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My son is 10. I long suspected that he was on the spectrum when he was 2. I had early child intervention step in, but he was not behind enough to warrant interventions. Fast forward now, he has an IEP, Speech etc. and is mostly meeting his IEP goals, however the goals are not challenging. I think if they were more difficult he would not meet them. His teacher reiterates that progress is the key in this situation. He is making progress but falling behind. He is in the 4th grade but reading at the level of a 1st grader! I am considering retaining but don't want to hurt him.
He can barely write because of his fine motor skills. He receives OT at school, but it was just not enough, so we are now going to therapy once a week and I am still not seeing improvement. He has level 1 autism. He can communicate but does not handle social situations and is having learning issues. I feel like I have failed as a parent. I get frustrated with him sometimes. I know this is stupid but I am trying to teach him to become more self sufficient. For example, he will put his clothes on backwards or inside out. I go tell him to change and he does the same thing. I tell him that when he does something he HAS to look or focus on what he is actually doing instead of looking around. I try putting reminders up showing him things, like cards but we are not getting anywhere. Like today, he came home with his jacket inside out. He has no self awareness.
He also has self control problems. An example would be me going to tell him to wash his hands. He will go to the restroom and literally use so much soap to make a bubble bath in the sink. If he feels that a room is not fresh he will spray an entire can of Febreeze out. I will come in the room and ask him about this and he will say he did not do it. I feel like I am not doing everything I can do because I am busy as well. I am considering enrolling him in tutoring because I cannot dedicate enough time that he needs. Does it get better? I HATE HATE HATE meds but attempted focalin, it did not make a difference. The only thing that seemed to work was a blood pressure medicine that has been proven to help social and cognitive functions in individuals with autism, the downside was that he was tired all the time.
I think about his future alot. His dad is a high functioning autistic individual but goes from job to job because he cannot maintain. His mother also enables his behavior and does everything for him. I am trying to teach my son to be self sufficient. All of this is hard for me because I did not have problems in school and did well academically. Is there any advice you all can offer me? I feel like I am wasting money with the OT because there is no improvement.
My son is 10. I long suspected that he was on the spectrum when he was 2. I had early child intervention step in, but he was not behind enough to warrant interventions. Fast forward now, he has an IEP, Speech etc. and is mostly meeting his IEP goals, however the goals are not challenging. I think if they were more difficult he would not meet them. His teacher reiterates that progress is the key in this situation. He is making progress but falling behind. He is in the 4th grade but reading at the level of a 1st grader! I am considering retaining but don't want to hurt him.
He can barely write because of his fine motor skills. He receives OT at school, but it was just not enough, so we are now going to therapy once a week and I am still not seeing improvement. He has level 1 autism. He can communicate but does not handle social situations and is having learning issues. I feel like I have failed as a parent. I get frustrated with him sometimes. I know this is stupid but I am trying to teach him to become more self sufficient. For example, he will put his clothes on backwards or inside out. I go tell him to change and he does the same thing. I tell him that when he does something he HAS to look or focus on what he is actually doing instead of looking around. I try putting reminders up showing him things, like cards but we are not getting anywhere. Like today, he came home with his jacket inside out. He has no self awareness.
He also has self control problems. An example would be me going to tell him to wash his hands. He will go to the restroom and literally use so much soap to make a bubble bath in the sink. If he feels that a room is not fresh he will spray an entire can of Febreeze out. I will come in the room and ask him about this and he will say he did not do it. I feel like I am not doing everything I can do because I am busy as well. I am considering enrolling him in tutoring because I cannot dedicate enough time that he needs. Does it get better? I HATE HATE HATE meds but attempted focalin, it did not make a difference. The only thing that seemed to work was a blood pressure medicine that has been proven to help social and cognitive functions in individuals with autism, the downside was that he was tired all the time.
I think about his future alot. His dad is a high functioning autistic individual but goes from job to job because he cannot maintain. His mother also enables his behavior and does everything for him. I am trying to teach my son to be self sufficient. All of this is hard for me because I did not have problems in school and did well academically. Is there any advice you all can offer me? I feel like I am wasting money with the OT because there is no improvement.
First you are not a bad parent, just new to autism and its problems.
For the fine motor skills, he probably needs private OT.
You know...sometimes autism comes with other diagnoses. Have you had him checked with a neurologist? Maybe he has dyslexia as well, or maybe he has ADHD as well.
And maybe you've considered all of this, and have ruled all of the other stuff out...I'm just throwing stuff out there.
Also...maybe he'd benefit from an aide? Is he in a regular classroom setting, or is he in a special ed class? Here's an article about how aides can help, and sometimes hinder, an autistic child. https://www.verywellhealth.com/does-...-school-260405 But maybe it'd be the right move for your son.
If you haven't already, consider joining some kind of autism support group. It can be difficult to navigate everything you need to know, and it's been my experience sometimes, it's hard for the parent to know what all they need to know, to best help their kid. It has seemed to me, that schools are reluctant to volunteer information, and though maybe they'll follow the letter of the law, not necessarily the spirit of the law. So...the more you know, the more informed questions you can ask, and the better you understand yours and your child's rights to special services, etc.
Again...maybe you know all this stuff. I didn't. I would hate to see you struggling because someone didn't tell you info that could've been beneficial.
Also...don't be afraid to be the...how's the nice way to put it...the pushy, demanding parent with the school. Maybe talk to an educational liaison,an omsbudsman... who will put some authority to the school board, teachers, etc. Don't be afraid to fight for your kid.
Last edited by Sassybluesy; 12-02-2020 at 03:51 PM..
Contact a local autism group about resources that might be available. There are probably parent's groups.
I would see about what extra help you could get either within the school system or outside on the reading and writing. That will get to be more and more of an issue as he progresses. A consultant can help with navigating the school system bureaucracy on your rights. Some schools systems will be good and try to help. Some will lie to your face and try to avoid helping. Some will say good things but won't follow through.
If you are in a big city and can afford it, there will be private learning centers that can help. Again, I would seek advice from the local autism group. This is an Atlanta based learning center, just as an example: https://syllableslearningcenter.com/
Be patient. Its hard.
We have a special needs child, not autistic. You need to remember to take care of yourself. One of our social workers once gave some advice I remembered, "You are not an inexhaustible resource."
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