[push0d]

Hello everyone. I've been lurking around these forums for a while, but have only just joined in order to ask a question.

I am gay, and live with my partner and young daughter in Oklahoma City. We're both pretty much done with this place, and were looking to move north.

We have spent time in Michigan and absolutely love the state - particularly those cold winters So at the moment it is one of the places we are considering.

Ideally, we would like a town of between 25,000 - 100,000 (max), with a strong community feeling that is also fairly liberal, gay-friendly and accepting. We are not bleeding heart liberals (my partner is actually quite conservative), but doubt we'd be accepted in a conservative community in the same way (if our Oklahoma experience has taught us anything). My husband is an occupational therapist and I stay at home with our daughter at the moment.

We aren't looking for a thriving gay nightlife, we just want acceptance from our neighbors, for both ourself and, most importantly, our daughter.

Thanks!

[detwahDJ]

The Saugatuck/Douglas/Fennville area is arty, touristy, and has gay owned and friendly businesses.
A local’s guide to gay Saugatuck/Douglas, Michigan - GayCities Blog
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/08/25/re...anted=all&_r=0

There is way too much to post about Saugatuck/Douglas. Probably a good idea to pay a visit and network, especially places like the Dunes resort. Most of the coastal towns are gay-friendly, and they cater to them economically.
If you google these places, you'll get lots of hits.
Grand Rapids Gay Pride 2013 - Western Michigan Gay Pride 2013 - Saugatuck Gay Pride 2013

[push0d]

Ah, thanks for the suggestions, I've heard good things. Surprising that towns so close to Holland, MI (shudder) can be such a magnet for gays

[magellan]

Originally Posted by push0d

Ah, thanks for the suggestions, I've heard good things. Surprising that towns so close to Holland, MI (shudder) can be such a magnet for gays

Saugatuck has a long history in the art world, particularly with the Oxbow School there. That art history drew a lot of artists to the community, and generally artists are more open to other cultures and sexual orientations. It became known as an artist colony throughout the Midwest and even to the East Coast, drawing people from all over. It still tends to have its conservative slant (they had a sculpture of a naked boy removed from the front lawn of city hall, that was part of an art hop event) but typical midwestern and not Southern conservatism. It has also has a couple of gay-friendly resorts, that look more like Miami than Michigan.

It's a nice place with a year round community (not just summertime), but the several people I know who live there say it's pretty quiet in the winter.

Other than Saugatuck, in that size range you'd really only be looking at Ann Arbor as the other alternative, and it's about 300,000 if you count the whole metro area. It still feels like a small town though. Everything else in Michigan is bigger or way smaller, or part of a megalopolis like the Detroit region.

I wouldn't rule out places like Grand Rapids or Kalamazoo. They're bigger than what you're looking for but you'll find neighborhoods in each that have a small town community-minded progressive feel to them.

[snoopygirlmi]

Honestly, if I was gay and I had the choice, I wouldn't look at GR or Kalamazoo. Kalamazoo might be a liberal haven w/the colleges, but once you get out of the city, it's farm country and conservative. I would possibly consider Lansing, if I wanted to live in Mid-Michigan.

GR is a thriving community which gives it high marks, but tolerance is slow there. I have a Jewish friend who lived there over his high school years and was pretty miserable because of the culture. He was happy to move to Kalamazoo for college, but he was still leery about getting close to the locals. A lot of bad experiences w/conservative Christians. We became friends after I convinced him that I wasn't out to "save his soul" and I was okay that Jesus was Jewish. I'm not sure how much that has changed in the past 15 years.

Every community has progressive pockets, but that doesn't mean they win elections or are remotely competitive in the area. It sounds like that's something that would matter to you.

Personally, I live where I live because it's a "red" city and a "red" county in a purple state and it feels like its own small town. It doesn't feel like its a part of the Detroit Metro area, like the inner ring suburbs do. However, it isn't that conservative because a lot of liberals live in the area.

I really wouldn't be leery of looking at some of the outer ring/exburbs of Detroit, especially if you are looking for some place more "tolerant" and "progressive". Compared to where I grew up, this is where "liberal hippies" live and Rochester Hills isn't "that" liberal, but it's definitely not uber-conservative either. It's all about prospective and what you know.

Good luck.

[snoopygirlmi]

Saugatuck is in north Allegan county. I'm not saying it's a bad place, but Allegan County tends to elect conservatives.

It might be paradise for a gay vacation, but I wouldn't recommend living there long-term as a gay couple/family. Again, just my opinion, based on my experiences. Obviously, others will think that I'm crazy. I'm okay with that.

However, if I had a choice, I'd seriously look at SE Michigan or Ann Arbor. It's the liberal part of the state and I think your partner would have better experiences being gay/conservative on this side of the state than in West Michigan. (Actually, I know he would!)

[detwahDJ]

Originally Posted by snoopygirlmi

Saugatuck is in north Allegan county. I'm not saying it's a bad place, but Allegan County tends to elect conservatives.

It might be paradise for a gay vacation, but I wouldn't recommend living there long-term as a gay couple/family. Again, just my opinion, based on my experiences. Obviously, others will think that I'm crazy. I'm okay with that.

However, if I had a choice, I'd seriously look at SE Michigan or Ann Arbor. It's the liberal part of the state and I think your partner would have better experiences being gay/conservative on this side of the state than in West Michigan. (Actually, I know he would!)

I think that's correct. Allegan city, the county seat, itself seems to be pretty right-wing and possibly low-tolerance. That's why I suggest a new resident contact the gay community in the Saugatuck to-Fennville area to see how they are coping. The gay community seems to have grown substantially over the last ten years or so, and "movers and shakers" there would have inside information.
To the OP:
Holland to Grand Rapids is sort of a "bible belt". For instance you will find that Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck are popular role models and media heroes in that region. The local media is dominated by such voices - not much different from everywhere else.
http://michiganradio.org/post/recent...ational-trends

[beachmouse]

And yet Grand Rapids voted for Obama last time around. The right wing nutters there have given up on the city proper in favor of the I-196 and US 131 corridor suburbs. The down side of the gay-friendly parts of GR is that you're probably going to be in Grand Rapids public schools district, which is rather a mess. And while there are schools of choice transfers and charter schools, etc. it's one more thing to have to wrangle.

If you're at all okay with metro Detroit, have a look at Berkley- great schools, very safe, and a reasonable cost of living and adjacent to 'Fabulous Ferndale' for those times when you feel like being something other than a stay at home Dad. Nearby Royal Oak is trendier, but housing costs are higher, and the schools aren't quite as good.

[Fripper]

Traverse City.

[detwahDJ]

Originally Posted by beachmouse

And yet Grand Rapids voted for Obama last time around. The right wing nutters there have given up on the city proper in favor of the I-196 and US 131 corridor suburbs. The down side of the gay-friendly parts of GR is that you're probably going to be in Grand Rapids public schools district, which is rather a mess. And while there are schools of choice transfers and charter schools, etc. it's one more thing to have to wrangle.

If you're at all okay with metro Detroit, have a look at Berkley- great schools, very safe, and a reasonable cost of living and adjacent to 'Fabulous Ferndale' for those times when you feel like being something other than a stay at home Dad. Nearby Royal Oak is trendier, but housing costs are higher, and the schools aren't quite as good.

Actually, so did Holland proper, but Ottawa county was another story. I attribute it to the growing Latino working population there. White flight??