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I've tried OK Cupid a few times over the years. It's not OK! "Met" some of the squirreliest women there. Usually it stops, for me anyway, before anything even starts, and the times its gone past the initial coffee get together, it hasn't worked out any better. I hate to use this phrase, but low quality people is how I would sum it up. People who don't have healthy relationships w/ others.
Would it be different if it were a pay site? I don't mind that, but a lot of people complain of it being almost impossible to end their membership and the monthly fees.
I haven't used dating sites seriously or visited any in probably 30 years, but if you REALLY want to slum it with "low quality people" then the free site PlentyOfFish is the place to be. It makes OKCupid look like high society. It's well known in the software development world because it's one of those sites developed by one guy that made him buckets of money in advertising. No idea how well it's doing these days. Just tried to visit and it blocked me, presumably because I am behind a VPN ... so they probably have a requirement that you use a "real" IP address. Maybe they have developed a few standards, lol.
I've tried OK Cupid a few times over the years. It's not OK! "Met" some of the squirreliest women there. Usually it stops, for me anyway, before anything even starts, and the times its gone past the initial coffee get together, it hasn't worked out any better. I hate to use this phrase, but low quality people is how I would sum it up. People who don't have healthy relationships w/ others.
Would it be different if it were a pay site? I don't mind that, but a lot of people complain of it being almost impossible to end their membership and the monthly fees.
It was my experience that yes, the people that pay for the subscription are usually the ones that are serious about meeting someone for an actual relationship. There were men that would say on their profile "I'm not a paying member, so hit me up at genisis313@Y." No thanks. If a man wants to meet someone that demands respect, he's going to have to pony up and pay to make contact with "her", she should not try to email him at yahoo. But then again, usually the women on there are money and drug hungry, no car, need a place to live, etc. I stopped doing the dating sites years ago and it was the best thing I've done for myself in many years.
I've met my now husband on okcupid, but before I met him, I've met lots of idiots. Honestly, I think that there is no such thing as good or bad dating site, just online dating isn't easy in general. I actually know a few couples who met on tinder (which is known for hooks ups), and they all are either married or engaged, one couple actually had a baby a few months ago.
As a woman, I'm sure my experience was different from yours, but I think online dating is good for giving you exposure to more people, so there is a higher chance to meet someone compatible. But in the end its just luck, you just should hope that you meet someone who wants the same things as you are, who you really like, and who also likes you back the same way. The thing is, when you meet people in real life, through school, work, events, parties, you at least get a vibe of a person before you go on a date with them. So you already know if you have any chemistry, if they are easy to talk to, if you have the same sense of humor etc, but with online dating, you really know nothing about a person except for what they look like (and sometimes not even that, cause people post old pictures, some are more photogenic than the others etc), and whatever they wrote about themselves. So often people may seem good on the paper, but you never know what are they like until you meet them. Yes, they could be actually awful, but sometimes you just don't really click or have chemistry, and its noone's fault.
I had an account on okcupid for around 5-6 months at first, and felt the same way as you, except for a few gender differences. As a woman, I was getting lots of messages, and had many dates. Most of the people seemed to be looking for hook ups, trying to talk about sex right away, lots of weird people who are not able to have a conversation or any kind of relationship, and just give you one word responses, lots of men trying to cheat on their wives, lots of flakes, lots or people playing games etc. Eventually I deleted myself, and then tried again after some time, and actually met my husband withing a month. We matched, and we also had several hobbies in common, so he messaged me actually talking about these things instead of "hey, how is your day going", so we started having Ling interesting conversations right away, went to have beers for the first date, and actually stayed till last call, because we were chatting so much. It was never awkward, and never felt like a job interview like with others. The conversation was just flowing. Shortly, we've met each others friends, I started spending every weekend at his place, moved in withing less than a year, he proposed a couple of years later and now we've been married for 2.5 years. He actually told me he has been struggling with online dating for a while too, meeting lots of crazies and flakes. So I don't think either of us did anything special, we just happened to find each other and it just worked. I'd say, OP, just keep trying. It gets frustrating, but you never know what is going to happen. Don't center your life around online dating, but just use it as a way to meet more people, and maybe something will work out
I haven't used dating sites seriously or visited any in probably 30 years, but if you REALLY want to slum it with "low quality people" then the free site PlentyOfFish is the place to be. It makes OKCupid look like high society. It's well known in the software development world because it's one of those sites developed by one guy that made him buckets of money in advertising. No idea how well it's doing these days. Just tried to visit and it blocked me, presumably because I am behind a VPN ... so they probably have a requirement that you use a "real" IP address. Maybe they have developed a few standards, lol.
PlentyOfFish is the site where the nurse in Washington state met a man who killed and dismembered her.
PlentyOfFish is the site where the nurse in Washington state met a man who killed and dismembered her.
Just want to to throw out that this can happen in any sort of date or meetup, online or not. Ted Bundy charmed and killed dozens of women after face to face interactions during the 1970s. The internet has just made it easier for these psychos.
I had good luck with eHarmony more than a decade ago. Match also offered opportunities to meet interesting, and interested, men, but my heart wasn't into it by then, so I never actually met any of the them. I've gone back to eHarmony a couple of times, too, but still can't bring myself to actually do anything with it. I'd definitely try it or another paid site, or a singles-specific meetup group or maybe a speed dating event, if thoughts of dating again ever seem tempting enough. I wouldn't even consider any of the free sites.
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