!"
She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said, "Herman, remember that new car you promised me? Well, I also bought it! with the insurance money!"
Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the ashes she said, "Herman, that emerald necklace you promised me? Bought it too, with the insurance money!
Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "Herman, remember that blow job I promised you? ......Here it comes
He checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely so he thought he'd get one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a taxi. He grabbed a card on his way in. It was an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs all the way up. You know the kind.
So he's in his room and figure, what the heck, I'll give her a call. He phones the number.
"Hello?" the woman says. Wow! she sounded sexy. "Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. You name it, we'll do it. Bring implements, toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; Tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whip cream, anything you want baby. Now, how does that sound?"
She says, "That sounds fantastic, but for an outside line you need to press 9."
A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
And just before she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his butt.
A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
And just before she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his butt.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
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