To lighten things up a bit.... (grace, America, believe, gay)

[pianogal]

I got a great big chuckle out of this one....thought some of you might enjoy it, too! Remember "Laughter doeth good like a medicine"!

DISCLAIMER: Please don't be offended. This one manages to insult people on both sides of the fence....or should I say Road!

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that
he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road
before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road.
What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking
on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
__________________________________________________ _____

OPRAH: Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why
he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the
chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of
life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just
drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the
chickens.
__________________________________________________

GEORGE W BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The
chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground
here. Let's invade and occupy the chickencoop,,just in case. ..
_____________________________________________

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
___________________________________________

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
__________________________________________

JOHN KERRY and HILLARY CLINTON: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain
against it.
__________________________________________

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
___________________________________________

PAT BUCHANAN: He's probably a Mexican chicken, coming to steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
_________________________________________

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
insider information.
_________________________________________

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,
the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been
told.
_______________________________________

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone. ________________________________________

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side."
That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is freakin gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the
other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's
as plain and as simple as that. ______________________________________________

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
__________________________________________

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of
how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.
___________________________________________

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
__ __________________________________________

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
____________________________________________

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This
new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C \...
reboot.
______________________________________________

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? ____________________________________________

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
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AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
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COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
---------------------------------------------------------

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

[Alpha8207]

Thanks pianogal, I think I needed that tongiht.

[foma]

niiiiiice - you got a laugh from me!

[FilmCutter]

I laughed so hard at that one. Thank you for that!

[fromcenFL]

Wow that is hilarious

[CelticLady1]

I've read this one before, and it's still just as funny!!

[irishmom]

Ha ha! This is so funny and you can really substitute Chicken for almost anything and it makes such a point!...too funny!