She does not think I take care of her brother good going saying things about me not true does not appreciate me (child, money)
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My My husband is disabled I myself have a 22 year old special needs daughter anyways oldest sister is a bully bossy, controlling etc I am so sick and tired of this woman its a wonder I have not had a nervous breakdown.
We only been married 13 months she is his Power of Attorney which is the biggest problem here I got my oldest niece to come and help us with a budget she and I saw something to tell us she was using his money she met with her made her tell what bills she pays and how much niece told me we needed to build a case first, now she wont s to say he smells something about his clothes all a lie.
My husband is slow and she did not tell me what degree I hate to say its like he is a child he was sheltered and babied my niece put him on a 3 day a week shower schdule I am doing the best I can and she wont s to now be saying all this I wont to and need to so I can be peaceful cuss the hell out of her.
She does not think I can do various things said she thought I could right when you won t show me how am I to learn what she known in 5 years all kinds of things go through my mind what if she would try and get me in trouble.
She has spoke out of line concerning my daughter well that wont fly my daughter has worked with various state agencies and attends a day support program last 3 years the out line was like when I I ll say sees she needs a doctor I ignore another lie.
I am so stressed and worried today right now I am starting to feel blue and down I try and do what people tell me but cant something has to give.
I am sorry you are going through this. I take it this is your sister-in-law, your husband's sister, who is being critical, not your own sister.
Perhaps a social worker or case worker might be helpful in figuring out if your husband is entitled to in-home help from Medicare or Medicaid. A lawyer might be able to get his power of attorney transferred to you, since you are now his closest relative. If you have power of attorney for your daughter, let the attorney know, since that would show that you have done the right thing in seeing after her bbest interests.
I don't think this sister should have any thing to say about your daughter. Perhaps talking with those at your daughter's day support program would help you document your daughter's care, so this wouldn't be an issue. They might also be able to refer you to a good lawyer with experience in this area, as well as a social worker.
How old is your husband? Is he legally disabled? If so, what is the cause of his disability?
May I ask why you married your husband, unless he suffered an incapacitating illness or accident during the 13 months you have been married? Did you not know how severely affected he was when you married him? How long did you know him before you married him?
Meanwhile write down everything concerning the care you give to or arrange for your husband, so you will have a paper trail if the sister challenges his care.
After reading your other posts, I think your SIL has valid concerns. You have a disabled daughter, and a disabled husband, and that's a lot to handle on your own. You married without fully understanding your husband's issues. Are you also disabled? I see you have public assistance, and no transportation, which makes me think the answer is yes.
You need to involve a social worker, who can act on your behalf to keep your family together.
My husband is disabled. I myself have a 22 year old special needs daughter. Anyway, my husband's oldest sister is a bully: bossy, controlling, etc. I am so sick and tired of this woman, it's a wonder I have not had a nervous breakdown.
We have only been married 13 months. She has his Power of Attorney, which is the biggest problem. h I got my oldest niece to come and help us with a budget. She and I saw something to tell us she (the SIL) was using his money. My niece met with her and made her tell what bills she pays and how much. My niece told me we needed to build a case first, now she (the SIL) wants to say he smells -something about his clothes - all a lie.
My husband is slow and she did not tell me what degree. I hate to say it, but it's like he is a child. He was sheltered and babied. My niece put him on a 3 day a week shower schedule,
I am doing the best I can and she wants to now be saying all this.. I want to and need to be peaceful: cuss the hell out of her.
She does not think I can do various things - said she thought I could: right, when you won't show me, how am I to learn what she has known in 5 years? All kinds of things go through my mind: what if she would try and get me in trouble?
She has spoke out of line concerning my daughter - well, that won't fly. My daughter has worked with various state agencies and attends a day support program for the last 3 years. The outline was like ""When I'll say "See, she needs a doctor", I ignore (her)" - another lie.
I am so stressed and worried today right now. I am starting to feel blue and down. I try and do what people tell me, but can't - something has to give.
shyshy: Please do not be upset, but I have edited your first post in this thread to correct spelling and add punctuation. It will be easier for others to understand it that way.
Also, you have posted a lot of times about this problem with your sister-in-law and your husband in other similar threads, and have been given some good advice before. Have you looked into following some of those suggestions?
shyshy, I got both your PMs. I am glad that you are thinking about getting a case manager to help with your husband's issues. I hope you will do that. Talking with the people at your daughter's day center is a very good idea.
I hope you will also see a lawyer about his POA. There is no reason that his sister should have that now that he is married to you. I assume his sister got the POA before he was married, is that right?
Your niece has some good ideas. I am glad she is helping you.
Once you get POA, tell your husband's sister to mind her own business! She should not be pushing you and your husband to go to any church - that is very personal and up to you.
shyshy, you need to explain why your sister in law has POA over your husband.
It appears that the husband's sister obtained POA before shyshy and her brother were married 13 months ago. It sounds as if the husband has some mobility issues and is somewhat "slow" mentally.
shyshy, can you tell us more about your husband's needs and his condition, and why his sister got POA for him? Is he legally disabled?
^^ because if he's that "slow" maybe you CAN undo the POA, be cause he was't competent to approve one.
Now granted -- unless your SIL, wants to and is willing to GIVE UP the POA....you attempt to get it from her, will involve a lawyer and the court.....unless legal aide would handle this for you (which they might if you also are mentally challenged.
Is you husband a vet? If his disability is service related that might get you some help.
Did you SIL even know you were marrying her brother, or was this unexpected?
Please come back and answer these questions. The more we know, the better suggestions we can make.
Also to be quite honest, if you also a mentally challenged -- it might explain a few things, and help us understand how this situation came about in the first place. Backstory is important.
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