Adoptee Support

I wish there was a pamphlet. It would make things a lot easier. I've become a lot more able and willing to stand my ground since I reunited with my mother and her family. I do point out that there are a great number of different viewpoints and outcomes and generalizations are difficult if not impossible. Agreement is not necessary.

I have a question for the group. I should already know how to handle this, but thought I'd bring this up here because, well, I do need support.

Earlier this evening, I met with a small group of progressive thinkers in a meet-up group in a coffee shop. I joined this online group to meet in person with like-minded people who are atheists. Now, without getting too lost in my own spiritual development/rational thought based on science, I have to say that on many threads here I've talked about prayer. I'm not contradicting myself, there's a certain sprituality/meditative aspect to centering, etc. But I've recently "come out" as an atheist. So tonight, I was the outsider coming into an already formed discussion group of atheists.

We all had that in common. They wanted to know how I found out about the group. I said that on Facebook, last year, I connected to the local atheist group. But this meet-up group said they were sort-of different from the Facebook group and what did I do on Facebook besides waste time? So I said that I do social activism. Which then lead into the question, what type of social activism do you do?

I said I do adoption reform activism and that I'm an anti-adoptionist. I didn't want to make the whole discussion about me and activism. They asked me what I meant. So I explained about sealed and falsified birth certificates and about coercion of parents to give up their babies and adoptees' loss. So, a very young man, in his mid-20s, and obviously well-versed into atheism, copped an attitude with me and said, "Well, I take issue with you already. My two older siblings are adopted and I was born into the family, so I beleive in adoption and I love my siblings."

I was feeling cornered in a group I thought would be welcoming, as I wanted inteligent conversation about science and reason. So I said, " I'm not saying not to love your adopted siblings, and I'm not saying they don't love you, and I'm not saying that your parents are any less parents for the two adopted sons than for you, their born-to son. I'm saying that there are problems in adoption, and I've had 39 years of experience in this field, so please don't feel threatend."

The guy calmed down a bit, but still, I felt that I was being grilled because of being a social activist. Again. In a small group, who just happened to be 7 men and myself, one female.

How do you here deal with this type of situation? Do you feel attacked because of your adoption activism? How do you deal with personal attacks? How do you explain to someone who is hostile to you in person? Online is different as there is time to think of explanation or rebuttle. In person, in a restaurant (where we were), I was outnumbered by men who were not informed in the slightest of adoptees' personal and civil rights violations. I was scared.

Just like the religious fanatics who carry Jesus-pamphlets, do you think I should carry a small article, quotes, something in writing to give to people?

There are no support groups in my city for adoptees. Help!

Woot! We're already the second largest adoption group on C-D!