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I have an 8-year-old mixed breed dog that I got from a shelter when she was a doggie teenager. She's a Jack Russel/Shetland Sheepdog mix. She started off being aloof and, in a lot of ways, she still is. For example, she doesn't like to sleep in my room with me, even though her bed is there. She likes to sleep in the bathroom off my room. When I work during the day, she likes to be on the screened in porch watching the yard. The only time she's really near me is in the evening when she likes to cuddle up while I watch TV or sit under my recliner. She also likes to cuddle a bit before bed, maybe 10 minutes before jumping off the bed to go sleep in the bathroom.
But while she does her own thing in the house, she likes me in the house with her. If I leave, I've been told she howls and cries (even if there is someone else there with her). We've had the same routine for years and I don't think it was much of a problem before. But now it is. And now, if I go into the bathroom and shut the door, she starts crying and whimpering.
I can only assume I am doing something to encourage this. Or maybe it's because my daughter is off at college (this did kind of start not too long after she left). My dog was more of my buddy than hers, but the dog does love her too. But the dog doesn't cry and howl for my daughter like she does when I leave.
What can I do to help her relax? I've tried music, a pet sitter, trying not to make a big deal of my comings and goings, I take her out for exercise every evening until she's tired (takes a while), but she still howls and cries if I leave the house.
I plan to bring this up at her next vet appointment, but I figured, in the meantime, maybe there is some behavior stuff I can do and I hoped someone here might be able to help or at least tell me what really works (seems like there are a lot of things to do, it's hard to focus on what).
It seems like you're doing everything right. I recently lost a beloved dog, and my girl has become more clingy and anxious when I leave the house. She's also bored, which is understandable. It's not bad, but it is noticeable. Also, my girl likes to sleep on the hard floor - carpet, wood or bathroom floor. She's had beds over the year, she just doesn't like them. And she doesn't like sleeping on the bed with me. There are calming chews made by several different companies. They are natural. I wouldn't put a dog on doggie Prozac or anything like that, especially since your dog's case doesn't sound severe enough. It's likely the recent change (your daughter leaving for school?)
Have you tried leaving the house in short intervals. Just walk out without saying anything to the dog, like "be a good girl/boy". Stay out of sight for a minute or two, then come back in, again, not saying anything to the dog. Continue this exercise extending your absence by 5-10 minutes each time.
You could also provide your dog with something to distract him/her, like a Kong stuffed with treats and peanut butter (frozen).
When I got my current dog she had been rehomed by the previous owner for barking when she was left alone. I followed my own advice ^^ and she's been "cured". She was 7 when I got her, but she learned pretty quickly that I wasn't abandoning her. Best of luck!
Your doing the right stuff but we've found that sometimes a dog needs a chemical assist. Maybe her hormones have changed as she aged and she is getting anxious.
Dog Appeasing Hormones work great. We've used a spray on the bedding and found it worked well but these collars get great reviews so if I needed it for your situation I would probably try these.
Have you tried leaving the house in short intervals. Just walk out without saying anything to the dog, like "be a good girl/boy". Stay out of sight for a minute or two, then come back in, again, not saying anything to the dog. Continue this exercise extending your absence by 5-10 minutes each time.
You could also provide your dog with something to distract him/her, like a Kong stuffed with treats and peanut butter (frozen).
This. What I noticed in your OP, OP is that you aren't really rewarding her for the behavior you want...that is, to tolerate her person being out of sight/hearing/smell. To self calm.
Given her breed mix, you probably have a very, very smart keenly attentive dog. If you find yourself giving her more attention when she shows her distress, you're unintentionally rewarding her for the wrong behavior. When she is calm, reward her for it. If she gets anxious/upset, don't reward her with attention by soothing. She needs to learn to do that for herself. Distract her with a chew or puzzle toy before you leave, then leave without any fuss. Burn off some energy before you leave, not at some unrelated later time of day. The repeated short departure routine is time consuming at first but can really help. When you return to the house does she get all excited while greeting you? Do you make a fuss over her when she does? You're unintentionally making returns a bigger deal than they should be. A quick calm hello, then go on about your business would be better. Give her affection once she's calm again instead.
