Minnesota Not-So Nice (house, high school, to live in)

[RJ8089]

An observation after a grocery store visit this morning… I have been in Minnesota for about 8 months now (as an Adult I have lived in 14 States), and from what I have seen as a minority person, Minnesota is one of the coldest (as in attitudes in general) and unwelcoming people I have ever dealt with. You’ll say something like “hi” when walking past someone and you’ll be met with silence and offish looks. What is wrong with this place? Have the citizens been taxed into depression or just prejudice. And don’t give me that “Blue State” or “inclusive” nonsense. I don’t think politics matters. People are friendlier in Ohio, Michigan, Indiana, and even Illinois for that matter.

[Isaysos]

People are people, some rude some friendly. Save yourself the long winters and frosty people and move to Texas or Florida like everyone else. Too many people here anyway.

[bfrabel]

It probably doesn't have much to do with you being a minority. I think many in Minnesota just like to keep to themselves. I'm like that. I don't have many friends and in general I hate to engage in small talk. I don't mind helping people who ask for help, and I do consider myself to be a "nice" person, I just am not smiling all of the time trying to make friends with everybody.


I've lived in my house for about 20 years and could probably tell you the names of about 3 of my neighbors. I will smile and wave to them if I see them outside, but I'm not going to walk over and try to find out their whole life stories. If that makes me "cold" and "unwelcoming", then so be it.

[old fed]

you might be confused as to what 'Minnesota nice' actually means.

[Teak]

Originally Posted by RJ8089

An observation after a grocery store visit this morning… I have been in Minnesota for about 8 months now (as an Adult I have lived in 14 States), and from what I have seen as a minority person, Minnesota is one of the coldest (as in attitudes in general) and unwelcoming people I have ever dealt with. You’ll say something like “hi” when walking past someone and you’ll be met with silence and offish looks. What is wrong with this place? Have the citizens been taxed into depression or just prejudice. And don’t give me that “Blue State” or “inclusive” nonsense. I don’t think politics matters. People are friendlier in Ohio, Michigan, Indiana, and even Illinois for that matter.

I think you showed the answer in your own post. You have lived many other places, so have I. My experience is that many in Minnesota, who have never lived anywhere else, have their close set of friends and family and don't feel a need for expanding that circle. "Us four and no more" kind of sums it up. I can explain the dynamic by an example.

I used to live in a city which had a large fluctuating population, people moving in and out, due to a military base. People new to an area are more open to making new friends since their old "support structure" of friends, e.g., where they went to high school, is gone. Then I moved to city that had little fluctuation, where people basically stayed put their entire lives, and that place was extremely insular. You had to have gone to high school with most of those people for them to want to include you.

Weather also makes a difference. People seem to be more friendly on warm, sunny days than on cold, overcast days. And Minnesota sure has a lot of those cold, overcast days.

[bfrabel]

Originally Posted by old fed

you might be confused as to what 'Minnesota nice' actually means.

That's not a very 'Minnesota nice' thing to say. I think you might have just proved the whole point of this thread.

[old fed]

Originally Posted by bfrabel

That's not a very 'Minnesota nice' thing to say. I think you might have just proved the whole point of this thread.

it is not meant as a compliment to minnesotans. it is somewhat pejorative, sort of like 'bless your heart' in the south.

as someone born/raised in the state I'm just trying to clear up a misconception for you.

it's a common misconception by non-residents.

[Sand&Salt]

Originally Posted by old fed

it is not meant as a compliment to minnesotans. it is somewhat pejorative, sort of like 'bless your heart' in the south.

as someone born/raised in the state I'm just trying to clear up a misconception for you.

it's a common misconception by non-residents.

So what exactly does it mean? I assume it's a "fake nice"---superficial only, just to look good.

I spent lots of time in MN and can't say I've noticed that. My relatives there are stoic, yet cheerful, lol.

[old fed]

Originally Posted by Sand&Salt

So what exactly does it mean? I assume it's a "fake nice"---superficial only, just to look good.

I spent lots of time in MN and can't say I've noticed that. My relatives there are stoic, yet cheerful, lol.

sort of like that, yeah. nice to your face, not so much when you turn around. we're nice to your face because that's how we were raised. it's not so much based on not liking someone as not enjoying people in your space. it's sort of a scandi thing I've been told. Finns especially (me) feel this. more generalization (see below) but with a bit of truth woven in.

it's a generalization of a part of the country like all other non-sensical generalizations that have maybe a modicum of truth but don't hold up for the most part. but generalizations are fun and easy.

[Yosh01]

The whole "Minnesota Nice" thing is a mythological concept designed to make people feel superior to others. It's an antidote to Minnesotan's inferiority complex.