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You will never understand what it's like to have a reactive dog until you have one yourself.
My dog has such a limited life because of his reactivity. We don't go to dog parks or regular parks or pet stores or anywhere really. Walks are a rare experience because they are so stressful for him. (We try a little bit farther each time we go.)
Yes, I know my dog barking is annoying, but I need to take him outside to be trained. He loves being outdoors and we do our best to stay in isolated places in the woods and we always stay out of people's way. Comments about training my dog are unnecessary. I understand that your dog is perfect in every single way. Mine is not. He's my heart dog and I love him more than anything else, but he is difficult.
Just be kind when you see someone struggling or a dog that looks like they're having a difficult time. Listen to the owner and stop offering unsolicited advice. Trust me, we've heard it all before and we're doing the best we can. My dog is doing the best he can too
Having a reactive dog can be a lonely experience that affects your entire life. Knowing there are people out there who understand and empathize makes it makes it easier.
You will never understand what it's like to have a reactive dog until you have one yourself.
My dog has such a limited life because of his reactivity. We don't go to dog parks or regular parks or pet stores or anywhere really. Walks are a rare experience because they are so stressful for him. (We try a little bit farther each time we go.)
Yes, I know my dog barking is annoying, but I need to take him outside to be trained. He loves being outdoors and we do our best to stay in isolated places in the woods and we always stay out of people's way. Comments about training my dog are unnecessary. I understand that your dog is perfect in every single way. Mine is not. He's my heart dog and I love him more than anything else, but he is difficult.
Just be kind when you see someone struggling or a dog that looks like they're having a difficult time. Listen to the owner and stop offering unsolicited advice. Trust me, we've heard it all before and we're doing the best we can. My dog is doing the best he can too
Having a reactive dog can be a lonely experience that affects your entire life. Knowing there are people out there who understand and empathize makes it makes it easier.
Our dog has mild reactivity so I can relate. He is not as bad as yours however and has improved greatly. I grew up with Golden Retrievers who loved everyone and always seemed happy. I didn't even know what a reactive dog was until I got one. I struggle with caring about what others think and I am trying to work on that. I think it is important to remember that we care and notice things about our dogs more than anyone else.
Same here. My dog is an aggressive dog-selective rescue, so we are very limited in terms of where we can go and what we can do (no dog parks, dog beaches or, basically, any where that is meant for dogs). And, even worse, my dog LOVES to socialize, especially with people and other dogs [whom he has gotten to know and with whom he is friendly]. Yet, because he is large (GSD) and can be aggressive towards other dogs, I am limited in what we can do. Because of this, I always feel like the life with which I have provided my dog is not good enough.
To make matters worse, as the OP has pointed out, the worst part of having a reactive or aggressive dog is that many dog owners [with non-reactive dogs] treat you--and your dog--like ****. Very few people are understanding and, even if my dog is leashed and something happens, he gets blamed.
I am fortunate that my dog has made friends with a couple of dogs in the neighborhood but the majority of my neighbors speak unkindly about us to others and some of them are just flat out rude to us. I think that the worst part is that I am never rude to them, even when their perfect dogs do not act perfectly. But the hostility towards us is noticeable and hurtful, and there is no compassion or understanding.
I can tell you love your dog very much, as most of us here do as well. You are doing everything right and I have no doubt progress will be made. Hang in there.
You will never understand what it's like to have a reactive dog until you have one yourself.
. . .We don't go to dog parks or regular parks or pet stores or anywhere really. Walks are a rare experience because they are so stressful for him. (We try a little bit farther each time we go.)
. . . My dog is doing the best he can . . .
For anyone struggling with reactivity, these are a good place to start:https://bit.ly/num1dogtraining. Having a reactive dog can be a lonely experience that affects your entire life. Knowing there are people out there who understand and empathize makes it makes it easier.
Quote:
Originally Posted by aboucher33
Our dog has mild reactivity so I can relate. He is not as bad as yours however and has improved greatly. I grew up with Golden Retrievers who loved everyone and always seemed happy. I didn't even know what a reactive dog was until I got one. I struggle with caring about what others think and I am trying to work on that. I think it is important to remember that we care and notice things about our dogs more than anyone else.
Yep. I get this. Mine can be reactive, although in our case it has a lot to do with territorial instincts and guardiness. I've had to restrict our activities, for years, when other dogs, or, in some cases, even people, are around. One thing I've noticed, time and again, that is worth mentioning, is that many other dog owners simply have no idea that other's dogs might be reactive. They are literally clueless, and act out of a general sense of friendliness. As in, continuing to approach you while you are trying to control your dogs, saying something like: "Oh, they're friendly!" Oy. (thinking "Helloooooo! Is anybody home?" is what I would say if I didn't care about being rude!). My typical response (somehow I never quite manage it without a touch of irritation in my voice): "Ok. Mine aren't".
That doesn't tell the whole story though, because mine don't always go off on other dogs. If the other dog isn't a social doggy doofus (like most Goldens and Labs), they usually get a doggy body language response that satisfies them, and they'll do a reasonable meet and greet. Problem is, for me, is that I can't always tell when they're satisfied this dog is ok.
Anyway, after I've said "Mine aren't", the light bulb often visibly goes on, and those people have now learned a valuable new lesson.
Exactly what does that really mean?
If a dog is unsocial or has very bad behaviors am I or us supposed to accept this and go on like it’s nothing?
Should we go out of our way to socialize with it?
Maybe let our dogs or kids play with it.
Do we just do our best to avoid it at the dog park?
If a person has an aggressive or a mean dog even only every now and then it should not be allowed around other dogs or people.
Period.
Exactly what does that really mean?
If a dog is unsocial or has very bad behaviors am I or us supposed to accept this and go on like it’s nothing?
Should we go out of our way to socialize with it?
Maybe let our dogs or kids play with it.
Do we just do our best to avoid it at the dog park?
If a person has an aggressive or a mean dog even only every now and then it should not be allowed around other dogs or people.
Period.
Read the OP. She doesn't take her dog to the dog park or anywhere else where he's around other dogs or people. Sounds like she's trying to work with him in more isolated locations while he's on leash.
Exactly what does that really mean?
If a dog is unsocial or has very bad behaviors am I or us supposed to accept this and go on like it’s nothing?
Should we go out of our way to socialize with it?
Maybe let our dogs or kids play with it.
Do we just do our best to avoid it at the dog park?
If a person has an aggressive or a mean dog even only every now and then it should not be allowed around other dogs or people.
Period.
Your reactive ^^^ response to a reactive dog is not helpful.
The OP means that, if you come across a dog whose owner tells you “My dog is not friendly,” then respect it but still be kind to the owner and the dog.
I love my dog and I am so glad that I have found other people who are not like you and who love him as much as I do because they don’t simply see him as “reactive.” The right attitude can do wonders for a dog who has begun its life as neglected or abused.
Hey I’m a dog lover.
I take dog ownership seriously.
I’ve had and trained dogs all my life.
I take my dogs to the park near everyday and have seen dogs there that should not be allowed out in public that run around there being unsafe to others.
Yeah I might have been a bit gruff and I don’t take it back because it was an honest reply.
I could have said “oh you poor poor thing it will be all right” but that won’t help the person or animal that gets bit.
I’m just not a fan of untrained dogs that will give other dogs or children stitches because they “get triggered”.
The way I see it if you take on the commitment of dog ownership you should take on all the financial aspects of it as well, be that with their healthcare or with their training if you can’t do that.
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