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I sounds like we're not getting the whole story here, but the bottom line is that the OP does not have to participate in a professional development activity where they do not feel included or respected.
As to the zoom link, that's a time where everyone needs to figure out what needs to be in place so that an error like that doesn't happen again (eg. shared Google drives and notes) rather than focusing on pointing fingers and assigning blame. It's also odd that a retreat would be planned without considering the accommodations needed for all participants. That's just how events are planned in 2024
As a psychologist, I would think you would have more avenues to conflict resolution than asking a random internet forum and going right to resigning. So I somehow don't think we are getting the full story.
If you have done all of that and are still dissatisfied with the job/position then there is nothing keeping you there and you are free to tell them as much or as little as you want. However, the first time that the upper management should hear about these problems is not in your letter of resignation.
Develop other relationships within this organization if you value your time there. If possible, be professional yet reserved regarding the offending parties. Do not allow them to have control over your emotions, decisions, and outcomes. Take charge.
As a psychologist, I would think you would have more avenues to conflict resolution than asking a random internet forum and going right to resigning. So I somehow don't think we are getting the full story.
If you have done all of that and are still dissatisfied with the job/position then there is nothing keeping you there and you are free to tell them as much or as little as you want. However, the first time that the upper management should hear about these problems is not in your letter of resignation.
I'm with Frank. I have no idea why you didn't elevate this to upper management.
And yea Frank... 3 sides to every story. We only heard the first.
As a psychologist, I would think you would have more avenues to conflict resolution than asking a random internet forum and going right to resigning. So I somehow don't think we are getting the full story.
If you have done all of that and are still dissatisfied with the job/position then there is nothing keeping you there and you are free to tell them as much or as little as you want. However, the first time that the upper management should hear about these problems is not in your letter of resignation.
Correct.
We clearly don't have the entire story.
Nevertheless, the fact that the OP is asking strangers on the Inernet for "justification," tells me they themselves are not confident on how they have chosen to alleviate this issue. You don't need justification from anyone to quit, let a lone internet strangers.
There are many tools in the toolbox to try first, before you allow someone to make you quit.
And these people are those who counsel others? They sound nutty.
What would you counsel someone else to do, in your situation? Do that.
I was thinking the same.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FrankNSense
You lost me.
As a psychologist, I would think you would have more avenues to conflict resolution than asking a random internet forum and going right to resigning. So I somehow don't think we are getting the full story.
If you have done all of that and are still dissatisfied with the job/position then there is nothing keeping you there and you are free to tell them as much or as little as you want. However, the first time that the upper management should hear about these problems is not in your letter of resignation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SickofJersey
I'm with Frank. I have no idea why you didn't elevate this to upper management.
And yea Frank... 3 sides to every story. We only heard the first.
I'm with Frank too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rocko20
Correct.
We clearly don't have the entire story.
Nevertheless, the fact that the OP is asking strangers on the Inernet for "justification," tells me they themselves are not confident on how they have chosen to alleviate this issue. You don't need justification from anyone to quit, let a lone internet strangers.
There are many tools in the toolbox to try first, before you allow someone to make you quit.
Yeah, even though the OP is a psychologist herself, she could use the EAP (Employee Assistance Program), if she has at where she works, and go for a counselling. Sometimes, some inexperienced psychologist may need advice from someone who is experienced. If she likes her job, don't quit. Quitters don't win. Winners don't quit.
Quote:
Originally Posted by seekingadvice1990
I'm a psychologist and I've been part of the profession's national committee for eight years and enjoyed my time. I recently joined the state committee and my experience has not been as positive.
We were unable to stream our AGM (annual general meeting) online because no one had a Zoom link. I am the secretary, but the colleague I referred to in the title said that another committee member would now liaise with the national body because I get "overwhelmed easily". She made this comment in front of the entire committee. I have no idea where this has come from, but I assumed she was managing the Zoom link.
I was blamed for not having a Zoom link on the night and told I should have it. I was never sent it and reemphasised this in a followup email after checking all my emails from the national body, who are responsible for sending it. A committee member who wanted to attend online also sent me a rude text blaming me. My colleague was told it was a "dreadful" thing to happen, and I should apologise. When I laughed at the situation to lighten the mood, I was told not to laugh because it wasn't funny.