Also becoming more aware of the very first subtle signs of anxiety can help you derail it and re-direct her energy. Little subtleties like tight lips, licking her lips, staring, dilated pupils, rapid blinking, tense body posture, where she places herself in the room/house, etc. By the time she's noticeably upset it's too late. She's beyond listening.
Yes, it is true that some hypervigilant dogs can benefit from anti-anxiety supplements and even medications. Lots of articles about managing separation anxiety out there. Just some starters:
This. What I noticed in your OP, OP is that you aren't really rewarding her for the behavior you want...that is, to tolerate her person being out of sight/hearing/smell. To self calm.
Given her breed mix, you probably have a very, very smart keenly attentive dog. If you find yourself giving her more attention when she shows her distress, you're unintentionally rewarding her for the wrong behavior. When she is calm, reward her for it. If she gets anxious/upset, don't reward her with attention by soothing. She needs to learn to do that for herself. Distract her with a chew or puzzle toy before you leave, then leave without any fuss. Burn off some energy before you leave, not at some unrelated later time of day. The repeated short departure routine is time consuming at first but can really help. When you return to the house does she get all excited while greeting you? Do you make a fuss over her when she does? You're unintentionally making returns a bigger deal than they should be. A quick calm hello, then go on about your business would be better. Give her affection once she's calm again instead.
Also becoming more aware of the very first subtle signs of anxiety can help you derail it and re-direct her energy. Little subtleties like tight lips, licking her lips, staring, dilated pupils, rapid blinking, tense body posture, where she places herself in the room/house, etc. By the time she's noticeably upset it's too late. She's beyond listening.
Yes, it is true that some hypervigilant dogs can benefit from anti-anxiety supplements and even medications. Lots of articles about managing separation anxiety out there. Just some starters:
Your daughter left for college. That might have been a more significant change in your household than you realize. Some threshold may have been exceeded, just enough so she's acting out now. You may have made some assumptions about which family members were more or less important to your dog. Maybe all of you are regardless who seemed to be the dog's "buddy". We can't ask the dog, but it probably did play a part in the shift in behavior.
Assuming she is neutered, have you considered getting a second dog (male neutered) to add to the household?
It might be tricky getting them familiar with one another but a dog friend might help.
Or a cat friend. I have always had cats with my dog and I think it helps to keep the dog calm. The belief is that an anxious dog thinks that you might possibly abandon them (or never come back) when you leave but, if another animal is present, you are less likely to abandon both of them and, even if you did, they still aren’t alone.
Assuming she is neutered, have you considered getting a second dog (male neutered) to add to the household?
It might be tricky getting them familiar with one another but a dog friend might help.
We had a dog with horrible separation anxiety and the only thing that helped was getting another dog. The dog had epilepsy and if left alone for long enough the anxiety would trigger grand mal seizure clusters. So our two options were 1) Never leave her alone 2) Put her nearly into a state of sedation with the seizure medication.
Eventually we figured out that a dog friend satisfied #1. She still had anxiety but it didn't normally reach a level that caused her to have seizures.
We weren't really in a position where we should have two dogs, but the seizure clusters didn't seem to have an end on their own, the only thing that would stop them was injecting drugs. So you can imagine what it was like coming home to a house that was all messed up and a dog having the worst kind of seizures imaginable, and not knowing exactly how long that had been going on. Getting a second dog was much preferable.
Assuming she is neutered, have you considered getting a second dog (male neutered) to add to the household?
It might be tricky getting them familiar with one another but a dog friend might help.
A dog friend helps a lot. I've always been so grateful adding my 2nd dog to our pack. It was a wise choice.
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