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Last week I sent a lady friend of mine a text saying that I was thinking of her. She replied that the text made her uncomfortable. I replied that it’s probably best I don’t text her again because I can never know what will trigger her or not. Too extreme?
A bit of background: I’ve been friends with said lady for a couple of years now. In my reply I essentially told her that I acknowledged her reality, and that I never wish to be the cause of her discomfort. She said her feelings are at least in part due to symptoms of complex PTSD. This isn’t the first time this person perceived something I said in a manner that wasn’t how I intended it.
Perhaps I think it's best I abstain from any kind of relations with women outside of my family and job.
Last week I sent a lady friend of mine a text saying that I was thinking of her. She replied that the text made her uncomfortable. I
It's kind of a weird thing to say, and if I got such a message from a female friend, I'd assume she was hitting on me. Do you want a relationship with her? Be honest.
It's kind of a weird thing to say, and if I got such a message from a female friend, I'd assume she was hitting on me. Do you want a relationship with her? Be honest.
Was your message just "I'm thinking of you", or something like "Have you seen/heard XYZ? I did and it made me think of you." (referencing an obvious inside joke between you two)
The former would feel weird. If you got a text from a male friend that simply said "I'm thinking of you", how would you react?
I'm female and occasionally get texts from female friends that send an image or whatever, followed by "this made me think of you". Typically I'm either humored or flattered.
How do you extrapolate her issues into the conclusion of staying away from all women?
Honestly this is just the latest instance in a years-long string of instances that seem to be indicative of my not so good luck in dealing with women, whether as friends, potential love interests, etc. For many years, I had been torn between a desire to be with women romantically (I consider myself something of a romantic at heart) and not being with them at all. I believe my history has been increasingly pushing me to make a clear decision not to be with anyone, even as friends. Not out of bitterness or resentment. It's just that trying to maintain female friendships has been for the most part way too problematic for me.
Was your message just "I'm thinking of you", or something like "Have you seen/heard XYZ? I did and it made me think of you." (referencing an obvious inside joke between you two)
The former would feel weird. If you got a text from a male friend that simply said "I'm thinking of you", how would you react?
I'm female and occasionally get texts from female friends that send an image or whatever, followed by "this made me think of you". Typically I'm either humored or flattered.
It was basically I'm thinking of you and I hope you're doing well. I've had guy friends tell me they love me before. No problem.
It's kind of a weird thing to say, and if I got such a message from a female friend, I'd assume she was hitting on me. Do you want a relationship with her? Be honest.
I did in the past and asked her about the possibility. She made it clear that she wasn't in that space at the time (at least with me). I left things alone. I would text her every now and again, but she had always seemed a bit distant.
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