I later spoke to the national body and they said they sent the link to the Chair. She missed the email. There was no apology.
I went on a mindfulness retreat with the committee to the country recently. I was in a different cabin to everyone else. When the retreat were unable to find a bed for me, my colleague ignored me. When I got there and sat down, two of them, including my colleague, stood up and left.
I sat down with them after dinner and asked how long the walk would be the next day. I have a physical disability and a chronic illness, which makes strenuous exercise difficult. My colleague snapped, "20 miles!" The walk was about 2kms.
The next day, weirdly, she came into my cabin to see if I was OK. I was fine - I was just getting ready. When I came down, I sat next to her. She looked to the other side of her to look at our colleague for about 10 seconds. I looked at the face of my other colleague and it was clear it was about me.
Later in the day, I spilt some soup in a public situation because I have a tremor. She knows I have a tremor because I had neurosurgery for it two years ago. She came up to me afterwards, and in a very patronising way asked, "how are you coooopppiinnnggg?" I just said, "I'm fine - why wouldn't I be?" She then walked off and didn't talk to me again.
I decided to leave the retreat early the following morning. That was three days ago and no one ever contacted me to see if I got home safely (it was a 2.5 hour drive), or to see what happened to me.
If of relevance, the other committee members all know each other from university, when they were doing their doctorates in the early 2000s, when I was in high school.
I don't know what her problem with me is, but I am considering resigning. I have drafted this email to the Chair, but I would copy in the mentioned colleague, and potentially the entire committee.
Dear X,
I am writing to you to let you know that I am resigning from my role as secretary with the X committee of the Y.
I have reflected on the culture that has been cultivated within the committee, and I don’t feel that it is consistent with the values that originally drew me to volunteer with the XYZ, and indeed, to become a psychologist. In that sense, I feel that I would be disingenuous to continue my involvement in the committee.
This is not a reflection on the national committee, and I have enjoyed my time as a national committee member immensely.
Kind regards,
Does anyone have any thoughts? Would you resign in this situation? Is my email appropriate?
Thank you!
First, I have empathy for you.
Second, be strong, don't quit because of a few co-workers who are mean to you. If you like your job, do your best and stay. Try to be better than they are. If you quit, your mean co-workers will be happy.
Third, about the bold part, you need to understand that you are not the centre of the world; not everybody needs to care about you and know how you are doing.
Before, when I was doing scheduling, one day this employee did not show up to work; I had to call her. No answer. I left her a message. Later, she called back and said "Oh, I'm so glad you called. I am so sick, and nobody called me. Nobody cared about me if I lived of died." And this employee was the one who called in sick quite often. I felt clenched, thinking: "Do you think you are the centre of the world? Why would someone have to call you to see if you were alive or dead?" But I had to control myself and said "When you are sick, you need to call in a few hours early at least, so we could find someone to replace you." See? Some people are lazy and unreasonable. I can't stand that.
In addition, most people don’t want to work with someone who calls in sick often or has ‘disability’ privilege. They have to take burdens from such employee besides their own work. It’s very exhausting.
Finally, if you want to resign, I agree with many posters that you just send in a resignation letter saying you've decided to resign your position effective whatever date... and thank the company for the opportunity to work with people there. That's it.
Last edited by AnOrdinaryCitizen; 03-16-2024 at 10:39 AM..
It's a voluntary committee position. If you don't want to do it, then resign.
But the draft letter you shared is overly verbose and disparages the entire organization rather than just the people that you feel have wronged you. It's burning bridges you may regret later. Just stick with the minimum--"I hereby tender my resignation, in order to devote my time and energy to pursuits more in keeping with my personal and professional values and interests." One sentence. Says it all, but at the same time makes no accusations and certainly doesn't disparage the organization.
As other have said, there's two sides to every story. I've been an organizational secretary and it was definitely my job to send out the zoom link, along with the agenda. I definitely didn't 'assume' (your words) that someone else was doing it, regardless of what may have been said verbally.
Remember, your resignation letter will be in print. Everything everyone else has done has been verbal or with body language. Your actions will live on.
If it's a voluntary committee thing, I'd talk to the board of directors or chair about it. You do want an orderly transition out.
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