Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think pride will eventually be like so many other festivals or parades that have roots in a particular tradition or cause or ethnicity, but are eventually significantly altered from their original meaning. After all, lots of the people at Pride are straight. Kind of like everyone of every ethnic background puts on green at St. Patrick's Day. People like a good party and the excuse to dress up and dance in the street and be part of the public festivities. And of course lately people really do feel like they have something special to celebrate on the GLBT rights front.
Part of me does kind of wonder if at some point, the gay pride events should ultimately stop. If you want to be treated no different than heterosexuals, do events such as the parades contribute to keeping that difference there by highlighting the differences in such a strong way. Especially now that gay marriage is becoming so supported. Yes, of course there is still a long way to go, but the tides have already turned and the momentum is there.
I guess the same question could be posed of Black History month. But I think that is different starting right with the name. Black History. Taking the time to reflect on the past struggles and what it took to get where we are today. Yes, the month also focuses on continuing the struggles for racial equality, but by focusing first on the history of the movement, I think it better justifies it's existence. While there are plenty of African-American performances, etc during the month, they aren't "I'm black, let me show you how black I am!". They simply exhibit black culture.
Where I think the Gay Pride events put people off a bit more because it focuses so much on the differences. "Treat me the same!" says the parade participant, as they walk along in a big get up looking and acting markedly different than a straight person. At what point does the straight person have to say, "Listen, you won. We support you. We've heard your call. You don't have to do this anymore." Or is the point of Gay Pride events TO celebrate the differences and not assimilate?
Pride isn't really about "we're the same as you" or anything of the like. Pride is a confrontation. It's an assertion that the LGBT community has a right to peacefully and equally co-exist. The tired mantra, "We're here, we're *****, get used to it" actually isn't that far off.
Quote:
Originally Posted by queenswake
For many gay people I have met, being gay seems to be their entire identity. It's almost like the coping mechanism has been to be so overt about their sexual orientation. But now that it's more accepted, does you still need to put up that front 24/7? At what point do you move on and just become a member of society like everyone else?
This is likely more a case of confirmation bias than reality. You walk past likely dozens, if not hundreds, of gay people on a daily basis. You just don't know it. But when someone starts talking about their sexuality and it becomes apparent that they're gay, well then 100% of the people you've noticed that are gay today are, in fact, talking about their sexuality.
There are as many types of gay people as there are straight people. Some will express their sexuality more visibly than others. But nobody should need to "move on" or "just become a member of society like everyone else". Why aren't gay people part of society right now?
Quote:
Originally Posted by queenswake
My last comment is that I think the gay community is done a disservice by the overtly sexualized images many gays try to promote in parades and in other events. It has nothing to do with the fact that the sexuality protrayed is between those of the same sex. Anyone watching a parade doesn't want to see that between people of any sexual combination. And it does not help the gay cause. It promotes a stereotype that the anti-homosexual crowd already holds about you. So why fuel that fire? Why is the one thing you are showcasing about yourself to the world your overt sexuality? How is that going to help the gay opposition to think of you on better terms? How is that gay opposition going to think of you any better than straight people flaunting their sexuality? Shouldn't you instead be promoting the other things that make you wonderful and just like a straight person?
The world is already oversaturated with hyper-sexual displays. Most heterosexual people don't even think twice about them because it's so ingrained and fits within normative confines. Think about the ads you see on TV or the comments people make around the water cooler or the music, movies, and magazines the average person consumes. Take that magazine cover or Victoria's Secret ad and replace it with something more...errrr, "gay friendly"...and suddenly it goes from something you'd walk right past to, "Oh my goodness, the gays are so focused on sex!"
The gay community owes absolutely nothing to the anti-gay crowd. Would you give the time of day to someone who despises the core of your being, someone who thinks what you're doing is deeply immoral, someone who thinks you will burn in the pits of hell, someone who thinks you can be cured by praying the gay away or attending a conversion therapy session? Of course civil dialogue should be held (it's how the Vote No campaign was so successful). Of course we should highlight the shared humanity and need for equality for all in the LGBT community. But it's not about making the anti-gay crowd feel better.
There's a time and a place for showing the similarities the LGBT community shares with the world at large (in fact, in most aspects they are very much alike) and there's a place to celebrate the community's uniqueness. Pride is the latter.
Pride isn't really about "we're the same as you" or anything of the like. Pride is a confrontation. It's an assertion that the LGBT community has a right to peacefully and equally co-exist. The tired mantra, "We're here, we're *****, get used to it" actually isn't that far off.
