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>> because some of us prayed for the same thing and didn't get our miracle
Yes, and I am so very sorry for those losses.
I hope my story is not taken as gloating. I’m celebrating, definitely, but do NOT want to gloat in front of those who suffered grievous losses.
You make many good points and I agree with you. But in my faith* I believe God wants us to ask Him for what we want. But we don’t always get it. And when we don’t it can be very EFFED UP.
* — (when I say “in my faith” I don’t mean any particular religion. I mean that’s what I as an individual believe. I can’t argue it because frankly I don’t understand it. Why does a loving and benevolent God let me keep my wife for a few more days or years while the guy next to me loses his 3 month old child to childhood leukemia? I could say that it was all God’s will, but that comes off as trite and, hell, if I was that father who lost my 3 month old, I’d be seriously pissed and want to punch that guy’s teeth out.)
So when I quoted Romans 8:28 in the OP, I meant that regardless of whether or not my wife lived. That verse means that in ALL things, whether they be good or bad, we have to trust in God and He will work things out for good.
I did not create the OP on that first night when nobody was certain that she’d live through the night, and I did not create it when her heart was stopped and I didn’t know if she’d be revived. But throughout this I was clinging to Romans 8:28. And also to Romans 8:38-39.
Easy for me to say now, with my wife sitting next to me on the couch. But that’s the truth.
I am definitely aware that many many others end with unfortunate outcomes. And it easily could’ve been me with a very unfortunate outcome.
While my wife is home today, and stable, she is still quite fragile. She’s 58, so not too old, but she’s been through a lot and so she’s fragile. I’ll try to treasure every single day we have together.
Thanks again for your message, your post.
I lost my first wife to breast cancer seven years after her diagnosis. She was 54. Those seven years WERE a miracle. Not a miracle that she lasted seven years but in everything those seven years brought to our lives and the lives of others. At the end, we agreed those seven years had been the best of our marriage. Their aftermath in my life has likewise been a miracle.
We never prayed for miracle healings. We prayed for peace and strength and guidance. We prayed for God's presence in our time of trial. We prayed for greater faith and trust. Yes, Romans 8 is key.
Sure, to a non-believer, this sounds like we took the easy way out. We didn't put God to the test. We didn't pray for a miracle healing, only to be bitterly disappointed. I don't believe this is how mature faith works. If a miracle healing had been God's will, it would have occurred.
I think I mentioned elsewhere my old Philosophy of Religion professor who used ro challenge the class by asking "Why doesn't God give me a new Dodge truck when I pray for one? Why wouldn't God want me to have a new Dodge truck?" His point, to those of us who were Christians, is that this is a very shallow and superficial notion of God and of prayer.
It's wonderful to have a mature belief system in place before a trial such as this comes your way, as we did and as it sounds you do. Those who do not are prone to fervently praying for healing miracles and later appearing on forums such as this as bitter non-believers.
@O’Darby I am so very sorry for your loss. Your wife was so young. Only 54. It is comforting that we have the hope from God’s promises. As Jesus said from the cross to one of the criminals, as written in Luke’s Gospel, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” We have that hope, that reassurance.
@mensaguy, we have done that before also, gotten a med from the hospital pharmacy before being discharged. I don’t know why that did not happen for us then. I mentioned that to her doctor, that it’s an opportunity for process improvement to make sure the key meds needed at discharge are in stock and available at the pharmacy. Hopefully that gets implemented so that others are not affected by it. And my wife and I have made a mental note to check for that, for any future hospitalization.
@mordant, thank you. I remembered your words when discussing with her case manager at the rehab facility about her transfer there, to make certain that she is ready to begin her rehab process there. That it wasn’t too early to transfer her. That was helpful.
Yesterday she was transferred to rehab. She will begin the rehab process today and they expect it will take up to 2 weeks. Possibly less. She was in great spirits and feeling really well. Much better than at her previous discharge.
It has been a tough journey for her but with the grace of God she is making it through.
