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Ok, only because I wouldn't ask anyone I know this question, I come here to ask strangers. I have been in a relationship for over a year (I live with her) with a good looking, well eduicated and financially well off woman. We live well, have no money problems as we both do well financially and for the most part get along well. The only problem we seem to have is with disagreements over sex. I am wondering if at my age (54) whether I should just be satisfied that I am living a good life with someone who cares about me and forget about satisfying sex, or should I move on and find someone who satisfies me in all ways. She tells me I am putting to much emphasis on sex and I should be "satisfied" for what i get when I get it. I may mention sex occurs only when she wants it and how she wants it. Whenever I try to initate sex I am usually rebuffed with "my favorite show is on...after i am done watching tv....maybe tomorrow, it needs shaved etc etc" and not one time in the time I have been with her has it been on my terms. Yes, she is a control freak about other things too.
My friends my age tell me I have it good and I should just "settle for what I can get when I can get it" and my younger friends tell me "cut and run and find someone else" so I am looking for opinions. I still REALLY like sex and I can only see it getting less and less frequent and less and less fun. Help!?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Scr*w that. If you're happy in being in a sexless relationship for companionship purposes, that is your business. Sounds like hell to me. Are you happy being single?
For me. I can have sexual satisfaction when the relationship otherwise isn't good (prime FWB transition personnel), or I can have relationship satisfaction AND sexual satisfaction. There is no such thing as relationship satisfaction w/o sexual satisfaction, unless you are up to an open relationship.
Nobody should get regularly blown off in terms of sex when they are in a relationship. Are you guys just incompatible? Was there ever a time that you liked the same frequency and variety, or was there always that disconnect?
Sounds like she may not be into you as you think. When things are good, women don't repeatedly refuse sex. If medical conditions apply, or perhaps anti-depressants are in play, that could affect things. But from the sound of things, your attempts aren't working for her.
Also, it depends on how often intimacy occurs. Does it happen multiple times a week ?
Are you unsatisfied humping her leg every day, and she thinks that is to much ?
I think in order to be truly happy all your basic needs must be met. You've said everything else in the relationship and your life is good but sex is important without it you become nothing more than roommates. Speak to her and if she isn't willing to change then move on. You may be 54 but everyone deserved to satisfied no age limit.......Go get some
Sounds as if your relationship didn't have a good foundation when you moved in anyway. I read your other post about having feelings for your ex when you are thinking about moving in with this woman.
Ok, only because I wouldn't ask anyone I know this question, I come here to ask strangers. I have been in a relationship for over a year (I live with her) with a good looking, well eduicated and financially well off woman. We live well, have no money problems as we both do well financially and for the most part get along well. The only problem we seem to have is with disagreements over sex. I am wondering if at my age (54) whether I should just be satisfied that I am living a good life with someone who cares about me and forget about satisfying sex, or should I move on and find someone who satisfies me in all ways. She tells me I am putting to much emphasis on sex and I should be "satisfied" for what i get when I get it. I may mention sex occurs only when she wants it and how she wants it. Whenever I try to initate sex I am usually rebuffed with "my favorite show is on...after i am done watching tv....maybe tomorrow, it needs shaved etc etc" and not one time in the time I have been with her has it been on my terms. Yes, she is a control freak about other things too.
My friends my age tell me I have it good and I should just "settle for what I can get when I can get it" and my younger friends tell me "cut and run and find someone else" so I am looking for opinions. I still REALLY like sex and I can only see it getting less and less frequent and less and less fun. Help!?
I am wondering whether, deep down, you really think everything is great in your relationship (aside from sex) or whether due to age, the stability of the relationship (comfortability) and the relative financial security you are really putting up with a number of annoyances and trying to explain them away.
Now, I do not know that for certain. However, if you refer to her as a control freak I am guessing you get frustrated about things as well.
Sexual incompatability alone would likely be enough for me to not try and build the relationship further. Add in control issues, and I would likely be out of there.
Does not work because I don't want to have sex with you (no matter how good it is) if I can't stand you (which will eventually happen if we don't click right in the relationship).
I know this from experience - hot sex goddess who was nice and always ready to go...but I couldn't get into it at all and then it just grossed me out.
Just from the woman's point of view.
Honestly, if I wasn't getting everything out of a relationship that I wanted and there were no kids involved, I'd hit the road.
If she doesn't want you, she will definitely not want you at all sexually right after you give her a ring. Whatever you do, don't get married to her. At this point, you need to assess whether you want to live the rest of your life sexless or not. Because that's where you are headed if you stay with her.
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I am wondering whether, deep down, you really think everything is great in your relationship (aside from sex) or whether due to age, the stability of the relationship (comfortability) and the relative financial security you are really putting up with a number of annoyances and trying to explain them away.
