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It seems like it's the norm to get engaged but not actually married for another year or even two years. Some couples I've known have been engaged for 4-6 years. I don't understand this really. If I were to get engaged to another woman, I'd just like to get married within 3-6 months. Doesn't seem necessary to have such long engagements, makes it seem like the couple just wants to be engaged but not actually married. If you're serious about getting married, just do it.
Not all men are like you, OP. I think some of those multi-year engagements are due simply to a guy who had to placate an insistent gf about marriage (or thought he did), without having any intention of following through.
OTOH, living together for years first, even having kids, then finally tying the knot has been common for decades in parts of Scandinavia. Proposing marriage (especially with the guy getting down on one knee) and weddings have come to be regarded as "quaint" and old-fashioned in some parts. IDK, maybe it's a generational thing.
Advice columnists publish hundreds (maybe thousands) of complaints by frustrated young women whose cohabiting boyfriends string them along for years while their "biological clock is ticking" toward menopause. It's actually one of the most common subjects addressed in those columns.
Long ago, there was a famous pop song in Spanish about this called "Quizas, quizas, quizas", also recorded in English by many artists (and on YouTube).
Finding a venue? People don't have weddings in their homes and in city parks anymore? I bet those who went through with weddings scheduled during Covid did, after trimming the guest list.
Enough for a decent-sized wedding group. And there's always the back yard. But during Covid, people were (are) having very small weddings, those who went through with their plans. You could fit those wedding groups in a one-br. apartment.
Why do you ask? Are home weddings unusual where you live? I know people who actually rent out their home as a wedding venue.
I just got engaged a month or so ago after a 6.5 year relationship. We are late 40s/early 50s and are both established in our careers and financially. My youngest daughter graduated high school this year and I think he was waiting to propose until after that. We plan to get married sometime next year, could be spring, could be fall. We want to travel somewhere (just the 2 of us) for a beach wedding, so we are waiting until hopefully some of the restrictions are gone. And, being frugal, we will go when we can find a good deal on the trip. The actual wedding date won't be set until we decide when and where to go.
But yes, as previous posters have said, it can take a while to book a venue, florist, photographer, give people who live out of town enough notice to travel...lots of moving parts and pieces to pull off a wedding!
Unless the bride to be buys a dress off the rack wedding dress orders can take 6-8 months to arrive. That was before the pandemic. My guess is that it's longer now. Add a month to shop on weekends. Add another month or so for alterations.
It took time to research wedding venues. My daughter booked her venue a year in advance. Even then with a few of the places she wanted to look at were booked for the next year. That's just one piece of a larger wedding. A photographer, florist, cake, etc. take time to research and shop around.
Her husband's family had to make travel plans from another country which is time consuming and can take months.
Hmmm..... I had a dress made, hat and veil made, picked a church - we didn't even belong to a church - arranged a reception with food, cake, etc. in 4 months. We only had about 50 people, so it wasn't a big wedding. My sister had a large wedding and reception, kind of a political thing as well because of her husband, and she did it in about 6 months, all while being in law school and graduating third in her class. I guess it depends on how much you want to get married and how rigid about the date, venue, etc. Obviously some people will need longer if they are working around the schedules of people that they want at the wedding. A destination wedding might be harder to arrange. People traveling long distances, etc. It might take a bridezilla longer than someone that can go with the flow and make quick decisions and go with alternatives if things aren't working. There are no rules on the timeline.
People can also get married without having a wedding.
Apparently when my wife wants something done fast, she can make it happen.
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