Going to my first adoption event since Bandit died (labrador, breeder, black)

[Niftybergin]

My Bandit died the day after Thanksgiving in 2012, just before he turned 11. He developed lymphoma, which took him hard and fast.

I miss Bandit and miss having a dog, but I haven't been in any rush to get another. Part of it is that I've enjoyed NOT having the responsibilities of a dog. (This last year has been insanely stressful with respect to work, and I started back to school as well.)

A bigger part of my hesitancy, though, has been fear. Plain and simple. Bandit was such a good boy -- incredibly good, incredibly well-behaved. We suited each other down to the ground. He was the perfect dog for me, and our relationship was easy and harmonious at all times. We were incredibly attuned to each other, could read each other like a book. I didn't even have to use words: he just knew my facial expressions or body language, and I knew his. People would comment on how good he was, and they'd compliment ME, as if I'd had anything to do with it. And maybe I did...a little. But mostly it was Bandit. I'd tell people it was 75% Bandit, and only 25% me.

So I'm afraid: afraid that I'll always compare any dog I get to Bandit; afraid that if the dog isn't exactly like Bandit -- isn't as easy as Bandit was -- I won't be able to rise to the challenge. I know I can be rigid. (I hate it when dogs drink out of the toilet, or counter-surf, or get up on the furniture without being invited.) I worry that I'll be TOO rigid, that I"ll get frustrated and not be able to connect.

I guess I've forgotten that Bandit was the first dog I'd ever had on my own, and I'd had these same fears before I got him. Bandit was almost 2 when my ex-husband and I separated, and he wanted me to give Bandit up. He said I couldn't take care of myself, and I wouldn't be able to take care of Bandit. But I DID take care of Bandit...superbly. And even though Bandit's behavior was easy, he had his challenges. He was epileptic, with grand mal seizures starting right after he turned 2. But I learned how to deal with that and how to help him thrive despite the epilepsy, and up until the very end, when the lymphoma took hold, he was an amazingly healthy, happy dog.

So anyway. Maybe the time is right. Despite my fears, I know I'm the type of person who needs a dog. I need the emotional companionship, the physical accountability. Now it's just a matter of finding the right dog.

I go to my first adoption event this weekend. I'm not planning to walk away with a dog. But it's a good first step. A long time coming, but a good first step.

[DawnMTL]

And now I'm crying. You wrote such eloquent words about you, about Bandit, and about you and Bandit. You were definitely soulmates, that's clear.

I don't know if any other dog can match Bandit's perfection, but I know that you will -- one day -- find another furry friend to love... and receive love from.

Good luck this weekend.

Here's half of my tissue.

[LuvABull.Denver]

Dawn said it so well, I am not sure I have too much more to add. But...

I totally understand where you are coming from...and here's my 2 cents worth... (Sorry it turned out to be so long...)

When I lost my Pit Bull (Happy), my heart was broken. I was a mess, a total wreck for the first few weeks. Those turned into months. Although I still had Tara (at the time) and I was so blessed for her being so in tune with me...I had lost my baby girl, my very first. Yes, I had had dogs when I was a kid growing up but Happy was MY first. She taught me so much...and then she was gone. (Dang Rimadyl, bad, bad drug!)

I decided I needed time to mourn and I would not get another dog for a year or two...if then.

Well, Tara and I were doing well together, (nothing would ever be the same without my Happy dog.) Duh!

I got a text from my sister asking if I would be willing to foster a Pit Bull? (This was a fifteen months later.) I told her I did not know if I was ready...but then I thought, it's a foster. They get the dog back, right? Well, I also knew deep in my heart not all fur-parents come back...and sometimes, you end up with the new fur-kid or you have to re-home it yourself. I'm not the kind to give up dogs...

In comes Spanky, he was from Craigslist. My sis had been scoping ads and came across him, hence the text...and the beginning of a new relationship.

For the first week I had him, I kept him at arms distance and when I wasn't looking, the little bugger stole my heart. Thief, I tell you, THIEF!!! It's okay that his fur-parents didn't come back. He adjusted well and bonded to me almost instantly...which is why he stole my heart.

He was nothing like Happy and I never wanted or expected him to be. He was Spanky, in all his glory.

The real lesson came when Tara passed (dang Carprophen, bad, bad drug!) I was heart sick, again. Spanky bless his heart was so attentive. When I cried (that went on for well over a year) he would be right there beside me. Sometimes, when I would cry, he would walk up to me, and try to lick the tears as they fell but he would always come to me.

I went to the county shelter to get his dog tags...and decided to stroll through the kennels, I should say this was only a month after Tara's passing. I found the most incredible and beautiful dogs. I wanted to take them ALL home.

However, one picked me, Diesel. They had him listed as a red nose pit bull. To be completely honest, he's a mutt-puppy. Through the chain link, he looked up at me with those honey colored eyes, and he licked my hand. Yep, he had me at, hello. ***SUCKER*** is another way of putting it.

