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We have a six-year-old female, Mini Aussie (Hannah) that we've had since she was six months old. We brought her into our family when she was six months old. At that time, we had another dog, a male, that crossed the rainbow bridge last September. Hannah is very high energy and always loved playing with our dog who passed away. In October, we adopted a six-month-old male, Mini Goldendoodle (Winston). It was love at first sight. From the very beginning, the two of them absolutely loved rough-housing, wrestling, etc. It was clearly all in fun.
About a week ago, we heard, but did not see, the two of them fighting. It was loud and scary but very short-lived (less than five seconds). We're not sure what happened, but we suspect that Winston did something to irritate Hannah. She's been giving him the cold shoulder ever since. Maybe I'm being silly, but this is really upsetting me. I just loved watching them play. Have any of you ever had anything like this happen, and did the hard feelings ever resolve themselves? We've still got years ahead of us with these dogs, and I'd hate to see them live out their lives simply co-existing when they had been such good buddies for six months.
Is it possible that Winston has tried to assert himself as the dominant dog, and now they're in a stand-off until the dominant position is resolved?
I suppose that's possible. Hannah has always been the dominant dog and for the first almost six months that we had Winston, he seemed fine with that. I know that even though he has been neutered, he is constantly trying to mount Hannah. Maybe that had something to do with it. I really wish I'd seen what took place to start the fight, but I didn't so I can only guess.
Is there no one who has had an experience of this sort? I had really hoped for some guidance. To Clara: How do dogs go about establishing who is the dominant dog? Is this likely what I'm seeing happening. It's breaking my heart to see these two, who were such good friends, acting as if they are the only dog in the household.
Dogs do this every now and then. I have four. The oldest is 15 and the smallest of all of them and she is the packleader. She has to remind the pibble every now and then with a little yelling. It's normal.
Just as in human relationships, there is an ever-changing dynamic in dog relationships. They are elastic—there are ebbs and flows all of the time and, yes, sometimes they don’t get over it (but usually they do).
I don’t think anyone can tell you what will happen but, based on my experience, they had a fight and will sort it out. Eventually. Or not. Whatever happens, you need to respect it rather than impose your expectations for their relationship on them. And you need to stop stressing about it, which doesn’t help.
Just as in human relationships, there is an ever-changing dynamic in dog relationships. They are elastic—there are ebbs and flows all of the time and, yes, sometimes they don’t get over it (but usually they do).
I don’t think anyone can tell you what will happen but, based on my experience, they had a fight and will sort it out. Eventually. Or not. Whatever happens, you need to respect it rather than impose your expectations for their relationship on them. And you need to stop stressing about it, which doesn’t help.
Thank you. Unfortunately "stress" is my middle name.
Are you taking them on shared walks together? Shared outings can help distract them from the home turf and seeing other dogs/people will reinforce who their family is.
I suppose that's possible. Hannah has always been the dominant dog and for the first almost six months that we had Winston, he seemed fine with that. I know that even though he has been neutered, he is constantly trying to mount Hannah. Maybe that had something to do with it. I really wish I'd seen what took place to start the fight, but I didn't so I can only guess.
Winston is growing up. He's a teen. What do teens do? Push boundaries, act snotty, challenge authority, assert themselves. Hannah isn't having it. They'll probably have minor bickers for a while but hopefully without physical damage. Hopefully. They'll either settle into a new relationship or they won't. The tables might turn, and Hannah might not remain the dominant dog forever. Enrolling them in an obedience class or dog sport would burn off some emotional energy and maybe help everyone figure out who's going to remain the boss. The top should be household humans, then one of the dogs. You can help by NOT favoring the underdog. It may seem unfair and counterintuitive, but the dominant dog gets first dibs on things they both value. If you don't support the top dog you can make things worse.
Last edited by Parnassia; 04-16-2024 at 05:48 PM..
Is there no one who has had an experience of this sort? I had really hoped for some guidance. To Clara: How do dogs go about establishing who is the dominant dog? Is this likely what I'm seeing happening. It's breaking my heart to see these two, who were such good friends, acting as if they are the only dog in the household.
Give it time. Something similar happened to me twice, with two different females that I had introduced to the same male (introduced the second female when the first one had died).. The dogs eventually made up and became friends, although with the second female, since there was such a large age difference, of about 9 years, they were more like acquaintances.
In some cases, when the older dog fights with the younger dog, it’s because the youngster is no longer a puppy and has lost its “puppy license” that had allowed it to have a free pass for bratty behavior. The older dog is basically now telling the younger one “enough, you’re no longer a baby—treat me with respect.”
Also, I agree that you shouldn’t stress about it because if you do, you’ll only make things worse. Dogs are pack animals and you are (or should be) the pack leader and be the one in charge.
It’s normal to be concerned, as I know I was. But I felt better after I talked to my dog trainer. What I witnessed was a skirmish—not really a full-fledged fight. No bites. Just a lot of snarling and posturing. My trainer said if the dogs really hated each other they would have drawn blood.
I also like the idea of doing something with them together. A walk is ideal. You’re in charge, showing the way, and they’re a team, going along with you.
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