Procrastination (hyper, system, therapy, ADHD)

[stoptheridegonnahurl]

Procrastination is ruining my life..I know it sounds lame,but I really feel as if I can’t fight it sometimes..I am currently unemployed struggling to take an online class to supplement my resume so that I can have things other than retail and customer service on it..I feel so stuck and want to make more of myself but it’s like I’ll start on something and can’t finish. I’ve been stuck in this cycle for years. I just feel trapped, can anyone relate? And, yes before anyone says it, I know therapy would be great..but I can’t afford it. I wish there was some way I could just start over fresh. Get ten years back. Just start over new.

[Parnassia]

Originally Posted by stoptheridegonnahurl

Procrastination is ruining my life..I know it sounds lame,but I really feel as if I can’t fight it sometimes..I am currently unemployed struggling to take an online class to supplement my resume so that I can have things other than retail and customer service on it..I feel so stuck and want to make more of myself but it’s like I’ll start on something and can’t finish. I’ve been stuck in this cycle for years. I just feel trapped, can anyone relate? And, yes before anyone says it, I know therapy would be great..but I can’t afford it. I wish there was some way I could just start over fresh. Get ten years back. Just start over new.

Well, we all procrastinate sometimes so you're not alone. We probably all wish we could rewind time and start fresh sometimes too, but time only runs in one direction. No one can change that basic fact so there's really no point wishing otherwise. It's a futile waste of time and another way we avoid facing what needs to be faced, change what needs to change. That this has been so pervasive sounds like something beyond most C-Ders paygrade OP. There's something going on underneath the surface. We don't know you beyond what little you wrote, and teasing apart why you feel this way is going to take a lot more than that.

BTW, there are ways to access counseling that are lower/no cost. You're employed now right? Ask your HR office whether you have an Employee Assistance Program. Many employers offer this as a paid employee benefit. It can provide a connection to counselors, an initial consultation, as well as a limited number of free counseling sessions with one you choose. If your employer doesn't offer a option like this, your HR department may know of options in your local community that are low cost/free of charge. You could also ask your PCP about available resources.

Look, realize that what you've done up until now isn't working. Time to switch things up! Just realizing that you need to make a change is a start. You are no longer letting the tail wag you, you're taking charge and wagging it. That can be empowering...even if it doesn't sound like much. I know it sounds trite, but it's true. Every journey starts with the first step. What have you got to lose by starting? Quite a bit IMHO.

Wishing you the best OP!

[heavymind]

I'll add something to this thread later...

(Ha, had to do it!)

[Lodestar]

Best advice I ever got about the burden of procrastination was, "Do one positive thing every day."

When you go to bed you can congratulate yourself on a step of progress instead of feeling negative.

[Free-R]

Perhaps not so much for severe procrastination, but more for putting off things that need to get done, is that I have a master list of either goals or everyday itemized tasks I want to do. I can organize them by priority or importance, but I also like to mix them up so I'm forced to read the entire list. I print it out and keep it wherever I am at the most, which is usually on the coffee table where my laptop is. Hand-writing a list works the same. Then I check off the items on the list as they get done.

So taking from your OP, it might look something like this:

• buy picture frame
• take online class
• work out
• update resume
• get job
• update all passwords on all accounts
• wash car
• get a better job
• buy groceries
• PS5
• read [insert book(s)]
• eye appointment
• new TV
• take an art class
• buy discography of [insert band]
• check in with unemployment office
• see doctor and get preventative bloodwork done

Etc.

I put the biggest goals on there as well as the mundane ones I will have to do anyway but have been putting off for a stretch, such as buying groceries. It doesn't matter so much that they all get done, just that they stay on the list until the ball gets rolling on some of them. Sometimes there may be a spurt where I check a ton off, other times they'll sit on that list for eons.

Making a list is a simple goal to start off with, and it's a good way for me to force myself to look at any larger goals, even if I don't think I'll ever get to them. As time goes by, I cross some off, update others, or remove some that are no longer applicable and things like that.

[fleetiebelle]

When I was first diagnosed with ADHD, one of the things that really resonated was learning how ADHD is an interest-based nervous system instead of importance-based. I spent a lot of my educational years thinking I had a procrastination problem, but it was really that I didn't understand that for me to get started on something, I need a sense of urgency or hyperfocus. Waiting until the last minute before a deadline does that to me. It doesn't matter that I know a task is important and needs to be done well, I literally cannot start on something if it's not interesting or urgent.

If you can't speak to a doctor or therapist, it might help to think about times you were motivated and want you can learn from that in order to game your brain into getting things done. It might be making lists, setting timers and reminders, body-doubling (i.e. working near people for motivation, like in a coffee shop or library,) reward yourself. Figure out what works for you and set up systems for accountability.

[K12144]

ADHD was what I was going to ask about...

[Forever Blue]

Originally Posted by stoptheridegonnahurl

Procrastination is ruining my life..I know it sounds lame,but I really feel as if I can’t fight it sometimes..I am currently unemployed struggling to take an online class to supplement my resume so that I can have things other than retail and customer service on it..I feel so stuck and want to make more of myself but it’s like I’ll start on something and can’t finish. I’ve been stuck in this cycle for years. I just feel trapped, can anyone relate? And, yes before anyone says it, I know therapy would be great..but I can’t afford it. I wish there was some way I could just start over fresh. Get ten years back. Just start over new.

Regarding the part I bolded that you said, now we unfrotunately can't get back lost time, but each day is the first day of the rest of your life, so you'll just have to make it up in your mind to start something.

I've personally not been a procratinator overall in my life, but I have put off ome things longer than I liked to. Am I mad at myself? Sure, but we have to put that anger/regret aside & get going! Is it that you think you'll fail? If so, you'll have to find it within yourself to eliminate that negativity.

[lubby]

My husband is a big Procrastinator. He has all these things he wants to get done in his mind. When he does not get it done he gets mad at himself. I tell him do one thing at time. In his mind it's all or nothing. simple things like filing away papers or making a phone call. Once he gets that one thing or two done he feels better. My advice is to take it one day at a time. Make a list of things you want to get done. Do one thing each day or do it a couple times a week until it gets done. Rome wasn't built in one day. We have to take our time and not stress. I Procrastinate too but not that much. For example I have a big load of wash to do. Mostly towels. I have been putting of for 2 days now. I said to myself today is the day I will do the laundry. I plan to to that when I get home from work. We can't go back only forward.