I asked them when was his d-day...and would they consider fostering him? He had been in county lock up for seven months...and they really, really wanted to find him a home. They asked me to fill out adoption papers and we could have an overnight visit. (To make sure he and Spanky could get along.)

Whoa, adoption papers...well, while I had been talking with them, someone else was also filling out adoption papers for him.

Diesel is a special case. He was a three time convicted escapee. Yep, an escape artist. Which was why he was there in the first place or should I say third place? Anyway, with my experience with bully breeds and knowing he would need to be managed (not escape)...I was granted custody, immediately. (Btw, we have not had an escape attempt.)

Now Happy, Tara, Spanky and Diesel have all been rescues. I never expected to be where we are today...but we are here and I wouldn't change it for the world. Although I was still mourning Tara's passing when I found Diesel (fondly called, Baby D). I could not ask for a better mutt-puppy bully breed dog...EVER.

Each dog is so different and I am so okay with that, they are all loving and generally "good" dogs. Rescues are like that IMHO, they know when you have saved them. Either from death or from a bad owner (in Happy's case). There is such a special bond.

I miss Happy and Tara, I always will. They have a piece of my heart...forever...but I have found love again with Spanky and with Baby D...I never would have known if I hadn't taken those first steps.

You will know when you have found your new love. Please don't "worry" that they won't be Bandit. Bandit was special and will NEVER be replaced. Even if you got the exact same breed, this dog will love you, like no other. They are not interchangeable, each one brings their own strengths to your new relationship...and the bond forged...oh, my.

...well, that's my 2 cents worth...

When you are ready to take that step, open your heart to your new fur-child...you won't regret it.

(If you are interested in pics, go to my album, I have Tara, Spanky and Diesel there...)

[brightdoglover]

There might be one (or more, if you're really fortunate) dogs of a lifetime for each of us. The others are beloved friends. I've had my favorites, but I always love the dogs who come to live with me and who I take care of. Sometimes it takes longer than others to bond but they are all my household members and they make my house a home.

[ESFP]

Trying to get a companion dog that acts like you want is a futile effort. Two from the same litter will be completely different from each other. I'm of the opinion that you get the dog you need, not the one you want necessarily. Sounds like you have a heart big enough to give any dog a happy "Forever Home". Good luck!

[Jessiegee40]

I totally understand where you are coming from. Ben was my first dog that I had by myself after my divorce. He was such a special boy and the best dog ever. He had a hole in his heart but lived to 3 years old. He was so well behaved and I really didn't feel like I had much to do with that.

Then comes Bella. I had waited for awhile after Ben but I knew I had to have a dog with me. I did alot of research to find a good breeder then had to wait for momma to come into heat...then for the pups to be born......felt like forever.

I wanted another male black lab, like Ben. Things went majorly wrong with the birth and only one pup survived. A yellow female. Hmmmm. I had pick of the litter so she was mine if I wanted her.

After much consideration, I took her. SHE is the best dog ever!! I don't like all the things you mentioned either and guess what. She doesn't do those things just like Ben didn't. Why???? Guess I had more to do with Ben's behavior than I thought.

[DawnMTL]

I don't know if you're going today or tomorrow, but I'm looking forward to hearing how it went. <3

[CALGUY]

Above all, when you do decide on another pet, DO NOT USE BANDIT as a measuring stick.
I know that may be hard to do, but it is extremely important if you and your new dog are ever going to have any kind of relationship.
The new dog will have it's own characteristics, and qualities.
It is up to you to deal with these, and make the home comfortable for both of you.
Bandit is gone, and you can't bring him back through another dog.
Just love the new one as you loved, and continue to love Bandit.
Bob.

[World Citizen]

I understand how you feel about adopting another dog....

I was in a great deal of emotional pain after the death of my last dog due to all of the insane circumstances surrounding the last years of his life. I'm sure that I adopted my current dog "too soon"... (it was less than a month later). But, like you, I'm someone who needs a dog in their life.

The little black Labrador pup that I adopted from the Humane Society was a stray that they'd picked up running down the street. It wasn't long until I figured out how and why he probably escaped. He was a very intelligent puppy who had separation anxiety issues. He could quickly open a door with his paws. And, he was not a dog that was ever going to to be trained to stay in a kennel all day....

Looking at him now, it's easy to see that he was the perfect dog for me and that I was the right person to adopt him. I'm sure I saved his life. Many people don't take the time to figure out how to tame separation anxiety and he probably would have ended up back at the Humane Society with two strikes against him.

It's difficult to have a dog taken from you suddenly with a serious illness. When you don't have time to prepare for the loss, it's hard to get closure and put the loss behind you. Four years later, I sometimes still feel grief for the dog that came before him but my sweet Shadow is a wonderful dog and I can't imagine my life without him.

Whatever dog you choose will be very fortunate to have you for a parent!

[AustinB]

I lost my Moose last March. He was special. He still had two others fuzz butts, but Moose was always with me. You'll know when it's right to get any friend. You'll see similarities in them. They are their own person though. You'll grow to love them for who they are.