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There are no infants to adopt because no one is having kids they dont want, and then abandoning them.
This is a thread of joy, and happiness. Not sorrow.
It's sorrow to those who want children but can't have them, and look to adoption to fill that desire. But it's not a guarantee, and it's not a right to have children...or take children away from others.
It's sorrow to those who want children but can't have them, and look to adoption to fill that desire. But it's not a guarantee, and it's not a right to have children...or take children away from others.
I agree with all of this. So much sorrow for those who want but can’t have kids. But forcing women to give up their babies is not the answer. If they do so willingly, it’s a blessing for both parties. Unwillingly it’s a tragedy. It’s shocking that some don’t see any issue with forcing adoption for no reason other than age (18-21) and marital status (unwed).
I have never been able to recconcile "Children are a blessing" with "unwed mothers are a curse on society." If we, as a society, believe babies are blessings, than we should treat the mothers like treasures.
Some people act like unwed mothers are a moral dillema...but nothing in the Bible ever indicated that it was. Indeed, for all society knew back in the day, Mary, mother of Jesus was an unwed mother, and no one made a big deal about it.
I agree with all of this. So much sorrow for those who want but can’t have kids. But forcing women to give up their babies is not the answer. If they do so willingly, it’s a blessing for both parties. Unwillingly it’s a tragedy. It’s shocking that some don’t see any issue with forcing adoption for no reason other than age (18-21) and marital status (unwed).
It truly is shocking. Besides myself, I can't count the number of people I know who were born to teen moms or unmarried women. After the initial shock, in every case I know, the extended family surrounds this new baby and mom with love and support, even the 14 year old we know who hid her pregnancy until the delivery date. Many marry the father and they go on to live happy lives. I don't know any who moved away to a government paid apartment.
And I totally support those who make the decision to give their baby up for adoption, but it shouldn't be forced due to someone else's desire to get more infants in the adoption pool.
It's sorrow to those who want children but can't have them, and look to adoption to fill that desire. But it's not a guarantee, and it's not a right to have children...or take children away from others.
Instead of just thinking about sad ole muah, and sulking about, they should be happy the world has no abandoned children, or parents that died when kids were young.
Unless, there are available kids to adopt but not the right race or type for these adopters. That just means they are even more selfish.
Instead of just thinking about sad ole muah, and sulking about, they should be happy the world has no abandoned children, or parents that died when kids were young.
Unless, there are available kids to adopt but not the right race or type for these adopters. That just means they are even more selfish.
I think the reality is there are plenty of children in other countries that have been abandoned or who have parents who died when they were young. International adoption has ground to a halt for a number of reasons. Many countries regard it as embarrassing that they cannot provide for orphaned or abandoned children and they would prefer these children stay in their home countries in substandard institutions rather than that they placed with foreign couples for adoption. Russia stopped allowing international adoption to the USA because of politics. International treaties like the Hague Convention impose large barriers to international adoption. America has ratified the Hague Convention because of abuses in some countries.
I think it would be a good thing if it were really true that there no abandoned children or parents who died while their children were young. However, I think you'd find the reality is different. A disease like Covid 19 probably left many children orphaned.
I think the comment about "race" is uncalled for. Many, many people in my state of Utah have adopted children of all races from all countries. I personally know people who have adopted children from India, Korea, the Congo, and China.
My wife and I adopted our children in the late 1990's domestically. The advice I would give to parents today is to move on from adoption. I would suggest they consider some type of surrogate parenting, advanced infertility treatment, or simply find other things to do than raise children. Whether adoption is a good thing or not, I largely regard it as a relic of the past that is unlikely to return.
Don't be sorry...they're absolutely different but the fact remains someone who wants to parent should be open to parenting foster children. Instead, it appears most view adoption as just growing their family, not parenting a child needing a home - which is what adoption is about.
Therein lies the sickness of feeling victimized of one's lot in life. It's difficult to feel sympathy for prospective adopters who gave someone $ for her baby because the reality is joy when she has a change of heart - a family gets to remain intact. Finally, quit calling expectant moms "birth mothers". They are not. They haven't signed anything. It's covert coercion. And all it does, is get people's hopes up. Sticking with the original purpose of adoption is ethical. This predatory thread really has run its course.
Don't be sorry...they're absolutely different but the fact remains someone who wants to parent should be open to parenting foster children. Instead, it appears most view adoption as just growing their family, not parenting a child needing a home - which is what adoption is about.
Therein lies the sickness of feeling victimized of one's lot in life. It's difficult to feel sympathy for prospective adopters who gave someone $ for her baby because the reality is joy when she has a change of heart - a family gets to remain intact. Finally, quit calling expectant moms "birth mothers". They are not. They haven't signed anything. It's covert coercion. And all it does, is get people's hopes up. Sticking with the original purpose of adoption is ethical. This predatory thread really has run its course.
I certainly never expected anyone to feel sorry for me when I was a prospective adoptive parent.
However, foster care was not something my wife and I felt up too. I know some foster parents well. It is not like adoption and is not a journey for everyone. I could easily make an argument that the people who are best qualified to be foster parents are those who have already raised their children and done so with some degree of success. These are the people who are least likely to be disappointed or discouraged by the foster care system or by the baggage that many foster children who have been the victims of things like drug abuse, alcoholism, extreme neglect, and sexual or physical abuse often bring with them. Such people are generally going to be a bit older and since foster kids are often teens or tweens there is nothing wrong with that.
Foster parents also need to understand that since the goal of the system is family reunification that there will be situations where they will disagree with a decision to reunite children with families in some cases. I just imagined how hard that could be when you don't share that goal in a particular case.
The reality is that whole lot of people in this country--not just prospective adoptive families--are responsible for the state of the foster care system. Fixing that system is no more the responsibility of prospective adoptive parents than it is your own.
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