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Probably by the time people are teenagers they're aware if they're attractive. Some even before then.
One of my cousins was the most beautiful baby and little girl, not just cute, but beautiful. Strangers just walking by would exclaim how beautiful she was. So by the time she was a teenager she knew.
My mother and her sister, my aunt, were very beautiful, 1940s movie star quality. They had also been really pretty as children.
I've wondered if attractiveness in childhood leads to narcissistic tendencies. Several people in my family seem to be burdened with those traits although none officially diagnosed.
From what I've read about it, I'd say my father, who was considered handsome, went so far as to have Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
That's not to say that every attractive person is a narcissist, not at all.
When I look in the mirror all I see are flaws
In the end it's just surface and fades anyway. I wanted to be known for my abilities not my looks.
I don't know how narcissistic beautiful people are, but here is my anecdote.
One of the two most beautiful women I knew in college was altruistic and completely selfless.
When I say beautiful, I mean that most Hollywood casting types would dump about 2/3rds of the actresses playing leading women in films today, for someone of her impeccable beauty. Tall, blonde, blue-eyed, charming, polished, lovely.
She was so unselfish, I was convinced it was an act because NOBODY could be that nice. I even resolved to catch her being conceited and self-centered when she thought nobody was looking.
Nope. She was genuinely altruistic, completely and totally unselfish. She lived to help others. She was amazing. She was even more beautiful on the inside than she was on the outside. She had a huge heart and was completely unselfish.
This doesn't have any meaning to the discussion other than that I am sure she was often praised for her stunning beauty growing up, yet she wound up being the salt of the earth.
She taught me that altruism is real after I got to know her. I had believed altruism did not exist and was a disguise to hide self-interest. I was wrong.
Humility and modesty are among the most attractive qualities a person can have.
True. There are also people who say this as though it is fact and work it into every conversation. And there is the "humble brag".
I have a sister like this. I come from a family of four daughters. All of us are considered attractive. Our parents never said the words "pretty" or "beautiful" with reference to us.
On my prom night, my dad said, "you look lovely" and gave me a peck on the cheek.
With four daughters born within the span of seven years, each of us not looking very much like the other, outsiders have may have their favorites. One of my sisters is prone to "reporting" that they saw someone in so and so store and that they always thought that she was the most beautiful of the "Lovely" sisters.
Who does this? That's just obnoxious. It happens to this sister a few times a year. I am begining to doubt the veracity of this "fact".
When I went away to boarding school, there were four in my room. We wanted to invite boys from another school to meet us in Manhattan. One of the three others said "Sheena has the looks, let her call." I was taken off guard. The others agreed. We had met some boys from this school twice at mixers. Dances where you meet boys. But I wondered if they were right.
Then a girl from my hometown asked me to accompany her to a plastic surgeon so she could show him the type of nose she wanted. My mother agreed enthusiastically, because she thought that I have her nose and thought of hers as perfect. The doctor agreed that I had a very "nearly perfect female nose" but it wouldn't look right on my friend's face. I thought her new nose looked better than mine!
I am not sure why some families lavish compliments on their children and others play it down.
As I got older, I began to accept it. But talk about it? I am hard pressed to think of a time when bringing up my appearance is appropriate.
As long as you have it, you know it, at a certain point. However, with parents such as mine, you may find out later.
I will never understand that. I always tell my children - adults now - that they are gorgeous.
I had never thought of myself that way. Just as one of four sisters who were all "attractive".
My late 20s, 30s and 40s were my best looking years.
All of my daughters, granddaughters and greats are beautiful. My second to youngest granddaughter is 15 years old and has done a little modeling [decided not to sign with, I think Ford models, because her mother and I researched and discovered there is so much bad in that profession.] I know not all models or even most are exceptionally beautiful but B is. And she knows it. She says that her looks are a roll of the dice and based on current, ever changing standards. She is not conceited about it. Luckily for her no one assumes she is because when someone mentions her beauty she says "Thank you," and immediately turns beet red. She is aware she has privilage and feels it is unfair to those who don't look like her.
I think people who are more modest about their looks come off as more attractive. People who rate themselves a "10", for example, come off as arrogant and conceited.
I find women who rate themselves as an "8" to be the most attractive. They're good-looking, and they know it, but they're not so stuck-on-themselves as to rate themselves at the very top.
