Moving to Long Island (New York, Oyster Bay: middle-class, house prices, to buy)

[NickL28]

Originally Posted by GypsySoul22

Have you gotten a teaching job here? It's very old boy network..good luck..I've been trying for years and I am a native..

I've lived in a variety of states, countries and in different cities on Long Island. Sadly, it's gone down hill here in one or two generations. People like my parents came from NYC or Brooklyn or Queens for a bit of the country life. In the 38 years on and off, I have seen it go from a nice area to a lot like Queens (more crime, crowding, racial problems, too many poor people who can't live on a working wage). We've been trying to move 3 years but it's hard to know WHERE to go.

I also have to agree about the class difference. It's a very materialistic culture here..what you own will make you popular, along with how much you own and where you own it. People without pools, second cars (YOU NEED 2 cars, but I only have one so I know this for a fact), a good home (renting is mostly 'illegal apartments), will make you a pariah.

Also for a place only 1-3 hours (depending on your town) from NYC, there is very little culture. People are obsessed with shopping at row stores and eating out. We try to go to parks, do simple things like that. Any activities you want to put your kids in are jammed up (like library programs) and you have to line up to get them in things. (like when the library opens). Sad way to live, really.

You have been looking to move for 3 years but you don't know where to go?? That is so funny that it is pathetic. There is a whole country west of the hudson river that is doing well economically and where you don't need to make over $200,000 a year in order to buy a tiny 1500 square foot home in a bad area.

I agree with you on the other aspects of Long Island. It is no different here in Queens. People live and die by their purchases and mostly act rude, aggressive & confrontational toward others especially others who aren't in their little circle. Life is about shopping and sporting events. I can't think of anything else that people do outside of work.

And owning a home is really not a goal here anyway. Most still live at home with parents well into their 30's even though they may make in the six figures. Somehow driving a $50,000 car or $70,000 SUV is more important than planning for the future and the only way they get a house is if they inherit one or if parents make the down payment & pay the mortgage.

But you don't where to go?? Well enjoy paying property + school taxes year after year and having 5 figures of credit card debt just to keep up with your neighbors..

[NYSinger]

I still find that there are a lot more things to do in Queens and Manhattan than here.

[GypsySoul22]

[quote=NickL28]You have been looking to move for 3 years but you don't know where to go?? That is so funny that it is pathetic. But you don't where to go?? Well enjoy paying property + school taxes year after year and having 5 figures of credit card debt just to keep up with your neighbors..[/QUOTE



We've been close (interviews via phone) but no offers. I'd like to see how brave many people are to move without jobs (we did this in the early 90s when it was just my husband and myself and there were a lot of jobs). Now we have to provide for a child and it's hard to take a risk.

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I don't have credit card debt. We'd prefer to be on our own and we WILL find a better place. I just don't want to jump on the go south bandwagon (no offense to anyone in the south) then regret it!!

I feel better looking at this site and realizing many people have the same problem.

[NickL28]

Originally Posted by NYSinger

I still find that there are a lot more things to do in Queens and Manhattan than here.

No, but the mentality of the people is the same as those on Long Island. Classism is as evident or more so than in Nassau or Suffolk. This need to buy things is astounding even as people are willing to go thousands in debt and put off investing for the future just to have the latest trendy fashions.

One is judged solely by what they are wearing & what they are driving. Clothes & Cars are everything outside of Manhattan. Most of Queens has become yuppie central where you need to make at least $100,000 a year in order to just make ends meet. It actually is cheaper to rent in parts of Nassau than in the majority of Queens.

And with costs the way they are, how can one afford to do these things anyway? When you actually need to pay rent or mortgage other than relying on a parent or spouse to take care of you or have a family then life is more than partying at overpriced trashy clubs & eating at overtrendy but bad restauratns.

[NYSinger]

Being an artist on Long Island sucks. Not much culturally going on. Met museum, lovely cafes and lounges? Not here! There are materialistic people everywhere and I am not one of them. Having fun is one thing, but showing everybody you have money is not me.

Forget about buying a starter house here with those overpriced homes and overpriced taxes...

So let me ask you, what makes you stay in Queens then?

[GypsySoul22]

I have to agree with NickL even if it rubs some people the wrong way (we're all entitled to our opinions). The majority of people on Long Island are very materialistic. I have lived here on and off for 40 years and I see it daily. If you don't have anything to offer (nice pool, a second car to get you around, a good house, lovely furnishings, a boat..) people treat you with great contempt or ignore you.

I am sure there are probably some 'normal/non-materialistic' people on the Island (my husband and I are 2), but such people are few and far between. I find most people are so busy living through their kids (who MUST be in 4 or 5 activities weekly or they are 'outcasts') or just trying to make ends meet that finding 'nice friends' is impossible. If you don't play the game (we don't) you wind up alone a lot!

I do agree strongly with Nick. I have lived in several other places in the world and here you see materialism at its worst. Also, he's right about 'lack of culture' on Long Island. People go to row stores, the mall, and out to some cruddy restaurant or club and think they've lived!

If you mention simple things (going to the park or the seashore, collecting pebbles, bugs, or whatever) most people look at you like you are insane. I have come to the conclusion people don't LIKE spending time with their children!

[Janis]

Sound like most of your advice tends to direct you to the middle part out on the island or to the expensive north and south shores and yes those areas are nice but there are plenty of nice areas in Valley stream, 20 mins. from the city not during morning rush hour and Lynbrook too. You would also be near JFK, 5 mins from Valley Stream area. 20 mins to the beach. Somewhere in and aound Wheeler Ave area of Valley Stream. The farther out on the island you live the longer you commute to the city to do something because even on the weekends it can take forever to get to NYC. It might be cheaper out there so what you need the most is what you need to look at. Go to the realestate listings and search those towns to get a feel for what property sell for. hope this helps.

[x33]

I am going to be starting a new job on LI(in East Northport). Which is a better area to live in, Bay Shore or Deer Park?

[GypsySoul22]

I don't know about Deer Park but avoid the 'town of Bay Shore' particularly after dark/the train station/whatever at night. You could try the "Islip" part of Bay Shore.

South of Montauk HWY, Bay Shore is considered 'exclusive' (expensive). There aren't that many apartments around Bay Shore, but there are some complexes. Do you have children to consider?

Both towns are not near E. Northport, why are you choosing them? What about an apartment/home closer to N. Port? The South to East commute is a pain in the butt.

[x33]

I am living on my own.