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Diane- I used to work on the Natchez Trace in Ridgeland Ms. at the Mississippi Craft Center. The "Trace" actually goes all the way through the state of Ms. to Natchez which is the southern terminus.
It is beautiful!
I have just arrived in NJ and found a great house in Hillsborough. Being ex-military I have lived in literaly every region of the country. In my opinion, generally nothing can compare to the Northeast. My town is great, my neighborhood safe and quiet, and my kids love all the activity living in Northern New Jersey has to offer. Now I grew up in Yardley, PA and when I initially moved away it was to Florida. Right away I noticed the shortcomings, almost all my classes in High School where with kids in the grade ahead of me, upper middle class gangs where proliferate, and this is in the late 80's, so I can't imagine the way it is now. Another thing to think about, these new sparkling and cheaper locations you are moving to are growing at breadneck speed while NJ is now growing at a very modest rate, so what you see now probably won't change much into the future. I hope everyone the best in their endevours, but you should do extensive research into the demographic statistics of your prospective utopias before you jump in. Case in point, Miramar, FL (gleaming new middle class suburb in the late 80's) now a dump, and will never recover in my opinion.
Diane- I used to work on the Natchez Trace in Ridgeland Ms. at the Mississippi Craft Center. The "Trace" actually goes all the way through the state of Ms. to Natchez which is the southern terminus.
It is beautiful!
I have not been past Holenwald but I will go back and explore. It is most beautiful in the fall.
I want to take the old trace and follow that where there is an old tobacco plantation. We had a sudden storm when I was on it last so I did not get to do that.
I've been reading a bunch of threads here..."I can't stand NJ and I'm leaving", "I left and now I'm coming back", "I moved to the south and they treat me like an outsider", etc.
Now I'm not going to make any judgements on any of you folks. But I am going to share my experiences in the spirit of what this site is about...education and shred information.
I am a Jersey boy, born and bred. I am a slice of NJ, if you will.
Taxes...!! Again...I could go on and on.
So...
There are my experiences. It took us another almost ten years, and the realization that home is a state of mind to decide to leave. The better pay just doesn't really pay off! Childhood memories are exactly that...memories. "What once was..." is intangible.
I'm not trying to push my "yankee-ness" on a new place. I am an outsider who's just going to become a citizen of that new place. No labels. I'ved weighed the good and bad, and done my research extensively. I'm going to be thankful that my kids can go out and play. I'm going to be thankful for a lower cost of living and better outdoor opportunities. I'm going to embrace new things, people, and experiences.
Don't get me wrong. I love NJ, NY, and all of this stuff. But I've left, come back, etc, etc, and can now see a bigger picture. Hope you all can as well...whatever you decide!
Outstanding Post! As adults we try to re-create our childhoods for our children, when in reality it onlyexists in our memories. It's clear that you have done a lot of soul searching. The very best to you and your family in your new home, but you'll always be a Jersey guy at heart. Personally, I feel that if you have the money you can offer your kids an outstanding life here in Jersey. If mom doesen't have to work and can schlep them all over for all their activities, it's great. The quality of life is here IF you can afford it. I don't advocate working 60 hrs.a week just to live comfortably. One more thing, I don't think we impose our "yankeeness" on people when we move from an area, but it's there, within us. It is who we are. I cannot imagine not being the Italian-American Jersey girl that I am. Wherever I go, I will bring that with me.
see...I've got to think that this is the best and most positive useage of this board! Thanks for the kind words, stevemorse; and summering too...very thoughtful and compassionate. Nice to see people being encouraging.
stevemorse...I think it's cool you used the term "woodswoman". One think that I suggest you do is read any of Anne LaBastille's "Woodswoman" series of books. She's a modern lady living with a couple dogs in a cabin in the Adirondacks...and writing about it. You'll be able to find those books in probably any bookstore on your way up to your new home, as well as online.
Honestly, we picked the Roanoke Valley because it is beautiful, mountainous, has the four distinct seasons, has basically all the outdoor activities we could ask for, has a slower pace, has an active job market, and the cost of living is so much less than here in NJ. We were looking at moving upstate awhile back...to the Adirondack park. We have also considered Utah, CO, and Wyoming. But we also have some east coast friends and family we'd like to stay closer to...and the Blue Ridge, I think, are similar to the Adirondacks.