This is likely more a case of confirmation bias than reality. You walk past likely dozens, if not hundreds, of gay people on a daily basis. You just don't know it. But when someone starts talking about their sexuality and it becomes apparent that they're gay, well then 100% of the people you've noticed that are gay today are, in fact, talking about their sexuality.
There are as many types of gay people as there are straight people. Some will express their sexuality more visibly than others. But nobody should need to "move on" or "just become a member of society like everyone else". Why aren't gay people part of society right now?
The world is already oversaturated with hyper-sexual displays. Most heterosexual people don't even think twice about them because it's so ingrained and fits within normative confines. Think about the ads you see on TV or the comments people make around the water cooler or the music, movies, and magazines the average person consumes. Take that magazine cover or Victoria's Secret ad and replace it with something more...errrr, "gay friendly"...and suddenly it goes from something you'd walk right past to, "Oh my goodness, the gays are so focused on sex!"
The gay community owes absolutely nothing to the anti-gay crowd. Would you give the time of day to someone who despises the core of your being, someone who thinks what you're doing is deeply immoral, someone who thinks you will burn in the pits of hell, someone who thinks you can be cured by praying the gay away or attending a conversion therapy session? Of course civil dialogue should be held (it's how the Vote No campaign was so successful). Of course we should highlight the shared humanity and need for equality for all in the LGBT community. But it's not about making the anti-gay crowd feel better.
There's a time and a place for showing the similarities the LGBT community shares with the world at large (in fact, in most aspects they are very much alike) and there's a place to celebrate the community's uniqueness. Pride is the latter.
So long story short, what you're saying is the LGBT are different from straights in more ways than just their sexual orientation. As an aside, doesn't this whole conversation of a bunch of straight people talking about gays like they are alien to the rest of society strike you as a bit condescending? Perhaps you are gay and speak with some authority, I don't know.
First of all, if you're straight, be glad you don't need a Pride Day. Because from my perspective - you get 95% more choices when it comes to dating and potential marriages! you get to have kids! you get to be part of a larger society that isn't as riddled with addictions, mental health problems, and people who are so lost about the truth of their sexual orientation, they will likely never be able to date. Because here's what I get to deal with:
If you are gay, and have come out, don't expect other gay people to do a thing for you. Support, companionship; advocacy? Forget it. You better get used to doing everything for yourself by yourself. There is no gay community. Just a lot of very narcissistic, rude, self-important gay men who are only interested in your age, what you look like, how much money you have, how many doctorate degrees you have and where you got them, what kind of car you drive and most important...what YOU can do for THEM. Gay men are still a very anonymous, don't-you-dare-acknowledge-me-in-public community. It's all about image and what the straight world sees - I'm talking mostly about all these states with marriage rights. And that's wonderful. Until you realize that most gay men, because we make up such a small percentage of people, haven't even dated anyone longer than three months by the time we reach 45. How on earth are we going to have successful marriages when we don't even know where to find other gay men to date, and when we do, we don't have any of the tools needed to be in a healthy, sober adult relationship? Why doesn't the gay community ever talk about the suicide rate - among not only teens but grown gay men and women as well - plus our addictions to substances because nobody knows how to talk to each other or befriend each other? No matter what big city you go to, and I've been to many, gay people are the most isolated individuals on the planet. We aren't understood or welcomed by straight society yet, but worse, we despise and resent each other for not being the fantasy of what we had in mind before coming out.
The days before coming out we are told gay people could be anyone, anywhere....so we envision exactly that. Only after we come out do we find out that stereotype is often true, and we are devastated. That strong athletic guy you have been waiting for is nowhere to be found. Most of your reality in terms of other gay men is 20 years older and 100 pounds fatter than that fantasy, lacking any self-confidence, and having little, if anything, in common with you. So now not only do you find yourself excluded from straight society, but from gay society as well. This is when life gets extremely dark for gay people. We aren't a community. Most of us never even speak to another gay person our entire lives because we can't stand each other.
So again - be glad you're not living your life by yourself, with no shot at a partner, no chance at love, pretty much nothing at all except the fact that you're going to be alone for the rest of your life. And if you're so dim-witted that you think you're above gay people socially, I'd like to see how long you'd last in my shoes with this as your life before you decide to take your life. You wouldn't be able to handle it. Any straight person who had my reality as their own - no lover, ever - no chance at having kids - you'd kill yourselves in a year. I'm sure of it. I'm strong because I don't know any other way. I knew I was gay when I was 15. And I deal with it because somehow by being here and living life it makes me stronger.
That's what gay pride is. And you're right - you'd never understand it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