To answer the OP, some people are attractive and they know that they're attractive. A simple acknowledgement of this fact, if done in a matter-of-fact way, doesn't bother me. It's the people who do what I call the "Instagram pose" (strike a seductive pose in front of a mirror and take a picture of themselves) that I find off-putting, regardless of how physically attractive they might be.
All of my daughters, granddaughters and greats are beautiful. My second to youngest granddaughter is 15 years old and has done a little modeling [decided not to sign with, I think Ford models, because her mother and I researched and discovered there is so much bad in that profession.] I know not all models or even most are exceptionally beautiful but B is. And she knows it. She says that her looks are a roll of the dice and based on current, ever changing standards. She is not conceited about it. Luckily for her no one assumes she is because when someone mentions her beauty she says "Thank you," and immediately turns beet red. She is aware she has privilage and feels it is unfair to those who don't look like her.
Yes, this is why none of my beautiful family members have avoided this profession, especially for our young children.
They were more than their surface good looks.
My two grandkids are astonishingly good looking but their parents wouldn't dream of profiting by subjecting them to that world.
I find women who rate themselves as an "8" to be the most attractive. They're good-looking, and they know it, but they're not so stuck-on-themselves as to rate themselves at the very top.
Why would they be rating themselves at all; that, in and of itself, could be interpreted as unnecessary and/or unattractive. That said, what if they’re a ‘6’ and they rate themselves an ‘8’; it’s subjective. Heh, I agree a woman who is conceited or ‘stuck on herself’ is unattractive, but there are far better ways to gauge such.
I don't know how narcissistic beautiful people are, but here is my anecdote.
One of the two most beautiful women I knew in college was altruistic and completely selfless.
When I say beautiful, I mean that most Hollywood casting types would dump about 2/3rds of the actresses playing leading women in films today, for someone of her impeccable beauty. Tall, blonde, blue-eyed, charming, polished, lovely.
She was so unselfish, I was convinced it was an act because NOBODY could be that nice. I even resolved to catch her being conceited and self-centered when she thought nobody was looking.
Nope. She was genuinely altruistic, completely and totally unselfish. She lived to help others. She was amazing. She was even more beautiful on the inside than she was on the outside. She had a huge heart and was completely unselfish.
This doesn't have any meaning to the discussion other than that I am sure she was often praised for her stunning beauty growing up, yet she wound up being the salt of the earth.
She taught me that altruism is real after I got to know her. I had believed altruism did not exist and was a disguise to hide self-interest. I was wrong.
Sounds almost exactly like a woman I knew in my church where I previously lived.
It's the people who do what I call the "Instagram pose" (strike a seductive pose in front of a mirror and take a picture of themselves) that I find off-putting, regardless of how physically attractive they might be.
May I ask why this is? What's so offensive about that? It seems like a lot of comments in this thread are suggesting that it isn't okay for someone to enjoy being attractive.
Contrary to popular belief, good looks aren't always something you're simply born with but can require a lot of effort to maintain. If someone is doing the necessary work to improve their appearance by eating right, exercising, dressing well etc. I think that's something to be proud of.
As long as they are a good person overall and don't go out of their way to try to make others feel inferior, I don't see what the issue is.
May I ask why this is? What's so offensive about that? It seems like a lot of comments in this thread are suggesting that it isn't okay for someone to enjoy being attractive.
Contrary to popular belief, good looks aren't always something you're simply born with but can require a lot of effort to maintain. If someone is doing the necessary work to improve their appearance by eating right, exercising, dressing well etc. I think that's something to be proud of.
As long as they are a good person overall and don't go out of their way to try to make others feel inferior, I don't see what the issue is.
Doing a pose like that once or twice, not a big deal. But some people post poses like that constantly. I find it to be narcissistic, which is a personality trait that I find to be very unappealing.
I find it a turn-off. Just like the humble-brags on this thread.
I used to enjoy giving compliments but after I said something to 2 different women about their fabulous hair, and just getting dismissive replies, I said "no more". They certainly don't need anything from me. No more compliments on looks from me. I thought women appreciated compliments from other women, but.....
One said "Yeah, good hair genes" and the other said "yeah, I hear that all the time". Shake my head.
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