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Because I don't care to be staring at my phone. I want to be enjoying the experience. I don't wish to join Zombie Nation. I HAVE my phone if I need it. I DON'T need it on 24/7 if I'm just walking around on a solo jaunt.
Again...the first time, I had no reason to EXPECT to be in touch with them; one was busy, the other didn't like the weather, so it was decided we'd try another time; it was settled.
The second time, I was just asking if they would be available (again, no pressure) on that date (it's a group trip on short notice; the date wasn't determined by me). There was NO reason she couldn't have simply emailed "yes" or "no" and, as I said, we'd go from there, but she refused.
Again...I'd have switched to text if we had a meeting planned, but we didn't yet.
I concur that neither of us cares all that much, especially now that I know she's yet another of those insufferable tech bullies and snobs.
IMO, the problem is that it was settled for you but not them. It seems you decided for everyone that they wouldn't enjoy it in the rain and you turned off the method by which you'd been in contact with them all the way along. On their side, you did appear to be ignoring them because you were no longer responding.
You need to own your part in this, not criticize everyone else for using technology in a way that doesn't suit you. That IMO, is the control issue.
I can see where they would think I was "ignoring" them that first time (after they totally changed their minds and decided they COULD meet me after telling me they COULDN'T) if they didn't know -- or didn't believe -- that I keep my phone off, but after I explained that, it should've been all good again, it seems to me.
I concur that neither of us cares all that much, especially now that I know she's yet another of those insufferable tech bullies and snobs.
Tech bully and snob? Are you kidding me? She just did exactly what you had already done to her. You had already tried to dictate the manner of communication, she was just doing the same.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewUser
they seem unwilling to give a little.
What? On two separate occasions, the OP essentially said, "I am coming close to where you live to do a very specific thing. If you want to do that specific thing with me, fine. If not, catch you later."
I completely understand why they didn't want to engage further with the OP. They knew the visit had nothing to do with them.
On two separate occasions, the OP essentially said, "I am coming close to where you live to do a very specific thing. If you want to do that specific thing with me, fine. If not, catch you later."
There would have been time AFTER "the thing I wanted to do" to get together, but she volunteered to do the thing with me, as she had never done the thing. And, no, I'm not traveling all that way as rarely as I get to and NOT do the thing.
The second time around, we never got that far; I simply asked if they'd be available the day I was coming (which is beyond my control) without specifying what I'd be doing.
I have unlimited talk, text and quite a lot data for a flat fee of 15/month with T-Mobile. Sometimes people change their minds and you would have known if you left your phone on. It can be on and you not a slave to it. Both of you are too rigid in my opinion.
Granted, we're both too rigid -- or stubborn; family trait. But who was "wrong" in this case?
I think you made a mistake by not leaving your phone on and then you would have gotten her message. But no one is “wrong.” She got mad and is now insisting on her way. It appears now developing a friendship isn’t going to happen.
I think you made a mistake by not leaving your phone on and then you would have gotten her message. But no one is “wrong.” She got mad and is now insisting on her way. It appears now developing a friendship isn’t going to happen.
I disagree, but then I would...
I'm not a person who leaves her phone on all the time, and she was aware of this. When it was determined that a meeting wasn't happening that trip, that was that. She could be disappointed that I didn't get the message, but I don't believe had a right to be "mad" about it. I have the right to not be a slave to my phone if that's how I choose to conduct my life and experience my vacations.
Then there's the fact that I DID text her about the next trip, using her preferred method of communication over my own, and was ignored for 12 days. If she is constantly living on her phone, she obviously got it, so that seems like petty payback.
We concur that this cousin friendship has been nipped in the bud by a clash over technology use.
What a shame!
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