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I am a 26-year old male considering relocating to one of the metro areas of ND (Bismarck, Grand Forks or Fargo), but I am homosexual. Is this something I should be concerned about? I am not one to advertise my sexual orientation, but is the general environment in ND hostile or intolerant of homosexuals? I am a reserved type of person who is generally masculine in demeanor and dresses and acts like a guy. I am also nonreligious and do not practice any religion. Politically, I am socially liberal, but fiscally conservative. I voted for McCain back in 2008.
With that aside, ND interests me because it is sparsely populated, has great natural beauty, affordable housing, less traffic and seems more down to earth. But, suppose that I was to have a relationship with another guy and live in the same house together in a neighborhood. Would the neighbors feel uncomfortable knowing that there is a house with two guys living in it with no children? Would people stop talking to me or treat me differently because of this? All I want to do is live like a normal human being and contribute to society in a positve way, and work hard, etc. And I have a master's degree in Accounting with 4 years of experience in various industries.
I plan to take a road trip out there this summer to check it out. It will be about a 24-hour drive from CT!
North Dakotans are private people and I don't think anyone would care. I remember reading in the paper about a Pride festival in Bismarck shortly before I moved here last year.
Dakota OutRight has a Facebook page (you don't have to be on Facebook to see it): Dakota OutRight | Facebook
Nep321...they are here, and nobody really cares or pays attention to anyone. I know if you were a neighbor, you would be welcome and I would care less....you are always going to have some of the losers and closed minded jerks [Mod cut] Chances are, if you lived next door to him... became his best buddy, and then a year down the road he finds out you are gay... he would turn on you in a heart beat! Just the type of guy some people are...they accept you until they find out you are different...then judge you in a negative way (even though they know you are a good person). I would sure feel sorry for GooberGuys friends, relatives or children if any of them turned out to be gay...but what is ironic, some of the people he knows and likes are probably gay, but he just doesn't know it yet!!
Last edited by ElkHunter; 01-21-2011 at 07:32 PM..
Reason: Removed the post you refered to.
North Dakota is conservative politically and socially and also pretty religious. There are certainly gays in the state who live with their partners, some raising children, but I think they generally keep it pretty low key. Things may be changing to some extent but I think you might still have an easier time if you move to a larger town and probably somewhere in the eastern part of the state, such as near Grand Forks or Fargo. Those are the largest towns in the state, are slightly more liberal politically though still more conservative than most, and they're both university towns. There was a fairly active gay rights group at UND when I was attending the university in Grand Forks in the early 1990s. At least back then there were a few lesbian families raising children and I don't think there was much said about it in the university community. I've also seen birth announcements for two women families from Fargo on its hospital web site.
For the most part, though, if you just go about your every day business and live your life, no one is going to say anything or give you any grief.
Theres always Winnipeg / Manitoba in Canada if you don't feel comfortable in ND. I know a few gay ppl who live there and commute to ND daily. Or take advantage of the recovering Canadian economy which has come back faster then the American Economy. Its your choice......i doubt you'll run into any problems in that part of the country. Like other people have said ppl aren't nosy as in other parts of the US.
Well thanks for the responses. Sounds like I wouldn't have anything to really worry about, since I am the type who prefers to keep to himself, and doesn't do anything in public such as holding hands, etc.
Well thanks for the responses. Sounds like I wouldn't have anything to really worry about, since I am the type who prefers to keep to himself, and doesn't do anything in public such as holding hands, etc.
Hello. Did you find a spot elsewhere? Or do you like it here in ND?
Most North Dakotans are very private people who keep to themselves and let everyone else live their lives. ND in general is a 'live and let live' kind of place and that's what i like the most about it. I would recommend the Fargo-Moorhead area out of all the cities you're considering.
Maybe my take is a bit different than others... or maybe ND has changed.
If I were you, I'd be very reluctant to move to ND. Some place like NY or San Fran, being mistaken for gay (i.e. you trying to pick up a straight male) isn't likely to get you punched in the face. Men in those areas tend to be a bit more metrosexual and may even see it as a bit of a compliment that they're found attractive. In an ultra conservative place like North Dakota, being mistaken for gay is a slight on one's manhood and likely to trip a very homophobic response, potentially violent (not lynching type violent, more black eye type violent).
Also, while it's true you probably won't have people picketing outside your house or men in white hoods trying to start you on fire... in ND I would expect you to be stared at and I can only imagine the amount of gossip. While it's true that they tend to let people live and therefore won't say things to your face, the amount that's said behind people's backs in a place like ND is tremendous. They absolutely LOVE to talk and gossip. Again, not a threat to your physical well being, but something to be aware of.
If you were moving to ND with a social network and a partner, I would say go for it. Without that, I think you'll find ND a VERY lonely place. Based on your desire to be in a metro area versus the middle of nowhere, I don't believe that's truly what you're seeking. As such, I'm not sure ND is right for you. Best of luck in whatever you decide.
Q: Are gays welcomed in ND?
As: yes, we love gays here!
Yeah, yeah... all those guys in ND's towns who sit at tables in taverns and drink beer LOVE gays. Who's gonna believe that? Come to one of these pubs with your partner and start kissing... This is fake tolerance and fake information that you were given here.
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