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When my father passed, he left everything to her and we were not mentioned in the will, to my knowledge. We never received any notice of probate either, nor did we attend any 'reading of the will' type thing.
Strange thing at this late stage of the game. The whole situation back then was very hurtful for all of us.
I guess we'll see.
My father left everything to his second spouse. He listed my sister and myself in the will as his children who he choose to disinherit. It was crushing! Made us rethink everything we had ever did for him! His spouse (who was a doctor & wealthy) hardly acknowledged us at his funeral. He never responded to us afterwards.
You have 2 years - check that in her state- to file a claim against her estate if you want to do it.
In addition, check who can inherit in that state - in a lot of states - the stepchild is a legal heir
You are at least can go for the half of the estate ( your father’ s half split between 5 siblings if they too want to file)
Just file a claim that you are an heir, it costs just a court fee.
You always could abandon that later if it is too much hassle for not much
The OP didn't give the impression they felt they were entitled to any of their stepmom's property or that they want to pursue anything. Several replies are suggesting contesting this will. Why? If her will wasn't in question all that would do is stir up more unhappy family memories and line a couple of attorneys' pockets. IMHO, her will directing that extended family be notified of her passing seems to show a little bit of respect for their existence. Seems less dismissive than the way the OP's father treated them.
Remember, no one is owed an inheritance. It's a gift. As for the OP's father leaving everything to his second wife, that is reasonable and common. I'm not suggesting that it might not be hurtful to any kids he had, just that it isn't outside the pale. In many states it's sort of the default to name the surviving spouse the single beneficiary regardless whether it was a first or second marriage. That he didn't notify his kids that his estate was being probated, didn't bequeath anything to any of them directly (even a family heirloom), and didn't suggest or arrange that anything be passed on to them through either of his wives seems sad, but there may have been backstory the OP hasn't chosen to share that would explain it.
Last edited by Parnassia; 03-10-2024 at 02:47 PM..
Keep in mind that any property and assets jointly titled with spouse with survisorship or with spouse as beneficiary generally do not go through probate. So perhaps there was no need for probate for the OP's father's assets.
Last edited by Maddie104; 03-10-2024 at 04:06 PM..
You have 2 years - check that in her state- to file a claim against her estate if you want to do it.
In addition, check who can inherit in that state - in a lot of states - the stepchild is a legal heir
You are at least can go for the half of the estate ( your father’ s half split between 5 siblings if they too want to file)
Just file a claim that you are an heir, it costs just a court fee.
You always could abandon that later if it is too much hassle for not much
Hmmmmm I have never thought of myself as her step-child although I guess legally I was (?)
I will not pursue trying to get something from her. We'll see if she has something to give to his natural children.
Keep in mind that any property and assets jointly titled with spouse with survisorship or with spouse as beneficiary generally do not go through probate. So perhaps there was no need for probate for the OP's father's assets.
That's what I think although I don't recall. It was so long ago.
The OP didn't give the impression they felt they were entitled to any of their stepmom's property or that they want to pursue anything. Several replies are suggesting contesting this will. Why? If her will wasn't in question all that would do is stir up more unhappy family memories and line a couple of attorneys' pockets. IMHO, her will directing that extended family be notified of her passing seems to show a little bit of respect for their existence. Seems less dismissive than the way the OP's father treated them.
Remember, no one is owed an inheritance. It's a gift. As for the OP's father leaving everything to his second wife, that is reasonable and common. I'm not suggesting that it might not be hurtful to any kids he had, just that it isn't outside the pale. In many states it's sort of the default to name the surviving spouse the single beneficiary regardless whether it was a first or second marriage. That he didn't notify his kids that his estate was being probated, didn't bequeath anything to any of them directly (even a family heirloom), and didn't suggest or arrange that anything be passed on to them through either of his wives seems sad, but there may have been backstory the OP hasn't chosen to share that would explain it.
Thank you Parnassia. You are correct. I would never pursue 'trying to get something from her.'
I stated the bolded in another thread as it pertained to inheritances. When us 5 kids received nothing from our father, we were incredibly hurt, each of us for various reasons. I was aware that at one point, he had life insurance that was to be divided between the 5 of us. I have no idea what became of that.
As a result of that situation, I had to resolve that no one is owed an inheritance. That's how I dealt with it.
My father left everything to his second spouse. He listed my sister and myself in the will as his children who he choose to disinherit. It was crushing! Made us rethink everything we had ever did for him! His spouse (who was a doctor & wealthy) hardly acknowledged us at his funeral. He never responded to us afterwards.
How absolutely awful!! I know the hurt. I do have a backstory as Parnassia opined, but it is not a pretty one. Basically, none of us really developed a relationship with the 2nd wife and at one point we were all P.O.d that she wanted us to set up times to see him through her. At that point he was of good health so we didn't understand this. We loved him despite our troubled family. Violent and both parents alcoholics. Ultimately, I believed he was happy with her and she WAS his wife, so I let it be and was happy that he'd found some happiness.
Life throws us some curves. I'm trying not to ruminate on it.
I was aware that at one point, he had life insurance that was to be divided between the 5 of us. I have no idea what became of that.
Someone telling you something happened doesn't mean it did. If he never officially listed the 5 of you as beneficiaries on his life insurance policy, it never happened. If he had, the insurance company would have tracked you down.
Last edited by Parnassia; 03-10-2024 at 05:45 PM..
We don't know if 2nd Wife ever understood how her regulating access to your father hurt his children, or being unmentioned in his will felt like another slap in the face.
So, maybe I'm a Pollyanna, but I think it's quite possible that the 2nd wife has set aside a few family heirlooms for his 5 natural children. She doesn't need them, obviously, and given that she may never have had a desire or reason to be hurtful, she is doing this just to be kind.
Or, maybe I'm entirely wrong, and this is the Final Flush.
Someone telling you something happened doesn't mean it did. If he never officially listed the 5 of you as beneficiaries on his life insurance policy, it never happened. If he had, the insurance company would have tracked you down.
Agree. I saw the insurance paperwork once a long time ago. Dad showed it to me. My assumption was that the beneficiary(ies) changed when he married for the 2nd time.
I just sure hope we are not mentioned in a will to be told we were disinherited!!! hahah like, we know! smh
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The OP didn't give the impression they felt they were entitled to any of their stepmom's property or that they want to pursue anything. Several replies are suggesting contesting this will. Why? If her will wasn't in question all that would do is stir up more unhappy family memories and line a couple of attorneys' pockets. IMHO, her will directing that extended family be notified of her passing seems to show a little bit of respect for their existence. Seems less dismissive than the way the OP's father treated them. 
