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what good does an apology do ?
no serious, pay back is so much sweeter
What would you have done as payback if your sibling was a couple days of marrying your main HS bully and they feign ignorance when you ask them if they remember you?
You should've seen the ending of the film. It was disgusting.
She gets caught because the victim plays a video on their wedding rehearsal; supposedly a time capsule that was going to be buried and not seen for 50 years. The video was showing how JJ was the bully. JJ finds out who unburied it and she gets even more aggressive. JJ even tried throwing two plates at her head but missed; that would definitely be battery charges. The guy breaks up the wedding after walking in on his fiancee throwing guacamole sauce on the victim's head; as an adult. However, the guy isn't just upset with his JJ about being a bully but at his sister too for showing that video instead and scooping to the bully's level. He's furious at both women. No one in the poor victim's family (even her mother asks ''what did you do''?) seems to take her side not even after watching the video.
Later in the night, the victim finds JJ crying in the fridge and binging on junk food (a total pig), saying that she's not getting married anymore and she still reaches out to her. JJ never reached out. Finally she gets her apology, lol. The victim talks to her brother and convinces him to marry JJ. So the wedding still happens and they still get married. For sure it was a Hollywood ending. We never see a change in the woman and she still gets her happy ending. The victim caved in and bend over in the end.
Since I would place no value on that person's opinion at all, an insincere apology would be meaningless. Better to let it go.
That's what JJ said to the victim, that she really thought she could start all over (as strangers meeting for the first time) but she was so completely stuck in the past that she just couldn't let it go already.
But yeah it sounds kind of crazy being that obsessive about getting an apology.
I've never been bullied myself and my sympathy to those that have experienced that type of hardship. Ideally it would be great if a former bully reaches out, owns up to their past wrongs and apologizes to their victim.
What if that doesn't happen and the former bully is unremorseful (even still tries bullying you as an adult), should they be forced to apologize? Is it right for the former victim to demand an apology, knowing very well that it's going to be forced and insincere in the end?
I got inspired after watching the movie You Again 2010 by Kristen Bell. The movie was about a HS girl that has been bullied for 4 whole years by a popular cheerleader (JJ) and her friends. The victim literally gets thrown out of the school building and locked. Her older brother is clueless about it. Then 8 years later (she's now 26), she learns her brother's fiancee is the same cheerleader that tormented her back then. When they meet again after all these years, JJ pretends not to know her because supposedly she's too embarrassed of what she did back then and doesn't want to talk about it at all. However, the victim continues pressuring for an apology and even said '' Hey I wanted a real apology and I DESERVED one'' and JJ replies ''That was HS (still unrepentant about it)''. In the end, JJ apologizes but this was after she loses everything and is only sorry about getting caught and no longer getting married. She never properly apologizes. The victim never got her real apology. After all what type of apology is it if you had to demand it? The woman clearly sounded like a narcissist.
What do you think? If you know very well they're unremorseful, would you still insist on getting your apology? Should they still be forced to apologize even though it's going to be fake by then? They aren't feeling it at all.
I saw that movie and it was about more than just bullying, it inclluded the grandma's and the mothers's who went to high school together all 4 of them resenting the one they grew up with for perceived or actual slights, and all of them were bullies in one way or another. And the bullied sister had grown up to be fine, she was the one who pushed it too far in a very passive aggresive way in the end.
I think the point of the movie is that it was supposed to be a comedy.
I don't think an apology from an unrepentant person is worth the time spent on it. We all just have to grow up and get on with our lives. None of us can be inside the head of any other person to understand how they think or why they act the way they do. Insecurity is usually the first motivation of bullies.
Ideally it would be great if a former bully reaches out, owns up to their past wrongs and apologizes to their victim.
What if that doesn't happen and the former bully is unremorseful (even still tries bullying you as an adult), should they be forced to apologize? Is it right for the former victim to demand an apology, knowing very well that it's going to be forced and insincere in the end?
A healthy adult would have moved past it. If someone is still feeling some kind of way about a bully from their past, especially one they know is unremorseful, they should seek therapy, not an apology.
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