About what summering mentioned...about feeding your heart of natural beauty...
Every summer, the trip(s) to the 'dacks felt like a "recharge". Like for a week, I could shake off the traffic and grime and attitudes and fast pace. I haven't had that as readily available for the past few years. So a buddy and I have taken these trips...these "bro-downs"...extended camping trips to the San Juans of CO, the LaSals of Utah, and this last June out to the Winds, Bighorns, Absarokas, Tetons, and Beartooths of Wyoming and Montana. You tend to come back recharged...and with a new outlook.
The trick is to figure out how to live somewhere awesome all the time...not work yourself to death for 11.5 months in suburbia so you can get your 2 weeks somewhere nice! So that's what we're trying to do...live and work somewhere awesome...where the mountains are right there.
And hey...I'm not really knocking NJ. I was just sharing my experiences there. I love NJ and NYC. I have just found that, in my experience (I'm not saying that this is an "across the board" experience, or that I'm speaking everyone or for all of NJ), the bad is outweighing the good.
Couldn't have put it better!
I too am Jersey born and bred. No other place like it in the country.
We lived for two years in South Dakota while I attended the University in Vermillion. We would have stayed except for two reasons: the winters were extremely harsh and they refused to put chemicals down on the roads so you were left slipping, sliding and hoping you didn't have a bad accident.
Also, our parents were aging and we felt a responsibility to be near them. However, that situation has now changed and thankfully we are at the stage where we can basically pull up stakes and move.
After much research, I too found the Roanoke Valley. It seems to fit the bill perfectly. As much culture, shopping etc. as you want, yet within minutes you're out in the country. It is growing, but it is a controlled growth as the powers that be insist on it keeping its unique natural beauty. And, as my hubby said, it's surrounded by the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains....
I have known too many people who worked so hard, retired and always wanted to move to their "dream house", only for them to fall seriously ill and even pass away. You are so right, we must live in a place that can offer us so much while we can still enjoy it. Also, our homes are supposed to be our sanctuary against the stresses and strains of the outside world. If you are living where such an escape is not possible, then you can never truly relax and "get away from it all".
I've been reading a bunch of threads here..."I can't stand NJ and I'm leaving", "I left and now I'm coming back", "I moved to the south and they treat me like an outsider", etc.
Now I'm not going to make any judgements on any of you folks. But I am going to share my experiences in the spirit of what this site is about...education and shred information.
I am a Jersey boy, born and bred. Grew up middle-to-upper-middle-class in Long Hill Twp in the 70's. Spent weeks of each summer in the Adirondacks. Cruised to the Shore and NYC as a teenager and young adult. I am a slice of NJ, if you will.
As an adult, I have lived on the northern side of Rt 22 in North Plainfield, Bayonne, Berkeley Heights, and Somerville.
When our daughter was born in 1997, we were living in Berkeley Heights. We decided that NJ was no longer the place for us. We were feeling the crunch of the cost of living, and we wanted less stress, better living, and a "slower pace" for our new family. We moved to Florida. We stayed there a total of 9 months. In that 9 months, we found out that although rent was cheaper than NJ, our jobs didn't even cover the lower rent. And we had respectable jobs! We hated the lack of character of the major cities...compared to what we were used to in NYC. It seemed a good portion of those around us were either transients, or transplants from elsewhere (like us). I could go on and on, but I won't. We cut our losses and bailed back to NJ.
Obviously, things hadn't gotten cheaper while we were gone! It took us 2 years to get back on our feet financially, but at least we felt like we were home.
The only thing is that "home" is a state of mind.
