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I got a rescue dog several months ago (she was kept outside to breed at a puppy mill.) The dog had never been socialized. I think, whether by nature or how she was treated, she's shy. I've never seen such an unhappy dog in my life.
Well, she's attached herself to me with a vengeance. I cannot leave the house for more than 20 minutes before she either tries to destroy the crate she's in, or the house in general. Oh, and of course, she has to urinate and defecate like a racehorse, even if she had just gone before I leave.
I've tried crating her. I've tried exercising her. No matter what I do, she barks and goes haywire if I'm gone more than 20 minutes.
I tried putting her in the kitchen with a chew toy, water, a bed, with her held in by a baby gate. She jumped the gate and crapped up the LR. Again.
This is the third rescue dog I've had (the previous ones died of old age.) I think getting a dog is a lifelong committment, but I cannot DO this anymore!
Does anyone have any advice? Drugs? I'll do anything at this point!
She may do better with another dog (or a cat if she's cat friendly) in the house. Would getting a second pet be an option for you? Usually puppy mill dogs respond well if they live with a more confident dog to show them the ropes. It's got to be huge adjustment for her to go from the overcrowding of the puppy mill to being totally alone when you're out. Do you leave the TV or radio on for her when you leave? Hearing voices might help lessen her anxiety.
How much exercise is she getting? Have you tried obedience lessons or agility lessons to give her confidence (and tire her out)? Are you taking her places to work on her socialization? I think anything that builds her confidence and get's her out and around people would help.
If you've tried everything else for the separation anxiety, I'd absolutely try medicating her for a while and see if it helps.
I will second the TY for rescuing her. It is amazing how we tend to forget the work a new pet really is. By the time we have to say goodbye the, dog and owner have to be as comfortable as your favorite jeans - but it did not start out that way.
Your rescue is not just a dog that someone no longer wanted. It is a dog that most likely never had a normal life and never developed emotionally or socially. Getting her to relax is going to take longer then your regular settling in phase.
I have a friend that adopted a similar dog and she worked with her to develop her self confidence. She enrolled her in obedience classes - for the exposure to people and dogs as well as for obedience. She took her agility classes and walks that included visiting as many people and new places as possible. It took a long time and she still has some issues but she flies with her in the cabin every year and she does great!
Have patience and see if you can consult a trainer that has experience with her situation. I myself have used essential oils as a calming aid when we have something really stressful coming up and I can say it has helped us a lot. It also helps to avoid making a big deal about leaving and coming home. I used to always say goodbye to my senior and she would barely open her eyes but it is different with a new dog.
Puppy mill dogs can be really difficult. It can take them a year to acclimate to the "real world". You're probably the first person who ever really gave her love, so it's understandable that she's really insecure without you. Another pet for company might or might not help, ditto the TV (certainly easy enough to be worth a try!). I really think you should see the vet about antianxiety meds. This transition to a whole new way of life is going to take time, and they will probably give both her and you some relief.
Also important, and I'm not sure if you're doing it already, is to be very calm and matter of fact about comings and goings. No fussing, no long "I'll be back soon, be a good girl" etc. When you leave, put her wherever you put her and go. When you get home, completely ignore her (no positive or negative attention, whether to greet her or to scold her for pooping) for ten minutes. Then sit down and spend some time with her. The idea is to help her get the idea that your comings and goings are no big deal.
My last dog was a puppy mill rescue with similar issues to what you describe. We bonded right from the start, but the minute a man walked up to her to say hello, she was terrified and she'd lose complete control of her bodily functions. It got old fast, was very frustrating, and took years of work to solve. When she got old, the issues seemed to come back. None-the-less, I think she'll always be one of my favorite dogs. She was so tuned-in to me, probably because of her past. It was very rewarding despite all of the time I spent cleaning up after her anxiety-induced messes. I am very glad I had a house without carpeting at the time, though.
You've gotten some good advice, but have you heard of a Thundershirt? It is a tight vest that you can buy for dogs with anxiety. It apparently helps calm them. A friend of mine used one with her anxious rescue dog, and it did wonders. She eventually put the dog on Prozac, but she said just getting the vest helped immensely. It might be worth trying.
I agree a second dog might help. I have adopted 2 puppymill dogs. They can be frustrating I know. My weim tore a metal crate up and ate a hole in mattress.
Puppy mill dogs can be really difficult. It can take them a year to acclimate to the "real world". You're probably the first person who ever really gave her love, so it's understandable that she's really insecure without you. Another pet for company might or might not help, ditto the TV (certainly easy enough to be worth a try!). I really think you should see the vet about antianxiety meds. This transition to a whole new way of life is going to take time, and they will probably give both her and you some relief.
Good advice there. I just want to add that once she learns she can trust you're not going to abandon her and your relationship is on a solid footing, the payoff for both of you is going to be life changing -- and in a very good way. If she were a huiman, we'd say she has PTSD, and that takes much patience and persevering on the caregiver's part. It also takes time, sometimes a lot of time. She may have some hardwired issues and insecurities that never go away, but they will soften, they will diminish some.
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