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My spouse of 41 years passed away after a long illness three weeks ago. I've had quite awhile to plan ahead and thought everything in my mind was settled. Now I'm rethinking things. Maybe purchasing another home right now isn't the right course of action. At my age, it might not be wise to tie up so much capital into another house.
Moving is expensive. Getting this house ready to sell has cost me a few thousand dollars already. Once it's ready, I still have to pay the realtor's fees, escrow fees, moving costs....
If I buy a new house, I reckon to get a few years out of it. If it has to be sold by me or my kids after awhile, there we go again. Expenses and fees. If I buy a house for, say, $400k, it will cost me $20k in realtor's fees, etc. to sell. That means it has to appreciate in value by that much just to break even. That's a lot of appreciation and it might not appreciate at all.
If I rent somewhere, the capital can be reinvested and at my disposal. No more maintenance worries, upkeep. I might decide to buy at some point and this will give me time to think.
Moving out of this house will be sad but I can't afford to keep it now.
I am so sorry for your loss. It was so soon everything probably feels raw. This is not a good time to be making huge decisions. Your logic makes sense yet I'd wait another 3 months before making any big decisions. You have plenty of time
I'm sorry you've lost your spouse.
I'd stay put for at least a few months to adjust to your new normal.
Check with State and Fed to see if there is a financial reason to sell by the end of the year in which your spouse died. I believe you qualify for a significant capital gains exclusion if you've lived in your home for at least 3 of the past 5 years. The exclusion for a couple is twice that of a single person.
If I were a woman I would not buy.
In fact, there are several housing areas I know of where a single woman of 69 would feel very comfortable - mostly apartments with similar age people in them.
My friend, age 81, bought into THIS PLACE He paid $80,000 for his cottage and has no further obligation other than minimal monthly fees. No taxes. He can stay there as long as he likes, and if he needs to move to an apartment, it is simply a matter of monthly fees. He never gets his 80,000 back, but that's not an issue to him.
Last week he broke his leg! No problem. They just moved him into a wing in the same large facility where he gets therapy and assistance until he can move back across the street to his cottage.
Life can be very comfortable after age 70. If a meteor lands on me, I hope my wife selects an option like this. If one lands on her I certainly will - especially if I get to where I do not like to drive. We're 79.
Last edited by Listener2307; Yesterday at 08:24 PM..
I wouldn't worry much about breaking even on a new house. I think, like others have said, you should let things settle a bit before any big changes if you can. Then, if it was me (and one day it probably will be), I'd think about how I would be most happy and comfortable living. If owning your own home is a better psychological situation for you, then I'd think about where that new home should be and just enjoy it and your life there as much as you can. If you'd rather the freedom from maintenance and so forth then maybe rent. Renting to me feels a little more precarious than owning, all financial considerations aside, unless I suppose in a retirement community sort of place if that's something you'd consider. I'm basically your same age (70) and I really wouldn't want to live in that setting. But everyone is different, and maybe I'll feel differently at some point, but for sure not now, not soon. Think about what you want, "breaking even" is a lesser concern than being comfortable and happy.
I think about this issue in the abstract. My husband is still alive and we're both well, but we are 70 and the time can't be too terribly distant when one of us will be left alone.
Agree with others who say to wait. After a major change it has always been said to wait one year to make a big decision. There are other issues to look into (with a tax professional and/or tax attorney).
Surviving spouses get the full $500,000 exclusion if they sell their house within two years of the date of their spouse's death. (They must meet other ownership and use requirements as well.) A surviving spouse who sells their home within two years also may not have to pay any capital gains tax on the sale
Like you say you try to anticipate everything; but, until it happened you could not anticipate your emotions fully. You need to let it all sink in a bit. You may be putting too much pressure on yourself too quickly.
My spouse of 41 years passed away after a long illness three weeks ago. I've had quite awhile to plan ahead and thought everything in my mind was settled. Now I'm rethinking things. Maybe purchasing another home right now isn't the right course of action. At my age, it might not be wise to tie up so much capital into another house.
Moving is expensive. Getting this house ready to sell has cost me a few thousand dollars already. Once it's ready, I still have to pay the realtor's fees, escrow fees, moving costs....
If I buy a new house, I reckon to get a few years out of it. If it has to be sold by me or my kids after awhile, there we go again. Expenses and fees. If I buy a house for, say, $400k, it will cost me $20k in realtor's fees, etc. to sell. That means it has to appreciate in value by that much just to break even. That's a lot of appreciation and it might not appreciate at all.
If I rent somewhere, the capital can be reinvested and at my disposal. No more maintenance worries, upkeep. I might decide to buy at some point and this will give me time to think.
Moving out of this house will be sad but I can't afford to keep it now.
Thoughts?
You didn't say how much your present house is worth. Nor did you say how much a decent 2BR condo would cost. Nor do we know how much a suitable rental apartment or condo would cost you. Nor do we know how much real estate taxes are in your area.
In short, there are many financial unknowns in your situation, so I'll just have to make assumptions or guesses. My first assumption is that if your house is worth considerably (say $200,000) more than a suitable condo or smaller suitable house, then I would suggest that you should sell your current house sometime later this year. If your house is not worth at least $200,000 more, then don't be in a rush to sell it.
If/when you do sell your house, I suggest renting for perhaps a year to find out how you like it and what you don't like about the smaller place. Then, after a year of renting, you should know whether you want to continue renting or perhaps buy a smaller house or condo. There's much less expense involved in moving from a rental then there is in moving from a house or condo that you need to sell (as you're well aware).
You didn't say how much your present house is worth. Nor did you say how much a decent 2BR condo would cost. Nor do we know how much a suitable rental apartment or condo would cost you. Nor do we know how much real estate taxes are in your area.
In short, there are many financial unknowns in your situation, so I'll just have to make assumptions or guesses. My first assumption is that if your house is worth considerably (say $200,000) more than a suitable condo or smaller suitable house, then I would suggest that you should sell your current house sometime later this year. If your house is not worth at least $200,000 more, then don't be in a rush to sell it.
If/when you do sell your house, I suggest renting for perhaps a year to find out how you like it and what you don't like about the smaller place. Then, after a year of renting, you should know whether you want to continue renting or perhaps buy a smaller house or condo. There's much less expense involved in moving from a rental then there is in moving from a house or condo that you need to sell (as you're well aware).
Good luck.
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I agree with your line of thinking. I have always thought if I was selling my house I would move out (with my pets) and put the final touches on before I put it on market. It would be easier to keep it show ready if you are not living there. Then, even if I bought right away I would be living in a rental and I could have the new place repainted and have the flooring changed out (or whatever) before I moved in.
I think about renting, say after age 75, however, my house is a nice tax free gift for someone. No one can truly accurately predict how long they have to live (unless they have a terminal diagnosis).
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