@mordant, thank you. I remembered your words when discussing with her case manager at the rehab facility about her transfer there, to make certain that she is ready to begin her rehab process there. That it wasn’t too early to transfer her. That was helpful.
Yesterday she was transferred to rehab. She will begin the rehab process today and they expect it will take up to 2 weeks. Possibly less. She was in great spirits and feeling really well. Much better than at her previous discharge.
It has been a tough journey for her but with the grace of God she is making it through.
Glad it was helpful, and I am so pleased that your wife is stronger than ever!
Two days ago my wife was discharged from rehab. She is home now, negotiating the stairs with some difficulty. She is weak and she tires easily, and she needs a cane to walk. But she is building up her strength with each passing day. Given time and exercise, she should recover 100%. Mentally she is already 100% and showing no signs of oxygen deprivation. What a miracle this is! Modern medicine can do a great deal. Truly amazing.
It’s been over five weeks since that Sunday night, 12 November, when her heart stopped and she was revived with CPR. She could have died. And if she had died, would my faith and belief in the power of prayer be as strong? I’d like to think that it would be, and it’s admittedly easy to say now with this good outcome that it would be, but you don’t really know unless it were to happen. Right? Our faith is strong, and it has been tested a bit.
Romans 8:28 — And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:38-39 — For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Thank you, God. Thank you, Jesus.
Last edited by echo7tango; 12-21-2023 at 02:58 PM..
I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas / holidays. My wife continues to recover, and she’s getting stronger. She needs a cane to get around, and she has difficulty going up the stairs. She has good days and bad. It’s like 3 steps forward, 1 back. Occasionally she needs the wheelchair. Thank goodness for Craigslist.
One interesting thing is that she doesn’t remember anything during her first 2-3 weeks. She had 2 major surgeries a week apart in that first week, and after both she was soon lucid, responsive, and communicative, and she wasn’t hazy / drowsy for much of that time. But now, 7 weeks after this all started, she doesn’t remember those 2-3 weeks. Must be the meds, the painkillers.
Thank you for your prayers and good thoughts! We are so grateful, we continue to give thanks to God, and we’re also humbled at how fragile life can be. Hug and kiss your loved ones. Tell them you love them. Each day that we have on this planet is a gift.
I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas / holidays. My wife continues to recover, and she’s getting stronger. She needs a cane to get around, and she has difficulty going up the stairs. She has good days and bad. It’s like 3 steps forward, 1 back. Occasionally she needs the wheelchair. Thank goodness for Craigslist.
One interesting thing is that she doesn’t remember anything during her first 2-3 weeks. She had 2 major surgeries a week apart in that first week, and after both she was soon lucid, responsive, and communicative, and she wasn’t hazy / drowsy for much of that time. But now, 7 weeks after this all started, she doesn’t remember those 2-3 weeks. Must be the meds, the painkillers.
Thank you for your prayers and good thoughts! We are so grateful, we continue to give thanks to God, and we’re also humbled at how fragile life can be. Hug and kiss your loved ones. Tell them you love them. Each day that we have on this planet is a gift.
Happy New Year to you and yours!
And to you and your wife :-)
Pain killers CAN impact memory. My wife has been on the lowest possible dose of Oxycodone for about six months and two back to back total knee replacements and while she doesn't have amnesia (apart from the day of surgery), her short term memory is very poor, her mental focus and motivational structure is messed up, and she has been uncharacteristically weepy. She is eager to completely wean off ... probably another week and she should be done with that.
The trajectory of most recoveries starts out faster, then slows down ... toward the tail end it can make one very impatient. In the case of my wife's surgery we're told to expect another 6 to 9 months before the healing is complete enough that she starts to forget that she is healing from being two snips shy of a double amputation. So the psychology of these coming months will be tough on her in their own way. She's eager for her new and hopefully more pain-free life. Fortunately by the time spring comes around she should be able to indulge at least some of that.
Patience!
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