We've been back for almost ten years now. And in that ten years, we've seen crime get worse, seen childhood homes and neighborhoods change, seen friends flee, seen quaint houses on small lots torn down and replaced with monstrosities that no longer really have yards or woods between them, seen traffic get nuts, seen children change and become hardened thugs by the time they hit middle school, etc. In 2nd grade, a classmate of my daughter's threatened my little girl...told her "she would wake up breathing through a tube". TV is the option because outside play now means foul graffiti and broken glass on the playgrounds. Going for a run or a walk means dodging broken glass and inhaling car fumes every third or fourth breath. The Watchung Reservation has beer cans, bottles, cigarette butts and trash everywhere. Should we have to drive 5 hours to get somewhere pristine? Taxes...!! Again...I could go on and on.
So...
There are my experiences. It took us another almost ten years, and the realization that home is a state of mind to decide to leave. The better pay just doesn't really pay off! Childhood memories are exactly that...memories. "What once was..." is intangible.
I'm not trying to push my "yankee-ness" on a new place. I am an outsider who's just going to become a citizen of that new place. No labels. I'ved weighed the good and bad, and done my research extensively. I'm going to be thankful that my kids can go out and play. I'm going to be thankful for a lower cost of living and better outdoor opportunities. I'm going to embrace new things, people, and experiences.
Don't get me wrong. I love NJ, NY, and all of this stuff. But I've left, come back, etc, etc, and can now see a bigger picture. Hope you all can as well...whatever you decide!
I really enjoyed your honesty in this post. Most people who have transplanted to NC, where I am now, seem to have moved here for better job opportunities. They say they wouldn't go back, but when they hear my accent, (Upstate, NY) they can't wait to ask where I came from, where they came from, and to talk of "home". The jobs aren't as plentiful in Upstate, NY. ( Yes, they do have jobs in NY,) If I see a car with a NY license plate, I have to ask them where they are from. I don't know if it is still homesickness after three years in NC, or that I don't have to repeat what I say ten or more times, or put a southern accent on what I say so people will understand. My boss, who was originally from NJ changed her accent to a real southern accent. I can't understand why you would want to change who you are. It sounds so "fake". I know southerners get upset thinking we are trying to change them into Northeners. I get upset when people when to change the way I speak. "I" think it is easier to talk about "home" to someone who knows about it. When I talk to southerner's about NY, they take it as an insult, which it isn't intended to be at all. I am just talking about "home". NY memories will always be my home. It is where I grew up and lived for over 50 years.
Like you, I decided I really wanted to go back, and fortunately after rehashing it many times with my husband, I did come to see what we do have to be thankful for. Two good jobs, great friendly people, our own place, services right in our city for our handicapped son, (usually we had to travel to a city and wait hours for him to be seen.), and it only took us two years to get back on our feet. Store personel have been so kind to our son. One store has even offered him a job, starting next year! So, home is where you make it. Thanks again, for helping me solve my answer to wanting to move back home. If I need cooler tempatures, and some snow I can travel to the mountains, or look for a camp farther north, to go on week-ends. We will retire probably in Va, and be happy with what we have.
nymunga...I'm glad you read it in the spirit in which it was written. And I'm glad that it helped!
I'll always be a NY'orker, no matter where I live. It's okay, now to carry on with what I have chosen. It's nice to see a different perspective. I was worried that I would move back to NY, and then in a few years again, wonder why I moved back and didn't stay where I was. I hope you are happy now where you are!
I too am a Jersey native but am from the southern part of the state. Here, too, is traffic and I'm sure a good share of thug kids, but I think this area is a bit easier to live in than the northern part of the state. Taxes and housing prices are lower (not low, but everyone in Jersey knows that), and you can easily get away from it all in less than an hour. The proximity to Philadelphia ensures opportunities for the arts, and there are fabulous restaurants in this part of the state. The location is good as well for other areas, with NYC, DC, Baltimore, the Poconos, and the shore about 2 hours away. We have civic pride, farmers markets, cafes, and parks. The only thing I don't like about NJ is the taxes, which are ridiculous. But you can't have it all.
Besides moving back to NJ, I am also looking into PA. I just CANNOT stay here in FL.
I too moved from New Jersey to Central Florida, yea it is cheaper here but no jobs and I miss my family and friends back in Jersey terribly. I too hate it here! But I have no choice....I cannot go back! Probably if I was here with the right person I would enjoy this state more. There is alot to do here!
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Excellent!
Thanks again
