NOVA is the most unfriendly avoiding place I've ever lived (house, school)

[TheEggman]

Originally Posted by Flamingo13

I don't know - I talk to everyone, I'm pretty outgoing and friendly. I chat w/someone in the grocery, a cashier, bus driver, someone on the Metro, etc. I don't usually get a cold shoulder (except for some of the DASH bus drivers, some are very rude). Maybe it's in how you come off? (You, not meaning the OP personally - I just mean in how a person attempts an interaction).

I do agree though that it's hard to befriend people - We don't have children, folks that we made friends w/when younger now have families and totally different lives, singles tend to be younger, couples our ages are hard to meet. That can be kind of sad, I still mostly contact my old PA friends and I've lived here for over 20 yrs.

I also am a very gregarious person. I was raised in the time before chivalry caught a terminal illness and people still (successfully) hitch-hiked.

To me it's an indication of a sad change in the state of the times in general. It's also not so much of a North South thing, (except for a few of the good ole boys,) it's more of an Urban Rural issue. Both of these relate to the pace of the life people lead.

We used to have time to actually meet other people and talk about them and their lives, get to know their kids watch their dog when they went out of town.

Today, if you meet someone, especially if you are a young couple, it's probably at some carefully scripted, timed to the minute event.

Even if it's a social event, all anyone seems to be able to talk about is work, career, sports and anything but actually getting to know any people.

Add kids to the mix and at least you'll meet a few of your neighbors, but that will probably be more of a 'professional' relationship in your roles as parents rather than as good acquaintances or friends.

Neighborhood Associations seem to bring out the complaints in people when they have gatherings rather than foster any kind of relationship.

As for finding friends - that takes time - and time is something no one seems to have any more. Until, of course, you get to 'podunk' a few hundred miles out in the boonies. People there have time to get get to know one another, often much too well. There's a fine dividing line between 'concerned neighbor' and 'meddling busybody.' (Something there's no shortage of in the city OR country, but the ones in the country have more time to meddle.)

What -- me -- cynical???

Egg


"If you take time to think about how little everyone thinks about anything or anyone but themselves, you'll stop worrying about what other people think."

[Flamingo13]

Interesting points Egg - I personally try not to be cynical (I do have a sarcastic sense of humor sometimes though

We don't have a H.A here thank goodness, but the neighbors I've gotten to know (and am friends w/are actually my parents age, nice folks, but....)

I've actually seen someone's vehicle in the neighborhood that sports the team I am a fan of - I plan to stop there some time and introduce myself. (again, there's that time thing) - I also have some health issues that cut into fun time.

Thanks for your points though, when we had our dog (he's gone ) - we seemed to meet more folks that had dogs while out walking, etc.

I guess people have their priorities, nothing wrong w/that.

[Nancy in Nokomis]

I am a SAHM and I completely agree with the OP! I cant figure it out but I did find that if I push myself to talk to people - they DO talk back - they are just waiting for you to make the first move. Strange - I know!
I think people in NYC do talk more than D.C. - I cant figure it out.

[NSX]

I've noticed the exact same thing, coming from Michigan. People also seem much more snobbish & arrogant here.

[stockdale.35]

Originally Posted by shauna714

I don't agree whatsoever with the last post. I'm from the Midwest and am extremely outgoing and friendly. I do NOT think the original poster needs to examine himself AT ALL. He is exactly right ! I've lived here 18 years and from day one, I've found this place to be starkly different from the friendly parts of the nation that I've lived in: southern CA, Knoxville and Ohio. I just think some of us are more sensitive to unfriendly treatment, while others can let it roll off their shoulders more. There is nothing wrong with the person who started this thread.

Half the people in NOVA are from all these places you claim are "friendly parts". Again I say dont kid yourself, quit watching TV and get out more. Go to a bar, bowling, Dave and Busters. Thats where alot of people go to relax. Or join a club, there are plenty of nice talkative people there.

I hope this is not insensitive?

[stockdale.35]

Originally Posted by NSX

I've noticed the exact same thing, coming from Michigan. People also seem much more snobbish & arrogant here.

Geez, NSX just posting, proves my point to Shauna714 about people here from the places she is talking about.

Go Buckeyes beat Michigan

*two points for me*

[caution]

Don't let folks from NYC fool you. They talk to you becuase they can tell you're not from there and want to hear your accent! :P

My great places in NOVA are some nice, close in neighborhoods like Arlington Ridge, Shirlington, and slices of Alexandria to include a section of Arlandra and Old Town.

The folks in the stores know their customers, and the waiters can remember your name -- oh and you can walk to the places folks normally drive to so you ain't mad about traffic when you get there.

If you live in NOVA and spend more than 20 minutes in the car for any reason I understand why you might be a little on edge. The only exception to the 20 minute rule is if you have to make a really long trip, for some strange reason, outside the beltway. -- justificaiton may include an annual trip to Ikea or Baltimore, but not both.

[crazee8]

I've lived in VA in my entire life, except for a brief stint in Oklahoma and Upstate NY. I grew up in the country in Western VA where no man ever held a door for me. I married the man that I met in OK that held the door for me and always insisted I go first. Snapped him right up!

Anyway, this is a big area that has exploded in population and doesn't have a personality other than as a suburban bastion where residents work feverishly to procreate. That's what's going on out here - have you seen Halloween time? It's like a pestilence of humanity emerging from every crack and crevice there is.

At any rate, people are too busy with their mob scene and working religously on adding more - there's no time to be friendly - it's hard out here in the 'burbs.

I try to kill people with kindness and that works well for me - but it's a lot of freaking work and I'd prefer to be home in my sanctuary of solitude where I can concentrate on what we're doing out here.

[Fern435]

crazee8--You have the right attitude. If I encountered more people like you, things would feel much different. And it does seem to be that the native Virginians are usually the well-mannered, more reserved type.

We had the misfortune of moving here at the height of the housing bubble. The attitudes were particularly obnoxious and arrogant at that time.

[TheEggman]

Originally Posted by caution

...

My great places in NOVA are some nice, close in neighborhoods like Arlington Ridge, Shirlington, and slices of Alexandria to include a section of Arlandra and Old Town.
...

Thanks for bringing up Shirlington, one of the often overlooked little gems of the area. Over the past 15 years it's evolved into a dynamic and enjoyable spot.

Another now very pleasant and enjoyable area in Alex. well into transition to a solid community is Del-Ray.

Egg